In today’s episode, Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley provide an overview of the Modern Attachment – Regulation Spectrum – a model developed to integrate the varied attachment research, relational neuroscience, and the impact of culture & context. In this episode, they discuss what they call BAMA and the 3 R’s, which will come out in more detail in a book they’ve been working on for, well, quite awhile – so they just tell you the ideas here. 🙂  They also dig into attachment theory, internal working models, and states of being versus personality structure as they relay some of what they’ve learned in the past 5 seasons. It’s a packed episode to summarize some of the 5 years this podcast has been produced. 

Note: This podcast is a labor of love, and our patrons keep us free of corporate ads – thank you. We don’t sell anything except this course below on the attachment spectrum, which we created due to many requests. We aren’t here for a profit, just to keep up with production costs so if you can’t afford it, just contact us and tell us what you can pay.  We want everyone to have access that wants it. And, we need to support production of the show, so thanks for any support, shares, reviews or what we’d really love – to also join as a patron.

Ok, Sue and Ann developed this a while back and need to update it. However, it is power-packed course that goes into much more detail than they could on the podcast – it’s 4 hours! long. If you want to dive deeper into this topic, sign up by clicking below, and use OURCLAN as a discount promo code. For therapist, 3 CE hours are available.

https://therapistuncensored.com/courses/its-not-me-its-my-amygdala/

BAMA refers to the developmental unfolding of what has been called attachment. 

This represents the developmental unfolding of what eventually we call adult attachment.

Biology – we have a nervous nervous system that requires an older, wiser nervous system to help us feel safe. Polyvagal theory, affective co-regulation, mirror neurons and the 7 circuits of emotion are all online from birth, adjusting and responding to our environment. 

Attachment- the first A refers specifically to infant attachment research. Think John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth – or pre-dating them think of Konrad Lorenz and his geese, and Hary Harlow and his monkeys with their wire mothers which demonstrated we need more than milk, or food, to survive.  We need a relationship.  The Strange Situation was an original research instrument that validated Bowbly’s ideas and recognized the categories they later termed as Insecure-Avoidant, Secure, Insecure-Preoccupied and Disorganized Attachment. 

Maps are formed when patterns are established based on repeated experiences of the child’s biological drive for emotional safety.   Neural wiring forms to effectively create safety from 6 months to 3 years, and behavioral strategies develop from this basic biology to keep the caregiver close and available. The key here is “available” – some parents are fine being close but should their infant appear distressed or upset with them, they defend, avoid and reject the “needy” baby.  That, my friends, makes them emotionally unavailable, so the toddler learns quickly what to do and what not to do to keep the caregiver open and responsive.  In this case that may mean repressing expressing negative emotions, pushing away needs, and doubling down on the value of self-reliance.  This reduces the unconscious threat in the parent, thus keeping them as available as the toddler can make them. Notice though the whole drive is to create as much closeness as possible, and the internal working model, or map, helps navigate the way. These maps, also called internal working models, are the key to change.  They set us on a trajectory of development that becomes self-reinforcing – if I see the world as unsafe I behave accordingly and thus make the world less safe which confirms my original hypothesis.  Or, I see the world as just fine but myself as unlovable and undeserving, thus I look for evidence supporting this worldview and unconsciously co-create the very experience I most fear. Rejection and abandonment closely follow because while we think we are seeking closeness, our grabbing and not allowing ourselves to be soothed actually causes us to eventually be rejected, the exact thing we unconsciously predict is going to happen anyway. 

Adult Attachment, Finally the last A in BAMA. This represents us, now.  We are all grown up on one hand, but we carry forward our shaped nervous system, behavioral strategies, and unconscious maps to navigate the relational world. We love, fight, bond, mate, and parent from the trajectory of the BAM in BAMA – Biology, Attachment and then Maps, or attachment representations.  

This is one of many versions of the overall path to healing and recovery.  It names stages but doesn’t identify specifically how to’s just yet.  Instead, this is the basic scaffolding that is recognized in many models including Fonagy, Elliott & Brown, Siegel, and addiction research – pre-contemplation, contemplation, and change. 

Discussing the overall podcast, tying everything together.

The Modern Attachment Regulation Spectrum

Explaining the 3 Rs.

Explaining BAMA

Understanding how attachment has evolved.

Why a continuum

Internal working models

The various color stages for the internal working model of attachment. (Blue, Red, Green, Yellow)

Tye-Dye, a mention of unregulated stress, and why we need to organize.

