My guests this week are Pat and Tammy McLeod. They shared about their family’s experience of loss and healing, which they describe in their book Hit Hard: One Family's Journey of Letting Go of What Was—and Learning to Live Well with What Is (affiliate link). You’ll hear them describe in this episode the traumatic brain injury that nearly killed their son when he was sixteen years old, and dramatically changed his life, and his family’s. We discussed the pain of ambiguous loss: when we have a loved one on one level, but don’t have them on another. And we talked about where Pat and Tammy find hope and comfort. I know you’ll take a lot from this discussion, as they describe the many challenges they’ve been through, and the strength they found to meet every one.

I’m very pleased this week to have Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman back on the podcast. Scott was my guest about a year ago, and a lot has happened since then. We talked in this episode about the profound changes that Scott has experienced during that time, and the fact that a mindful awakening isn’t simply a blissful experience. Opening our eyes and being fully present can also be painful. And Scott has some good insights there. We also touched on racism and anti-racism, Scott’s forays into TikTok, and an exciting announcement that he makes toward the end of our discussion.

My guests this week are Aaron and Jocelyn Freeman, who specialize in helping busy couples communicate better with each other. We talked about their recent book, The Argument Hangover (affiliate link), including what an argument hangover is and how we can avoid them, or at least move through them more quickly. Other topics we explored included how to deal with our partner’s triggers, and our own, as well as the growth that often comes out of difficult conversations.

My guests this week are Dr. David Yusko and Dara Lovitz. We talked about the book they wrote together called Gag Reflections (affiliate link), which describes Dara’s history of emetophobia—an intense fear of vomit—and her treatment with David. We discussed things like the difference between ordinary fear or dislike of something, and an actual phobia; why avoidance is the real problem, even though it’s so understandable that we want to avoid the things we fear; how to do exposure therapy effectively; and lots more.

If you suffer from a fear of vomit, this conversation can give you a lot of hope. And whether or not you deal with emetophobia, there’s a lot to take from this discussion.

My guest this week is Bunmi Laditan, author of a new book called Dear God: Honest Prayers to a God Who Listens. I really loved talking with Bunmi. She has a sincerity and an authenticity that are impossible to miss. We explored her moments of darkness and doubt, the difficulty we might have in relating to the concept of “God” as a male figure, whether God appreciates our irreverence, and the nature of divine love, among other topics.

I don’t think Bunmi would mind my saying that she has a childlike exuberance when she talks about God’s love, which she clearly wants everyone to know. We also discussed her suicide attempt, and the near-death experience that followed. I think you’ll get a lot out of this conversation.

My guest this week is Dr. Michael Stephen. He’s the author of a new book called Breath Taking: The Power, Fragility, and Future of Our Extraordinary Lungs (affiliate link). Michael and I talked about some really important ideas related to the lungs, including life itself, of course, and COVID, mind-body breathwork, the communal nature of our atmosphere, the extraordinary human feats our lungs make possible, and a lot more.

My guests this week are Dr. Ted Brodkin and Ashley Pallathra, authors of the recent book Missing Each Other (affiliate link), which is about finding social attunement. I really enjoyed this discussion, where we explored the benefits of greater connection during our interactions with others, and how we can cultivate that connection.

My guest this week is my brother, Malachi Gillihan. He’s currently doing graduate work in east-west psychology, studying the intersection of trauma and spirituality. So we talked a lot about that connection (which builds on my conversation with Jonah Paquette in last week’s episode). We also got into issues like Steve Porges’s polyvagal theory, the harsh self-judgments we often make after trauma, and what it means to say yes to all of life. It hope you find our discussion to be helpful.

I’m very pleased this week to have Dr. Jonah Paquette back on the podcast for a second time. Jonah is the author of an excellent book called Awestruck (affiliate link), which we talked a lot about in our first conversation. This time we focused on a couple of main topics. The first was trauma, and especially posttraumatic growth. We explored the question of whether there is any contradiction between the pain and confusion of trauma, and the possibility that we can grow from our most difficult experiences—and even become more fully ourselves.

We then turned to the issue of liberal orthodoxy and the cancel culture, and ways we might have more open and productive dialogues. There’s a lot of interesting nuance to discuss there.

I have two important and enjoyable conversations to share with you this week. Both are about finding greater unity and harmony in our political conversations, even when we hold very different views.

Tim Payton and Douglass Teschner are both to the right of me on the political spectrum, but we share a lot of similar values, and a deep concern about the corrosive division in our country. I really appreciate the perspective that each of my guests brings. The biggest overarching theme in this episode is listening to understand.