This Complex Life

They Should Just Know and Other Ways Relationships Get Hard


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Have you ever found yourself thinking my partner is not the same person I fell in love with.

Maybe you still care deeply but something feels off.

Conversations go in circles.

You keep fighting about the same things

Or you feel lonely even though you are still together.

This is a pattern I see often in my work as a couples therapist. Most couples want the same things. Connection. Safety. Feeling valued. Where they get stuck is in how they try to get there.

In this episode of This Complex Life, I walk you through five common patterns that show up when couples feel disconnected over time. 

This is not about fixing your partner. It is about understanding what is actually happening underneath the surface when two people who care start missing each other.

Feeling disconnected does not automatically mean you have outgrown each other or chosen the wrong person. Often it means the relationship has not been updated to match how life and people have changed.

In this episode, I share the 5 common mistakes I see people make. 

• Why relationships can feel harder as life gets fuller

• How unmet expectations quietly create distance

• What happens when both people are trying but still missing each other

• Why assuming they should just know leads to resentment

• How criticism and contempt creep in without you noticing

If you are feeling stuck, confused, or wondering what happened to the closeness you once had, you are not alone in this. Some of this is uncomfortable and that is okay. 

Understanding the pattern is often the first step towards repair.

Tired of going round in circles with your partner?

Relationship Refresh is a practical couples program that helps you stop the blame game, communicate better and feel like a team again.

👉 marievakakis.com.au/for-couples

If things feel more stuck and you need deeper support, you can book an Intensive Couples Therapy session with me through The Therapy Hub

👉 thetherapyhub.com.au

Struggling to talk about sex, desire or intimacy without it getting weird or shutting down?

Download my free guide How to talk about sex, desire and connection: https://mailchi.mp/marievakakis/a-guide-to-talking-about-sex-and-intimacy

Connected Teens

https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/

Connect with Marie

https://thetherapyhub.com.au/

https://marievakakis.com.au/

https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

Submit a question to the Podcast

https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Mentioned in this episode:

Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset

https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

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This Complex LifeBy Marie Vakakis

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