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu126-modern-attachment/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu79-attachment-spectrum-and-the-nervous-system-quick-review-with-updates/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu145-class-race-culture-and-attachment-re-examined/

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation

We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join! 

Mental Health Liberation is our primary partner at this time – please consider giving whatever you can to support mental health access for those traditionally left behind and support training for BIPOC therapists.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) was developed initially by Sue Johnson 30 years ago and it is considered by many as the gold standard in tested, proven intervention for couples. The International Center for Excellence in Emotionally-Focused Therapy (ICEEFT) connects 70 centers around the globe. Our guest today is certified by ICEEFT and is an EFT supervisor for therapists in training.

Camille Scent, Ed.S., LPC, LMFT, is a Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist & Supervisor. She maintains a private practice just north of Atlanta, GA, Wise Heart Families, where she works with couples and families and provides supervision for therapists learning/practicing EFT. She is also a board member for the Atlanta Center for EFT.

Camille is also a long-time loyal supporter of Therapist Uncensored via Patreon, and we thank her from the bottom of our hearts. In plainspeak, she’s super smart and has a lot to offer, so if you want to learn more, need couples therapy – a little or a lot – or need EFT supervision – give her a shout!

Therapist personal experience in couples therapy using EFT

How emotion heals

Sue Johnson & development this therapeutic technique

Where to focus in couples therapy to heal the relationship – it’s not on content that’s for sure!

IFS – Internal Family Systems Therapy

The attachment & neuroscience connection — see paper below

If you want to study the theory or find an EFT therapist – resources below

The Atlanta Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy (ACEFT), founded by Certified EFT Trainer Michael Barnett, ED.S., LPC, offers training opportunities in Emotionally Focused Therapy, serves as a connecting point for therapists learning/practicing EFT, and maintains a membership directory of EFT trained therapists and EFT workshops for couples & families.

The International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT) was founded in 1998 by Dr. Sue Johnson and her colleagues in Ottawa, Canada. ICEEFT is the organizational body that designs and approves training programs related to Emotionally Focused Therapy, certifies EFT therapists around the world and conducts both process and outcome research studies on EFT.

Find an Emotionally Focused Therapist – ICEEFT’s searchable, international directory of therapists trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy

Dr. Sue Johnson – personal website for the developer of EFT

“Demon Dialogues” handout – From Sue Johnson’s website, a quick overview/introduction to the most typical patterns couples get stuck in

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love book by Sue Johwwwnson

Hold Me Tight Workshops – International listing of Hold Me Tight programs (based on the book) offered by EFT trained therapists

Hold Me Tight online program – do it yourself online version of Hold Me Tight

Hold Me Tight/Let Me Go – Workshop developed by EFT Trainers Nancy & Paul Aiken that focuses on relationship enhancement for parents and children. Specific variations are offered for adolescents, young adults, and adult children. (They also offer training for therapists.)

Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships book by Sue Johnson

Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy for Dummies by Brent Bradley and James Furrow

Attachment Theory in Practice: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with Individuals, Couples, and Families by Sue Johnson, Ed.D.

Stepping into Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy: Key Ingredients of Change by Lorrie L. Brubacher, M Ed, LMFT, Certified EFT Trainer

Emotionally Focused Family Therapy: Restoring Connection and Promoting Resilience By James L. Furrow, Gail Palmer, Susan M. Johnson, George Faller, Lisa Palmer-Olsen (all EFT Trainers)

Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with Trauma Survivors: Strengthening Attachment Bonds by Sue Johnson

The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy: Creating Connection by Sue Johnson (updated 3rd edition published in 2020)

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu-87-treating-complex-trauma-and-attachment-with-guest-dr-daniel-brown/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/https-therapistuncensored-com-tu140-couples-therapy-experts-ellyn-bader-peter-pearson/

We are diving into body-focused therapy today thanks to one of our patreon’s, who recommended this expert.  In today’s episode join co-host Dr. Ann Kelly and Dr. Robert Coffman’s conversation on using the body to heal the mind. This therapy has been around for over 100 years but it is still not commonplace in a lot of therapy practices.

William Reich published Mass Psychology of Fascism in 1933 and in 1936 was excluded from the International Society of Psychoanalysis. Nonetheless, Reich’s ideas inspired the development of several branches of body psychotherapy, including bioenergetic analysis, biosynthesis, and Hakomi, to name a few.

