This Whole Life

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me has not been ineffective."
~ 1 Corinthians 15:10

As humans living in a fallen world, we often feel the space between our hopes and reality, and in that space we find disappointment, frustration, and heartbreak. Our relationships, our families, our work are marked by this hardship. What do we do when we are so tempted to either deny reality or wallow in the difficulty?

In episode 36 of "This Whole Life," Kenna and Pat delve into the topic of radical acceptance, navigating the complexities and challenges of embracing this skill in everyday life - especially during the holiday season. They share personal stories and insights on practicing radical acceptance, emphasizing the importance of Acknowledging, Honoring, and Accepting reality in order to move forward in hope and joy. From dealing with difficult relationships to facing professional uncertainties, Kenna and Pat illustrate how radical acceptance can lead to emotional growth and newfound possibilities. Radical acceptance does NOT mean accepting sin or giving up our efforts to work for better relationships and situations. Rather, radical acceptance allows us to move forward with purpose by clarifying our starting point in the present moment.

Join us for this hopeful, real, and relevant conversation!

Chapters:
0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
13:50: Lightning Round: Hot Takes
25:29: Exploring Radical Acceptance
39:51: Real life example of radical acceptance
54:52: Challenge By Choice

Episode 36 Show Notes

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Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"It is necessary that the heroic becomes daily and that the daily becomes heroic."
~ Saint Zélie Martin

In this fallen world, there are particular evils that require the grace of God and the support of loved ones to overcome. Pornography certainly falls into this category. In the second half of the conversation about pornography, Pat & Kenna discuss the consequences that brokenness and addiction had for their marriage. They also recall key moments that led them to reconciliation and deeper intimacy.

Loving relationships, especially marriages, are the ones most affected by pornography and sin of any kind. And it's also true that loving relationships and marriages are one of the most powerful agents of healing on the path to recovery and wholeness. How can we restore a sense of unity and connection when hope seems lost in a relationship? How do we even begin to build trust when there has been so much betrayal? Join Pat & Kenna for this forthright conversation, and get ready to move toward authenticity and communion!

Episode 35 Show Notes

Chapters:
0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
11:19: Continuing the conversation on pornography
14:29: Responding to listener questions
26:18: How healing & hope looked in our marriage
41:33: Earning & building trust
50:10: United together against a threat to our marriage
55:23: Challenge By Choice

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

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Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

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Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God..."
~ Psalm 51:12

How can something that affects all of us be something that we almost never talk about honestly and purposefully? Pornography has infiltrated individuals, marriages, families, and the Church, and it's time to deal with it in ways that are faithful and fruitful. In this incredibly candid episode, Pat and Kenna dive into an intimate and inspiring discussion about the impact of pornography within their marriage and their own personal journeys. With raw vulnerability, they reveal the emotional toll, struggles, and triumphs experienced during Pat's journey to recovery and their path to healing in their marriage.

From the deceptive nature of pornography's allure to the deep wounds inflicted, Pat and Kenna unpack the complexities and offer personal insights into navigating the aftermath. Together, they explore the transformative power of openness and healing, emphasizing the need for accountability, grace, and compassion in the face of addiction. This compelling episode addresses the profound effects of pornography on relationships and highlights the resilience and growth that can emerge from facing such challenges. Join Pat and Kenna as they courageously share their story, offering wisdom, hope, and guidance for all navigating similar struggles.

Please send us your questions and feedback to include for the next episode of this 2-part series on pornography! You can send us a message on Instagram or Facebook, or send us an email at [email protected].

Episode 34 Show Notes (Including all the great resources for overcoming pornography mentioned in the episode)

Chapters:
0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
11:53: When pornography is personal
20:33: Explaining this 2-part series & studies on porn
25:59: When did you know that porn was a problem?
37:08: Feeling a loss of worth & maintaining boundaries
45:00: What helped turn things around?
55:56: Getting past porn to the deeper wounds
1:00:45: Challenge By Choice

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

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Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"To attribute the efficacy of prayers or of sacramental signs to their mere external performance, apart from the interior dispositions that they demand, is to fall into superstition."
~ Catechism of the Catholic Church §2111

Let's face it: it's really scary to realize that we're not in control, and that's understandable. But grasping for control through superstition is, at best, fruitless and can even be mentally and spiritually harmful. From rabbit's feet and lucky coins to empty "religious" routines, superstitions are all around us.

In Episode 33, Pat Millea delves into the intriguing topic of superstition and its impact on our lives and faith. Joined by guest Fr. Nathan LaLiberte, they explore the dangers of relying on superstitious practices and the importance of giving God alone control in our lives. They examine the consequences of seeking control through superstitious beliefs and highlight the need to break free from these shackles, which can even constrain our otherwise good religious practices. From discussing the physical aspects of Catholicism to the connection between superstition and OCD, Pat and Fr. Nathan provide insight and a way forward in trust of God. Join us for this relatable and relevant conversation that we all need!

