This Whole Life

"The Christian faith does not destroy culture, but purifies and uplifts it. It takes away nothing of genuine value from a society or nation, but strengthens whatever is good for the betterment of all."
~ St. John Paul II

What does it mean to live a beautiful life?
How can I create a Catholic culture in my own life, family, school, or work?
Should I be aiming to create a utopia on earth?

In this insightful episode of This Whole Life, hosts Pat and Kenna sit down with Monsignor James Shea, president of the University of Mary, to explore the deep connection between faith, mental health, and the quest for true integration in everyday life. Monsignor Shea shares personal stories of loss and leadership, reflecting on building an authentic Catholic culture in diverse communities, the challenges and joys of forming young minds, and why embracing imperfections leads us closer to wholeness. The conversation dives into the meaning of integration—both personally and institutionally—and touches on how fragmented lives can be healed through Christ with humility and a spirit of self-giving. With practical encouragement and wisdom, this episode inspires listeners to find beauty, purpose, and unity in the messiness of real life. Perfect for anyone seeking both sanity and sanctity as they walk the journey of faith.

Monsignor James Shea became the sixth president of the University of Mary in 2009. Monsignor Shea grew up on a dairy farm in Hazelton, North Dakota, and has studied at the Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C., the Vatican’s North American College, the University of Chicago, and Harvard.

Episode 85 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
15:22: What does integration mean?
25:53: Creating Catholic culture
40:03: Building a common vision, not a "utopia"
48:29: Msgr. Shea's book recommendation
53:15: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. How do you see the connection between integrity and beauty in your own life?
3. When have you experienced fragmentation or compartmentalization, and how did they stop you from living a fully authentic life?
4. How do you create habits to be fully integrated internally and with others?
5. How can we balance the pursuit of excellence and integration without falling into the trap of perfectionism or utopian thinking?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

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Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"Each family finds within itself a summons that cannot be ignored, and that specifies both its dignity and its responsibility: family, become what you are."
~ St. John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio, §17

How do I acknowledge and communicate my sexual desires & needs?
What do I do when my expectations about sex in marriage are unmet?
Is it possible to keep the spark alive while practicing NFP?

In episode 84, Pat and Kenna welcome Monica & Renzo Ortega for the final installment of their “Holy Sex” series. Together, they dive into the nitty-gritty realities of sex, intimacy, and marriage from a faith-filled, honest perspective. The conversation explores expectations versus reality, navigating communication, vulnerability, and the unique challenges of practicing NFP, whether trying to achieve or avoid pregnancy. The Ortegas share personal stories and offer compassionate advice for couples wrestling with unmet expectations, shame, or the need for deeper connection. This episode is rich with practical wisdom, laughter, and encouragement, inviting couples to have those hard-but-holy conversations and rediscover the gift of authentic intimacy in marriage.

Renzo & Monica Ortega have been married since 2012 and have 5 kids. They facilitate youth and marriage prep ministry for their home parish and they love to talk about all things marriage and family life on their podcast: Two Become Family. They've also co-authored a book entitled Lovemaking: How to talk about sex with your spouse (a guide for everyday Catholics).

Episode 84 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
13:50: A faithful & practical approach to sex
19:39: Expectations vs. Reality in sex
32:06: Challenges with NFP when trying to become pregnant
42:56: What about sex when you're using to NFP to rightly avoid pregnancy?
53:13: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. If you're married, what were your expectations around sex before marriage? How have the played out so far?
3. How has your background or upbringing shaped your views on sex, and how have those views influenced your relationship?
4. How has striving for chastity within marriage challenged or changed your understanding of love and self-gift?
5. What’s one “hard conversation” about intimacy, fertility, or expectations that you’ve been avoiding with your spouse? How might you create space for that discussion?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"Love should be seen as something which in a sense never ‘is’ but is always only ‘becoming’, and what it becomes depends up on the contribution of both persons and the depth of their commitment.”
~ Karol Wojtyła

Why doesn't arousal come as easily as we expected?
How do we make opportunities for intimacy when life is so busy?
How can I have honest conversations with my spouse about arousal and our sex life?

In Episode 83 of This Whole Life, Pat & Kenna are joined by guest Trisha McKeever, LMFT for Part 2 of the "Holy Sex" series, focusing on arousal within marriage. With honesty, humor, and vulnerability, they explore the real-life intricacies of intimacy, including the challenges of noticing, naming, and cultivating arousal amidst the busyness of family life. The conversation breaks down common myths around arousal, embracing the idea that self-awareness and willingness play key roles in developing a healthy sexual relationship. Drawing from clinical practice and Christian principles, they discuss practical steps couples can take to recognize and communicate their needs, address internal and external “blocks,” and honor each other’s differences — whether you’re a “rocket” or an “airplane.” Tune in for relatable stories, expert insights, and actionable advice that will encourage couples to integrate faith, emotional awareness, and authentic connection in the bedroom and beyond.