Today, body psychotherapy is practiced in many forms by therapists around the world. Associations such as the European Association of Body Psychotherapy (EABP) and the United States Association for Body Psychotherapy (USABP) oversee the field of body psychotherapy and offer training to interested professionals.

Dr. Robert Coffman joins co-host Dr. Ann Kelley for a discussion on body-focused therapy. Body mind brain what is the difference? Your body can determine how you are feeling internally, and you can enhance and limit your progress based on how your body positioning. Freud was able to see depression in someone’s chest.

Links:

Dr. Coffman provided a scan of some important pages of The Field of Body Psychotherapy

What is BioEnergetic?

https://www.bioenergetic-therapy.com/index.php/en/

https://www.bioenergetic-therapy.com/index.php/en/ba-resources/awarded-articles

Bioenergetics: The Revolutionary Therapy That Uses the Language of the Body to Heal the Problems of the Mind by Alexander Lowen.

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu65-sensorimotor-psychotherapy-tuning-into-the-wisdom-of-your-body-with-guest-dr-pat-ogden/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/what-is-somatic-experiencing-with-guest-abi-blakeslee/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu99-food-the-body-trauma-attachment-with-guests-paula-scatoloni-rachel-lewis-marlow/

There are many misconceptions and stereotypes about therapy.  In today’s episode join co-host Sue Marriott and Lori Gottlieb’s discussion and get a fast-take on how to use the experience to best get what you actually need.

Loro Gottlieb joins co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP for a discussion on the behind-the-scenes look at what therapy really is. In her NYT best-selling book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, Lori shared stories of several patients – including herself- and tells her own story about  seeking therapy and what she learned. She helps people understand how to solve their own problems, understand their behavior and actions, and tap into their “inner knowing” whenever they need it.

Too often people expect the therapist to just give them the solution but therapists actually wants to give people the tools to solve their problems as they come up. She shares her approach to therapy today, but also really gives us some background on how important it is to understand that we are telling our own story, and we have the agency to be able to change that narrative and use that to face down the issues in your life.

Lori Gottlieb is a powerhouse, and we are so honored to have her on the show.

She is a psychotherapist and author of the New York Times bestseller Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, which is currently being adapted as a television series.

In addition to her clinical practice, she writes The Atlantic’s weekly “Dear Therapist” advice column and is co-host of the popular “Dear Therapists” podcast produced by Katie Couric. She contributes regularly to The New York Times and many other publications and in 2019, her TED Talk was one of the Top 10 Most Watched of the Year.

A member of the Advisory Council for Bring Change to Mind, she is a sought-after expert in media such as The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, CNN, and NPR’s “Fresh Air.”

Being a therapist and also a human, breaking down the wall between the two.

How you may be an unreliable narrator in your own story.

Why it’s important to understand and know that how you present your story – focusing on the process not the content.

Why the role you think you have might NOT be your ACTUAL role.

We have a choice in how we respond to issues and people in our lives.

Visit her website: LoriGottlieb.com

Grab her book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

Check out her Podcast, Dear Therapists

Her column, Dear Therapist in The Atlantic

Don’t miss her writings in The New York Times!

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu62-the-luv-doc-dating-and-relationship-advice-from-the-trenches-with-dan-hardick/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu67-a-practical-technique-to-calm-and-confidence-with-guest-richard-hill/

If you are marginalized and feel you can add substance to this conversation of class, race, culture, and attachment, please contact us!   We can publish your written word, highlight your work, pass on your perspective or potentially… have you on as a guest.  We and our incredible audience want to listen and learn.

With deep respect for the scholars, clinicians, and scientists that have cumulatively developed one of the most solid lines of empirically supported psychological theory in human history, we trust that these are questions those who came before us have previously welcomed and would continue to encourage.  By definition, we cannot know what is unconsciously affecting our perceptions, interpretations, and experienced-based assumptions.  Implicit bias is real though, and it is our absolute responsibility to vet it out and question what we think we know. Our deep hope is that the re-examination of this line of exploration serves to refine, add dimension and thus embolden attachment theory, not diminish it.

Given what those of us in the dominant cultures are only slowly consciously realizing, it is extremely hard to see what we don’t perceive.  Questioning one’s relationship with parents can be offensive to some, and not having enough humility and shame can be detrimental in some cultures, ie. the opposite of insecurity.  Working to escape our embedded cultural and experience-based assumptions about what constitutes maternal sensitivity, security and human attachment disorder is not an act, or a podcast, or a moment, but a permanent stance.