Chapters:
0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
13:59: What is superstition & what's wrong with it?
24:02: Examples of religious superstitions
34:00: The impact of superstition on mental health
44:24: Superstitions vs. Genuine virtue in faith
47:21: Challenge By Choice

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"I do not ask that you take them out of the world but that you keep them from the evil one. ... As you sent me into the world, so I sent them into the world."
~ John 17:15, 18

Let's face it: the fallen world around us is a difficult place to be. We, who desire a healthy and holy life, are surrounded by secular influences and misguided worldviews. What are we supposed to do? How do we stay sane and holy in a secular world? It can be tempting to either give in to the values of this world or run away from it altogether.

But the life and ministry of St. Paul offers us a middle path: engaging the secular as a means of leading others toward the sacred. In this episode, Pat & Kenna are joined by Fr. Nathan LaLiberte and Fr. Luke Marquard in Athens, Greece near the end of a pilgrimage in the footsteps of St. Paul. Together, they delve into the difficult - but invaluable - call to be leaven in the world and to reject fear. This has crucial and practical implications for us, our children, the Church, and the world. Be not afraid!

Chapters:
0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
12:11: The Sacred & the secular
23:44: The tradition of "baptizing" secular places & actions
30:29: Rejecting objective evil vs. a rigid dismissal of the secular
35:43: The value of prudence in making wise choices
45:37: Paul in Corinth & Titus on Crete
51:33: Challenge By Choice

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

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Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"We should strive to keep our hearts open to the sufferings and wretchedness of other people, and pray continually that God may grant us that spirit of compassion which is truly the spirit of God."
~ St. Vincent de Paul
 
➡️"Snowplow" parenting, friendship, or marriage
➡️Trying to fix other people's problems
➡️Over-functioning

We care so deeply for our loved ones, and it pains us to watch them struggle and suffer. Sometimes it is good and necessary to help alleviate their suffering. But all of us are tempted to cross the line into interfering in others' lives in order to assuage our own discomfort. But where is the line, and how is over-functioning harmful to people and relationships?

Using real-life examples and their unique perspectives as therapist, minister, and parents, Kenna and Pat discuss the dangers of "snowplowing" and the impact it can have on personal growth and relationships. They also reflect on the profound suffering endured by Jesus and his mother, and how their example can guide us in supporting our loved ones in the midst of their own struggles. Join us as we explore together the beautiful opportunity to sit with our loved ones in their hardship and, at the same time, offer them the gift of growth and resilience.

Chapters:
0:00: Intro & Highs and Hards
12:26: Introduction to overfunctioning
18:02: Overfunctioning is about MY discomfort, not my loved one’s
23:15: Examples of overfunctioning in film & Scripture
31:08: Mary as a witness of sitting with someone in the struggle
40:31: Challenge By Choice

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ."
~ Ephesians 4:31-32

On the wedding day, most couples can't imagine ever treating their spouse with contempt. But in this broken world, we know that so many marriages suffer with belittling speech and actions. How does a marriage devolve into habits of contempt, and what are the antidotes to get the relationship back on track?

Drawing from their own experiences and insights from relationship expert John Gottman, Kenna and Pat discuss the third - and most dangerous - of Dr. John Gottman's "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" for marriages: Contempt. They discuss the power of positive interactions, not only through words but also through body language and gestures of love and warmth. Reflecting on personal stories and Scripture, they shed light on the damaging effects of contempt and its connection to feelings of superiority and inadequacy. Tune in to discover practical tips and ideas for cultivating healthy, kind, and contempt-free relationships in this relatable and encouraging episode.

Episode 30 Show Notes

Chapters:
00:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
15:05: Understanding Contempt in relationships
22:41: How does contempt show up in marriages?
34:46: Contempt can be nonverbal
38:08: Antidote #1 to cure contempt
45:58: Antidote #2 to cure contempt
54:03: Challenge By Choice

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

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Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"As a body is one though it has many parts, and all the parts of the body, though many, are one body, so also Christ."
~ 1 Corinthians 12:12

You were made by our loving God to be an amazing human person - a beautiful integration of mind, body, and soul all working in dynamic harmony. But each of us who are fallen experience dis-integration, and the parts of us don't always exist in cohesive unity. We might think things like "Part of me wants to do this, but part of me doesn't", or "Why does a part of me seem to complicate things that should be simple?", or even "I hate that part of myself." How can we recover a sense of our True Self and move toward greater unity within ourselves?

