This Whole Life

“Soon we’ll have the intimate happiness of the family, and it’s this beauty that brings us closer to God.”
~ St. Louis Martin

The Terrible Twos. Three-nagers. A-Four-itarian. It's time to dive into the wild world of parenting toddlers (and kids of any age) with a blend of wisdom, humor, and relatability! Drawing from their own experiences as parents to a brood of seven children, ranging from 3 to 12 years old, Pat & Kenna share 10 valuable and hard-earned tips to help navigate the challenges that come with raising little ones.

From the struggle of saying "yes" to the importance of addressing underlying needs behind challenging behaviors, this episode offers practical advice on fostering connection, emotional regulation, and secure attachment. We'll also stress the importance of asking for help and identifying one area to focus on for progress in parenting.

With encouragement and authenticity, Kenna and Pat remind listeners that they are not alone on this journey and that small steps can lead to big changes in creating a joyful, connected, and fulfilling home.

Chapters:
0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
17:26: Intro to Parenting Toddlers
23:04: #1: Connection Before Correction
26:03: #2: Empathy, Empathy, Empathy
28:39: #3: Physically get on their level, Emotionally do NOT get on their level
31:26: #4: Prioritize things with your toddler that bring you JOY
34:02: #5: Ask questions instead of making assumptions
38:40: #6: Take a breath & take a break
41:53: #7: Behavior demonstrates a need
47:06: #8: Start with ONE thing
49:53: #9: How can I say yes?
53:06: #10: Ask for help
56:38: Challenge By Choice

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

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Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, and do not leave room for the devil."
~ Ephesians 4:26-27

ANGER. It's a word that brings up so many feelings and reactions for each of us. Some struggle to control their anger, and others are tempted to ignore or squash their angry feelings. How are we, as followers of Christ, supposed to understand anger? Is anger an emotion or a sin? Is it involuntary or can we learn to control it? Is there a way that we might even be able to bring good out of anger?

In this episode, Fr. Nathan LaLiberte joins Pat & Kenna to talk about a view of anger from a perspective of sound psychology and Catholic teaching. You'll come away with a better understanding of how to identify, communicate, and process anger in ways that can actually benefit our relationships with God and others.

Episode 26 Show Notes

Chapters:
0:00 Introduction and Highs & Hards
14:08: What is anger?
21:45: The power of anger to overcome evil
32:17: What do we with our anger?
42:07: Having empathy for my anger
47:23: Speaking on behalf of my anger
53:51: Challenge By Choice

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

“Man cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself.”
~ St. John Paul II

It sounds so simple: do good things that make me healthy, happy, & holy and avoid the things that stop me from thriving. But so often we feel like St. Paul: "For I do not do the good I want, but I do the evil I do not want" (Romans 7:19). How do we practically move toward greater wholeness in our thoughts and actions, and how do we make that journey in the context of a marriage?

Andy Norton joins This Whole Life to share a valuable tool that he and his wife developed called Integrated Pathfinding. Integrated Pathfinding is based on a therapeutic intervention called Behavioral Activation, which they adapted with a foundation of faith into a weekly process for the good of their marriage and family life.

If you have a desire to follow the Lord more consistently and to be more connected to your spouse in the process, you'll love this conversation and the resource it offers!

Be sure to check out the Episode 25 show notes for a pdf step-by-step guide to Integrated Pathfinding.

Andy Norton is a passionate and mission-driven Catholic man with a desire to foster wholeness and holiness in the lives of God's people. He worked in ministry for 14 years, including evangelization work with FOCUS and NET Ministries. Andy is a graduate of the Franciscan University of Steubenville with a Master's in Theology from the Augustine Institute. He now works as a Production Support Developer and lives in Eagan, Minnesota with his wife Sarah and their 4 children.

Chapters:
0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
15:22: Introducing Andy Norton
24:08: Context for Behavioral Activation
36:45: The value of Integrated Pathfinding
40:37: Marriage isn't about keeping score
46:18: Healthy boundaries in self-discovery
52:33: Shared meaning in the midst of conflict
56:47: Challenge By Choice & step-by-step Integrated Pathfinding

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"There is a great man who makes every man feel small. But the real great man is the man who makes every man feel great."
~ G.K. Chesterton

The relationship between men and mental health is a complicated one, and this is true for Christian men as well. For many social and personal reasons, men seek out mental health care and resources less often than women. And yet, the need for mental health care in men is becoming increasingly clear: men are 4x more likely than women to commit suicide (CDC). What does mental health look like for men, and why does it so often seem unnecessary or even threatening?