They discuss patriarchy, racial inequality, collectivist versus individualistic cultures, poverty and class – HUGE topics that we too often change check-out lines to avoid awkwardness and the fears of saying the wrong thing or offending someone.  Sue and Ann chose to mess up, unintentionally offend and feel scared and insecure in their words for the greater goal of engaging in conversation and stimulating thinking on how Western white wealthy privilege impacts attachment science and our views on healthy child development overall.

NOTE: As the hosts of Therapist Uncensored we are middle-aged, educated, white, cis-women.  We both mostly identify as gay but can pass even when we don’t mean to.  Even though we like to see ourselves as outsiders, we are decidedly not.  We are wealthy relative to the world, have the massive privilege of the mic for a Top 10 show on iTunes with almost 2 million downloads so our voice is ridiculously and undeservedly amplified over other voices. We hope to use our privilege to share the science of relating to those who would otherwise not ever have access and to amplify voices and perspectives that might otherwise not be heard.  We love our collective community of professional mental health providers but don’t limit our programming to therapists only because we know healers come in all forms and not everyone has access or desire to getting letters behind your name.

Parenting and Preschooler Attachment Among Low-income Urban African American Families  by Barnett et all

https://div12.org/keeping-culture-in-mind-mentalizing-from-a-cross-cultural-perspective/

Is Attachment Theory Consistent with Aboriginal Parenting Realities? Raymond Neckowaya, Keith Brownlee, and Bruno Castellana https://fncaringsociety.com/sites/default/files/online-journal/vol3num2/Neckoway_Brownlee_Castellan_pp65.pdf

APA Deep Poverty Initiative Challenge: https://www.apa.org/about/governance/president/deep-poverty-challenge

Best Practices in Conceptualizing and Measuring Social Class in Psychological Research by Matthew A. Diemer, Rashmita S. Mistry, Martha E. Wadsworth, Irene Lopez, Faye Reimers http://www.irenelopezphd.com/uploads/1/0/1/4/10149037/best_practices_in_conceptualizing_and_measuring_social_class.pdf

Unmasking race, class and culture in the psychoanalytic space Edited by Kate White, drawn from the John Bowlby Memorial Conference.

Agishtein, P., & Brumbaugh, C. (2013). Cultural variation in adult attachment: The impact of ethnicity, collectivism, and country of origin. Journal of Social, Evolutionary, and Cultural Psychology, 7(4), 384-405. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/h0099181

Multicultural implications for the applications of attachment theory by Brown et al. American Journal of Psychotherapy.

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu20-developing-racial-identity-with-guests-rudy-lucas-and-christine-schmidt/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu123_narratives_of_fear/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu124-hip-hop-as-therapy-beat-making-lyrics-community-empowerment/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu109-this-is-resilience-in-action-with-guest-alphanso-appleton/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu20-developing-racial-identity-with-guests-rudy-lucas-and-christine-schmidt/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu85-attachment-in-the-classroom-with-guest-linno-rhodes/

Join our neuronerd community below, or just look for us on Facebook to get more cool free content!! 

In this episode, Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP shares a specific case about an awkward goose named Felicity. She first heard Feli in a paper entitled A Felicitous Meeting of Attachment and Relational Psychotherapy Daniel N. Stern. The original article was written by H Fischer-Mamblona, both of which are linked in the Resource section.  This has been a helpful story to some who feel rather awkward themselves.

We hope you enjoy the story, thank you for your incredible work Dan Stern.

Using an example of a goose which grew up in complete isolation, this article shows how escape behaviour increases through all its developmental steps by lack of a sufficient secure primary attachment object. If a gosling has no mother, its fear influences wide parts of its behaviour and blocks the capacity to approach another animal in order to form a new attachment. But the urge for attachment is still alive and provokes strong conflicts between this urge and fear. In these situations displacement activities and apathy occur–attachment-disordered behaviour. Under partly artificial circumstances, a change to ‘normal’ attachment behaviour took place by reduction of escape motivation, which enabled the goose to accept her brood. From this moment on the attachment-disordered behaviour, the displacement activity and the apathy disappeared. Implications to human behaviour are drawn–a comparison between displacement activity and neurotic symptoms, the state of apathy and personal disorder. A synthesis of ethological and psychoanalytical models concerning etiological and therapeutic aspects is discussed. Fear and attachment, not aggression and sexuality–our ‘animal heritage’–are the primary factors which influence our development. The balance of fear and attachment is the basis for a healthy or unhealthy development of social relationships. This applies to social living animals as well as to humans.