This Whole Life welcomes guest Louisa Hall to delve into the fascinating world of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. Louisa shares her personal journey of understanding mental health and the significance of integrating different parts within one's internal system. She recounts her experiences with a friend diagnosed with bipolar disorder, the lack of mental health support in some ministry settings, and her own therapy journey. From True Self to Protectors to Exiles, Louisa explains the roles of various parts and the transformative power of IFS. Louisa and Kenna also highlight the crucial alignment between IFS and the Catholic understanding of the human person, while highlighting the importance of self-compassion, understanding, and finding one's true self. With anecdotes and insights, Louisa and Kenna explore the integration process, the impact of IFS on relationships, and the hope and flexibility it offers. Join them as they provide practical steps for you to understand and embrace your own interior world.

Louisa has a Bachelor of Science degree in psychology with an emphasis in experimental psychology from Minnesota State University, Mankato. Currently, Louisa is enrolled as a graduate student at Divine Mercy University seeking to obtain her Master’s in Science degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. She enjoys pondering new ideas and questions, reading books, creating, and spending time in nature. Louisa recognizes that faith, truth, and God’s mercy have influenced her journey of healing.

Episode 29 Show Notes

Chapters:
0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
13:04: Introducing Internal Family Systems
21:01: Integrating our parts like a jazz band (not multiple personalities)
34:40: How do we recognize our True Self?
41:40: Louisa's reflection & personal example of IFS parts work
53:30: Challenge By Choice

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness."
~ Pope Benedict XVI

We live in a world that often seems to be designed for our human comfort. We now have access to temperature-controlled homes, split-second mobile computers in our pockets, fast food, and delivery services. And as comedian Louis C.K. once said, "Everything is amazing right now, and nobody's happy."

Why do we find ease and comfort so enticing but, ultimately, so disappointing? Why do we so often chase pleasure after pleasure, never finding true fulfillment in the things of this world? Is there a higher call for us in this earthly pilgrimage? Pat & Kenna welcome Isaac Schmidt, a college student well acquainted with discomfort and difficulty, into the conversation to discuss the Christian call to heroic holiness rather than comfort. Step into the discussion and be prepared to reject mere comfort and to strive for greatness!

Isaac Schmidt is a student at the University of Mary in Bismarck, North Dakota studying business and construction management. He graduated from St. Agnes Catholic High School in 2022 and was honored with the Palm Award, the school's highest honor. Selected by the faculty, the award honors one young man and young woman from the senior class who have achieved excellence in virtually all areas: Faith, academics, activities, athletics, character, virtue, leadership, friendship, and service. Isaac is also an accomplished athlete, placing at the Minnesota high school state wrestling tournament, and he recently spent 9 weeks on a fishing boat off the coast of Alaska.

Chapters:
00:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
09:44: Introducing Isaac Schmidt
16:16: You were made for greatness, not comfort
23:23: Confronting the desire for comfort
30:43: Discomfort that leads to spiritual growth
34:36: Good mental health care isn’t downplaying discomfort & hardship, but learning how to move through it
40:03: Choosing good, uncomfortable things especially in human relationships
49:55: Challenge By Choice

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

“Soon we’ll have the intimate happiness of the family, and it’s this beauty that brings us closer to God.”
~ St. Louis Martin

The Terrible Twos. Three-nagers. A-Four-itarian. It's time to dive into the wild world of parenting toddlers (and kids of any age) with a blend of wisdom, humor, and relatability! Drawing from their own experiences as parents to a brood of seven children, ranging from 3 to 12 years old, Pat & Kenna share 10 valuable and hard-earned tips to help navigate the challenges that come with raising little ones.

From the struggle of saying "yes" to the importance of addressing underlying needs behind challenging behaviors, this episode offers practical advice on fostering connection, emotional regulation, and secure attachment. We'll also stress the importance of asking for help and identifying one area to focus on for progress in parenting.

With encouragement and authenticity, Kenna and Pat remind listeners that they are not alone on this journey and that small steps can lead to big changes in creating a joyful, connected, and fulfilling home.

Chapters:
0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
17:26: Intro to Parenting Toddlers
23:04: #1: Connection Before Correction
26:03: #2: Empathy, Empathy, Empathy
28:39: #3: Physically get on their level, Emotionally do NOT get on their level
31:26: #4: Prioritize things with your toddler that bring you JOY
34:02: #5: Ask questions instead of making assumptions
38:40: #6: Take a breath & take a break
41:53: #7: Behavior demonstrates a need
47:06: #8: Start with ONE thing
49:53: #9: How can I say yes?
53:06: #10: Ask for help
56:38: Challenge By Choice

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.