Trisha McKeever is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Minnesota and has been in private practice for 10 years. She is passionate about incorporating her own Christian beliefs and her perspective as a believer into the healing work that she does with her clients. Trisha also brings the wisdom of 19 years of marriage, and she is the mother of three children.

Episode 83 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
15:01: What does arousal really mean?
24:37: Choosing arousal & openness
30:33: When the brakes get engaged
37:51: Communicating about arousal with my spouse
46:32: Gender differences in arousal & readiness
56:00: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. How do you define “arousal” in the context of your own marriage or relationship?
3. What are some “blocks” or “brakes” that you have experienced in your sexual relationship? How might you begin to address them?
4. Can you think of a time when a small “yes” led to greater intimacy or connection?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"I belong to my lover, and my lover belongs to me; he feeds among the lilies."
~ Song of Solomon 6:3

Why isn't my sex life going the way I hoped it would?
How do I talk to my spouse about sex after we've gotten into ruts?
Is it possible to have more sex and better sex in our marriage?

In Episode 82 of This Whole Life, Kenna is joined by Vonda Tiede, LMFT and Daniel Merboth to kick off a powerful three-part series on “Holy Sex” in marriage. Together, they dig deep into the “good news” about sex from a faith-filled, psychologically-informed perspective. Through candid conversations, the trio explores the prevalent myths and cultural lies surrounding sex, the harms of "obligation sex", and the importance of mutuality, communication, and healing within intimacy. They highlight how a couple’s sexual relationship reflects God’s creative genius and the need for curiosity and grace—not shame or rigid expectations. With personal stories, practical insights, and a compassionate challenge for listeners to reimagine intimacy, this episode offers hope, encouragement, and a fresh perspective on cultivating joy and connection in marriage. Whether you’re newly married, have been married for years, or want to better support holy marriages, this episode invites you to approach sexuality as a sacred gift of love.

Vonda Tiede is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in private practice in Minnesota. Vonda lives outside the Twin Cities of Minnesota with her husband, and together they have 6 children.

Daniel Merboth is currently pursuing a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy degree at the University of Wisconsin-Stout. Daniel lives in Minnesota with his wife and two children.

Episode 82 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
15:17: Falsehood about sex in marriage
26:21: The consequences of "obligation sex"
34:45: Moving from obligation sex to open communication
45:17: It's not just about an orgasm
1:01:50: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. When and how did you learn to communicate about sex? What were you taught about conversations involving sex?
3. What falsehoods and obstacles keep spouses from being joyfully connected in their sex life?
4. What "great news" about sex did you draw from this episode?
5. How can you move toward greater connection and closeness in your emotional and sexual relationships with your spouse?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"For freedom Christ set us free; so stand firm and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery."
~ Galatians 5:1

What if I didn't sign up for the life I have?
What does my life feel so out of control?
Why do I feel trapped in the life I'm leading?

In Episode 81 of This Whole Life, hosts Pat & Kenna Millea dive deep into what it really means to take control of your life — especially when things aren't going the way you thought they would. This episode explores the broader theme of agency: why so many people feel stuck in passive roles and how modern life — through technology, cultural pressures, and even spiritual ideals — can erode our sense of freedom. Packed with personal stories and practical wisdom, Pat and Kenna explore real strategies for reclaiming healthy agency, embracing flexibility, and living an integrated life in faith and mental health. 

This episode also offers some raw reflections on the tragic shooting at Annunciation Catholic School in Minneapolis, as well as highlights of their new Figuring It Out course for those seeking meaningful change. Because truly, freedom and agency are especially important when things don't go the way we planned. Join us for this heartfelt and honest conversation.

Episode 81 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Reflection on the tragedy at Annunciation
21:27: Why is agency, or free will, indispensable?
28:41: What causes a lack of agency?
36:36: What does it look like to live with freedom?
49:42: "I have to" & "I should" vs. Choosing
52:48: Announcing the "Figuring It Out" live course
55:30: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. Are there areas of life in which you feel trapped? How do you know?
3. What does it look like to live in healthy freedom? When have you lived in healthy freedom?
4. Are there things in your life that you feel like you "have to" or "should" do instead of actively choosing? What could you do differently?
5. How can you choose to engage with your life in a way that lines up with your values?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"A mild answer turns back wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
~ Proverbs 15:1

Is it possible to fight fair?
How can someone who hates conflict approach it better?
How do you turn conflict into connection? 