Pat sits down with guest Ben Baker, LMFT for a conversation that delves into the challenges that men face in balancing strength and vulnerability. They discuss the importance of having father figures and strong male brotherhood in building emotional intelligence, vulnerability, and resilience. They also share personal stories and examples of the importance of accepting challenges as a means of growth and development, while acknowledging the vital role that faith and prayer play in the process of maturity for a man. Join us, and share with a man who needs to hear this good news!

Ben Baker is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with the Martin Center for Integration. He has experience in working with families in crisis, men struggling with anger and relationships, people who have experienced trauma, and emerging adults. Ben has also worked extensively in pastoral settings with young men - teenagers and young adults. Ben lives in the St. Paul, MN area with his wife and two kids (with a third on the way!).

Chapters:
0:00: Introducing Ben Baker, LMFT
6:21: Highs & Hards
13:02: Healthy, holy masculinity
20:25: The recipe for authentic manhood
27:07: Why do men resist mental health care?
36:23: Christian manhood & reliance on God
46:16: Brotherhood is crucial
50:29: Practical steps to grow in masculinity
55:17: Challenge By Choice

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing."
~ John 15:5

In the midst of a fallen, chaotic, and frenetic world, we can feel pulled in many different directions. We might lose connection with our experience in the present moment and lack awareness of what's going on in our body, emotions, and soul. How can we regain a sense of connection to the present moment and remain rooted in the love of Christ?

Grounding is a valuable part of mental health. For the Christian, grounding is not a matter of emptying oneself of experiences or desires, but rather filling oneself with the presence of the Holy Spirit. How does grounding help our mental and spiritual wellness? What exercises and strategies can we use to stay grounded and fully present through Christ? Listen in as Pat & Kenna break down the value of staying grounded!

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

He got up, ate, and drank; then strengthened by that food, he walked forty days and forty nights to the mountain of God, Horeb.
~ 1 Kings 19:8

The idea of "self-care" can be confusing and even controversial - perhaps among Christians most of all. After all, aren't we meant to pour ourselves out in sacrificial love? To give of ourselves completely? On the surface, self-care would seem to contradict these core principles of faith and servanthood.

But if we are willing to face and embrace reality, we quickly run into our own limitations and finite resources as humans. In the course of our particular vocations and missions, we become exhausted - physically, emotionally, mentally, even spiritually. In moments like these, how can we take care of ourselves and truly re-create with God's help?

No matter your age or state in life, you'll find great value and practical application from this conversation. Be blessed and take care of your self!

Episode 22 Show Notes

Chapters:
0:00 Introduction
2:50: Highs & Hards
14:43: Is self-care a new thing?
20:34: Meeting our natural needs so our spirituality can thrive
27:01: The true purpose of self-care
34:50: Examples of self-care habits
39:45: Reclaiming holy self-care
49:35: Encouraging others in self-care
1:01:13: Challenge By Choice

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"His divine power has given us everything needed for life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and excellence."
~ 2 Peter 1:3

With a greater understanding of mental health in recent years, many have become aware of the benefits of therapy in general. But how does someone know if therapy is right for them - individually or for their marriage? Especially for a person who believes that Jesus Christ is their hope and their source, how should they view and approach therapy?

We welcome Vonda Tiede, LMFT into an honest conversation to discover the purpose of therapy as a resource for greater life and wholeness. You'll get a unique glimpse into the mind of a therapist, not to mention some on-the-spot, unrehearsed thoughts from Pat (the only non-therapist in the conversation) about the challenging yet fruitful realities of going to therapy. 

Vonda Tiede is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who cares about mental health and ministry. Her office is in Maple Grove, MN where she sees individuals, couples and families. Her professional education includes degrees from Crown College, the University of Minnesota and St. Mary's University. Her favorite days include her family, life group and friends, holding space for clients, cooking, garage sale hunting, singing and playing piano, spreadsheets, designing spaces, bonfires, and board games.