Daniel N. Stern wrote The Interpersonal World of the Infant: A View from Psychoanalysis and Developmental Psychology, which challenges the traditional developmental sequence as well as the idea that issues of attachment, dependency, and trust are confined to infancy, Stern integrates clinical and experimental science to support his revolutionizing vision of the social and emotional life of the youngest children, which has had spiraling implications for theory, research, and practice.

On the Evolution of Attachment-Disorder Behavior – H Fischer-Mamblona

The Interpersonal World of the Infant: A View from Psychoanalysis and Developmental Psychology by Daniel N. Stern – Amazon | Bookshop.org

A Felicitous Meeting of Attachment and Relational Psychotherapy  – Daniel N. Stern

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu31-attachment-on-a-spectrum-navigating-adult-insecurity-and-security/

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Is narcissism related more to preoccupation or a dismissing state of mind regarding attachment?  You may be surprised.  Learn more about the science of narcissism, abandonment and it’s relationship to attachment theory. Dr. Durvasula shares her deep study into these dynamics and her experience-based wisdom on working with those struggling with it as well as those in relationship to those who have high narcissistic tendencies.

If you enjoyed our podcast series Holding Your Own with Challenging Personalities, then you are gonna love this episode – it only deepens and expands on the ideas presented there.  See #6 of our 6 part series on Holding Your Own in Challenging Relationships.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula joins co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP for a discussion on breaking down narcissism and abandonment.  Sue found Dr. Ramani accidentally in a video she stumbled upon where she was a consultant to Will Smith in The Red Table Talk Takeover.   The video was about responsibly confronting a difficult relationship.  She is an excellent clinician that brought professionalism and deeper insight into a high-impact Hollywood story such that helps the public appreciate mentalization and the skills involved in managing difficult relationships.

The focus of Dr. Ramani Durvasula’s clinical, academic and consultative work is the etiology and impact of narcissism and high-conflict, entitled, antagonistic personality styles on human relationships, mental health, and societal expectations.  She has spoken on these issues to clinicians, educators and researchers around the world. Her work has been featured at SXSW, TEDx, and on a wide range of media platforms including Red Table Talk, the Today Show, Oxygen, Investigation Discovery, Bravo, and she is a featured expert on the digital media mental health platform Med Circle.

To be clear, Dr. Durvasula’s is not just psychologist for Hollywood.  Her research on personality disorders has been funded by the National Institutes of Health and she is a Consulting Editor of the scientific journal Behavioral Medicine. Dr. Durvasula has also been a participant in the governance of the American Psychological Association, and most recently as the Chair of the STAY-MHSAS Training Advisory Committee of the Minority Fellowship Program.

Most attractive to our audience, who let’s say … values authenticity, is that she has been described as “brutally honest” when it comes to calling out incivility and selfishness in relationship.

Dismissing states of mind and preoccupation in relationship to attachment and self-centeredness.

How narcissists mirror rather than empathize and why that matters so much.  (This is a good way to discern what you are dealing with and to check yourself.)

Four main bricks of a narcissistic relationship.

The 90 / 10 rule in narcissistic relationships, a great Dr. Ramani idea and suggestion!

Self-awareness in relationships – how to cultivate self versus other focus.

If you are the one with narcissistic tendencies – thanks for digging into this, that is very cool!  What to do.  (Remember to also check out Therapist Uncensored series on Holding Your Own with Challenging Personalities, referenced above.)

Healthy narcissism.

Diagnosis concerns & personality disorders.

Core behaviors of those with high narcissism.

Help for those in relationship with those highly involved with themselves. 🙂

How the educational systems can foster narcissism.

https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/NPI/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/guide-better-relationships/201908/insecurity-narcissism-and-the-culture-victimhood

“Don’t You Know Who I Am”: How to Stay Sane in the Era of Narcissism, Entitlement and Incivility.

Should I Stay or Should I Go:  Surviving a Relationship With a Narcissist,

http://doctor-ramani.com/contact/

Her series with Jada Pinkett Smith & family on the Red Table Talk series –

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHHWgG7dB6A

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu111-navigating-narcissistic-relationships-gaslighting-manipulation-and-grandiosity-called-out/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu105-narcissism-what-is-going-on-under-the-defense-with-sue-marriott-and-ann-kelley/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu13-our-powerful-fascination-with-narcissism-in-the-era-of-trump/

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For parents and for therapists treating children and adults – learn more about the science of trauma and what heals.

We are human, and we do have trauma, but maybe we need to look at being focused on relationships, connection, and curiosity about why this is happening. This discussion looks at how the connection is a biological imperative, and we’re always working towards building a relationship.

Therapist Robyn Gobbel, LCSW joins co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP for a discussion on breaking down the hardest parts of relationships and parenting. Robyn’s shares insights into the essence of trauma-informed therapy. She has developed online communities, as well as a podcast, all about helping parents who are dealing with these specific issues in practical application. We hope that her creative solutions will help you.

Who is Robyn Gobbel?

Robyn Gobbel, MSW, RPT-S, loves coffee, P!NK, and everything about the brain. Once (recently!) her teenager went ballistic on her for getting ANOTHER (glitter!) coffee mug in the mail. Robyn loves cultivating deep, resonant connections with anyone who is up for it, as well as teaching anyone who will listen to harness the power of neuroscience so they can cultivate deep, resonant connections. What would change in the world if we could all do that? To see, be with, feel, and deeply know each other…and ourselves. Robyn thinks everything could change.

Changing how to provide mental health care to families.

The importance of regulation AND connection.

Working on a book about personal trauma healing

The importance of understanding the relational neurobiology of being human.

The importance of community for parents dealing with dysregulation and behavioral issues.

Reducing the shame factor in much of trauma-informed therapy.

Treatment of trauma-based behavioral issues.

Virtual online clubs for parents who are struggling.

Robyn has free resources on her website

https://icowellness.com/

Why do I get so dysregulated? 

Check out Robyn’s podcast

Online Club for Parents

Haven’t gotten enough?

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu27-raising-secure-children-with-guest-tina-payne-bryson/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu53-complex-trauma-and-managing-dysregulation-with-guest-robyn-gobbel/

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Leading attachment researcher Dr. Alan Sroufe shares the summary of his (and his team in Minnesota) decades of research looking at attachment though life. They followed individuals from birth through infancy and toddlerhood, to school age, adolescence, early adulthood and now parenthood.  This is important because it helps us understand the essence of what attachment is measuring, and how to cultivate security no matter what age you are or what background you come from. Dr. Sroufe is an internationally recognized expert on early attachment relationships, emotional development, and developmental psychopathology and has published seven books and 140 articles on these and related topics!

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Dr. Alan Sroufe’s new book summarizes decades of attachment research – A Compelling Idea, How We Become the Person’s We Are (2020).  It’s part memoire, part history of attachment science – and it’s great for our audience because it brings the findings of this ground-breaking longitudinal research on how we become ourselves in one succinct place.

The Minnesota Longitudinal Study of Risk and Adaptation began in the early 1970s, initiated by Byron Egeland as a study of a large cohort of mothers living in poverty. In the 1970s and early 1980s, empirical attachment research had been primarily pursued by Ainsworth and her students. The research group led by Alan Sroufe and Egeland was important in providing a second pillar to hold up the paradigm from the 1970s to the present. The Strange Situation was conducted with the sample by Sroufe and his graduate students Everett Waters and Brian Vaughn. Early work by the research group documented the role of caregiving in shaping patterns of attachment in the Strange Situation, and also the capacity of infant attachment patterns to predict later social competence and mental health. Sroufe and Egeland created an ‘electric atmosphere’ in their research group, as they provided the first longitudinal evidence of the implications of attachment relationships.1 Students described their ‘imperturbable optimism’, ‘wisdom about human nature’, and ‘compassion’ as important qualities in the creation of the atmosphere, along with the sense of contributing to meaningful and cutting-edge developmental science.2 They were a great stabilizing and integrative presence for the field of attachment research. Though Egeland and Sroufe have now retired, research with the Minnesota Longitudinal Study of Risk and Adaptation has continued.

Other episodes you may enjoy:  Ep 117 with Dr. Bruce Perry discussing trauma and resilience 

Co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP and Dr. Sroufe discuss his reflections – both personal and professional. It is rare to get to sit at the hearth with such an important contributor to the field but you get just that – we encourage you to get the book, sit back and listen to the podcast and learn from the very source.