Chapters
0:00: Introduction
5:03: Highs & Hards
14:53: Lightning Round: Inside a therapist's mind
22:05: How do I know if I need therapy?
29:33: Why would a Christian need therapy if they have Jesus?
36:33: Should a Christian only go to a Christian therapist?
44:44: What should someone look for in a therapist? What are the red flags?
51:32: Pat's honest thoughts about therapy 😅
57:06: Challenge By Choice

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"Therefore, we are not discouraged; rather, although our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison..."
~ 2 Corinthians 4:16-17

The last 50 years have seen incredible development in neurobiology and our understanding of the human brain. Yet we, as people of faith, know that humans are so much more than just a "brain in a body"; in fact, we are a deep and mysterious unity of mind, body, soul, brain, and even our relationships. How can we better know ourselves and our place in God's plan by better understanding our brains?

Join this fascinating conversation with Sofia Carozza, a neuroscientist and theologian. Pat & Sofia discuss mental health and healing, especially with regards to childhood adversity (experiences of violence, neglect, poverty, serious illness, etc.). These difficult circumstances in childhood can affect the very structures of our brain, but one's path is not determined by those experiences; rather, we can know healing and restoration through profoundly simple means like healthy relationships grounded on love!

Sofia Carozza is a Marshall Scholar at the University of Cambridge, where she is completing a PhD at the MRC Cognition and Brain Sciences Unit. In her research, she is seeking to understand how early experiences of adversity shape the biological and psychological development of children. Sofia completed undergraduate studies in neuroscience and theology at the University of Notre Dame where she was the valedictorian of the Class of 2019, and she has an MPhil in basic and translational neuroscience from the University of Cambridge. Sofia is also the co-host of The Pilgrim Soul, an engaging and insightful podcast.

Chapters
0:00: Introduction
3:27: Highs & Hards
8:42: Formational experiences of mental illness & healing
17:30: The call to understanding Adverse Childhood Experiences
22:58: Choosing faith over cynicism in the face of suffering
26:21: Research on childhood adversity & neurobiology
37:15: Adaptability & neuroplasticity
47:58: Approaching suffering with healing & hope
52:41: Challenge By Choice

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

This saying is trustworthy:
If we have died with him we shall also live with him;
if we persevere we shall also reign with him.
~ 2 Timothy 2:11-12

Happy Resurrection from our family to yours! He is risen! Alleluia!

The Sacred Triduum and the Easter season are some of the most significant days of the liturgical year and of our lives. There is so much beauty, solemnity, sorrow, and triumphant joy in the symbols, rituals, and traditions of this holy time. And while the passion, death, and Resurrection of our Lord obviously point toward our ultimate destiny in His heavenly kingdom, they also carry great power to help us grow in sanity and be more rooted to reality.

We're excited to celebrate the joy of the Resurrection with you (no matter what time of year it is!) and to share some reflections on the meaning of the cross and the empty tomb in our minds and hearts. May you be led ever deeper into the hope and joy that Jesus offers in his victorious Resurrection!

Chapters
0:00: Intro
3:02: Highs & hards
13:50: Sanity & sanctity in the Sacred Triduum & Easter
24:08: The power & victory of Christ’s love
33:06: Challenge By Choice

Check out our Resurrection playlist on Spotify
And just for fun, Pat's masterfully curated playlist of 90s & 2000s Country

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"...but speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ..."
~ Ephesians 4:15

We return to Dr. John Gottman's "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" for marriages with a conversation about Stonewalling. In the course of every marriage, there are times that our emotions feel overwhelming. One response to that experience can be to shut down, disengage, and cut off communication from our spouse - this is what Gottmann calls "stonewalling," and it can be very damaging for a loving marriage.

In this episode, we take a moment to define and describe stonewalling, the ways that it negatively impacts a marriage, and (most importantly) the antidote to overcome stonewalling and to restore healthy communication into marriage. Whether you've been married for one year or 50 years, these are skills that can help you and your spouse to become "masters of marriage"!

Episode 18 Show Notes

Check out Nate Bargatze's website 😂
(Clip from Nate's special The Tennessee Kid used with permission)

Time stamps
0:00: Intro
8:10: Highs & hards
16:23: The Four Horseman part 2: Stonewalling
20:00: Stonewalling  ≠ silent treatment (with a hilarious commentary)
23:49: Defining stonewalling
33:52: Biblical examples of stonewalling
37:45: The antidote to stonewalling: physiological self-soothing
47:30: Challenge By Choice & wrap-up

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.