Dr. Sroufe is Professor Emeritus of Child Psychology in the Institute of Child Development at the University of Minnesota and he has been an Associate Editor of Developmental Psychology and Development and Psychopathology.  His awards include the Distinguished Scientific Contribution Award from the Society for Research in Child Development, the Bowlby Ainsworth Award for Contributions to Attachment Research, the G. Stanley Hall Award for Distinguished Scientific Contribution to Developmental Psychology from Division 7 of the American Psychology Association, an Honorary Doctorate Degree from the University of Leiden, and the Distinguished Teaching Award from the College of Education, University of Minnesota.

Guiding question behind Sroufe’s ongoing 1974 study

Why is change difficult? Negative expectations can result in off-putting behavior

Chronic early stress and early predictors

Positive relationships with teachers reported for those with secure attachment backgrounds

The importance of a supportive relationship as a predictor

Those with secure history who experience bad times don’t lose their secure history

“Earned” secure attachment and its neurological intricacies

Importance of being able to turn to someone, giving and receiving support, legacies of attachment

A Compelling Idea, How We Become the Person’s We Are (2020) by Alan Sroufe

The Development of the Person The Minnesota Study of Risk and Adaptation from Birth Through Adulthood

by Dr. Alan Sroufe et al.

Hey neuronerds wanting to know more – here is a great link to a PDF summarizing the study and is well worth the read –

Minnesota longitudinal study of risk and adaptation – chapter 4  

To reach Dr. Sroufe

Dr. Sroufe’s CV

Lessons from the Minnesota Longitudinal Study

Clinical Application of the Adult Attachment Interview Edited by H. Steele & M. Steele

Haven’t gotten enough of attachment through the lifespan?  We have you covered, please hear Sue Marriott’s conversation with him from a few years ago – episode 56 click below.

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu56-how-we-come-to-define-ourselves-attachment-research-over-decades-with-guest-alan-sroufe/

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Every couple has its ups and downs, but it’s easy to think that your relationship is uniquely challenging. Experts in couples therapy and a couple themselves, Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson join co-host Sue Marriott to discuss what most people get wrong about working with couples, and how to help get it right. Together, they’ll dive into the dos and don’ts of couples therapy, from the perspective of the therapist and the patient.

Dr. Ellyn Bader is considered by many to be the preeminent expert in couples therapy training. Together with her husband, Dr. Peter Pearson, they created the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, and literally wrote the book on marital therapy.

Peter Pearson, Ph.D., and his wife, Dr. Ellyn Bader, founded The Couples Institute in 1984. Both have now helped literally thousands of couples in their work.

Pete and Ellyn have been featured in over 50 radio and television programs including The Today Show, Good Morning America, and CBS Early Morning News. They have appeared on NPR and been quoted in publications including The New York Times, Oprah Magazine, Business Insider, Redbook, and Cosmopolitan.

Their popular book, Tell Me No Lies, and In Quest of a Mythical Mate has been of critical help to many couples.

The Holy Grail of couples work is really just trying to help couples differentiate together, instead of just individuating on their own. What do we mean by that? Put simply, tensions and difference doesn’t have to be scary and separate, but can instead be exciting.

Most fights are, at their core, power struggles. It’s often framed as “I want you to change to accommodate me” and vice versa. To grow and change, they need to shift their focus away from winners and losers, but instead towards the WE. The key to couples getting there, is helping each person really own their own stuff. Importantly, can we take responsibility without shame for our own role in each conflict.

There are three things that really get couples to change their behavior

There’s no substitute for having years of experience as a couples therapist. Specifically, if you’re looking for a new couples therapist, make sure to interview them and really find a place and a person that will be right for you.

It’s also important to remember that the therapist isn’t there to take anyone’s side. Again, couples therapy is about finding and holding your own accountability. You need to be prepared to do the work on your own side to make your relationship grown and expand.

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu121-the-purpose-of-relationships-redefined-during-quarantine-with-stan-tatkin/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/holding-your-own1-messy-but-secure-relating/

Ellyn and Peter’s website contains all kinds of interactive materials and blogs. A must see!

https://www.couplesinstitutetraining.com/

To get more of this kind of in-depth discussion with quality content and real-world healing – join us on FB where you can find more of your peeps.

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