In this episode of This Whole Life, Pat and Kenna Millea dive deep into the heart of fighting well with the "Four Cs of Conflict." Drawing from real-life family stories, faith, and the practical tools of therapy, they lay out a step-by-step process to approach disagreements in healthier, more meaningful ways. You'll learn how to calm yourself, connect within before reaching out, recommit to the relationship—even in the heat of the moment—and finally address the real issues at hand. Whether it’s a kitchen squabble, challenges in marriage, or tough moments with friends, Pat and Kenna’s blend of humor and vulnerability offer hope and practical wisdom. Plus, they share their favorite “conflict hacks,” and recap why honest conflict can actually draw us closer. Tune in for encouragement, laughs, and a fresh approach to living faith and mental health in everyday difficulties.

Episode 80 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
13:48: Practical approach to conflict
18:00: Is comfort with conflict built in or learned?
21:30: C #1: Calm
26:33: C #2: Connect
30:14: C #3: (re)Commit
37:58: C #4: Content
45:47: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. What is your usual approach to conflict? How does it serve you well, and how does it challenge your relationships?
3. Have you experienced moments of conflict bringing your closer to someone? What made the difference?
4. Which of the 4 C's stands out to you? Which C is something you need to work on?
5. What phrase will you use to recommit to moments of conflict in a way that communicates your desire for connection?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

“For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received a spirit of adoption, through which we cry, ‘Abba, Father!’”
~ Romans 8:15

Why are so many fathers struggling?
Is it possible for fathers to live peaceful lives today?
How can a man change the world through his identity as a father?

In episode 79 of This Whole Life, Pat Millea sits down with Devin Schadt, founder and executive director of the Fathers of St. Joseph, to dive deep into the challenges and opportunities of Catholic fatherhood. Devin shares his personal journey, including a life-changing experience after his daughter’s health crisis that propelled him to embrace his vocation as a husband and father. The conversation covers topics such as the crisis of fatherhood, overcoming shame, the loneliness men often face, and the power of transformative relationships. Pat and Devin discuss the profound influence fathers have on families, the unique spirituality of St. Joseph, and practical steps men can take to become trustworthy fathers by first becoming trusting sons of God the Father. Fathers - and the people who love them - will walk away with inspiration, practical advice, and a renewed vision for integrating faith, mental health, and the incredible gift of fatherhood.

Devin Schadt is the executive director of the Fathers of St. Joseph, an apostolate that labors for the restoration, redemption, and revitalization of fatherhood. He is the author of over 20 books on fatherhood through the wisdom of St. Joseph, including The Rule: Counsels and Directives for Husbands and Fathers and Custos: Total Consecration Through Saint Joseph. He is a co-host of The Catholic Gentleman podcast. Devin has been married for 30 years and has five daughters, and lives in Iowa.

Episode 79 Show Notes

The Fathers of St. Joseph

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
12:09: Today's fatherhood crisis & opportunity
21:10: The centrality of relationships for fathers
25:55: Why the mission of fatherhood?
35:11: St. Joseph, model of sanity & sanctity
44:21: Overcoming the cycle of shame
52:18: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. How have your experiences with your own father, or your relationship with God the Father, influenced your approach to parenthood or relationships?
3. What are the threats that face fathers today? What are the opportunities for them to impact the world for good?
4. What are some practical steps that fathers and communities can take to combat male loneliness and foster deeper connections among men?
5. How is St. Joseph a truly practical witness of sanity and sanctity in fatherhood?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"Love should be seen as something which in a sense never ‘is’ but is always only ‘becoming’, and what it becomes depends upon the contribution of both persons and the depth of their commitment.”
~ St. John Paul II

In episode 78 of This Whole Life, hosts Kenna and Pat Millea welcome Dr. Mario Sacasa, a seasoned marriage and family therapist and host of the Always Hope podcast, for an honest and hope-filled conversation about dating well—both before and after marriage. Together, they explore the true purpose of dating, how couples can continue to date within marriage, and the vital role of curiosity, play, and intentional communication as relationships evolve. Dr. Sacasa shares real-world wisdom on navigating the current dating landscape, avoiding common pitfalls, and building healthy relational patterns that last. The hosts also get personal about the challenges and joys in their own families, offering a blend of practical advice and relatable stories. Don’t miss the candid post-show chat, where more authentic, practical insights emerge about integrating faith, mental health, and investing in love for the long haul.

Mario Sacasa, Ph.D. is a licensed marriage and family therapist and has been in practice for over 15 years. Dr. Sacasa is the host of Always Hope, a podcast providing solutions to life’s challenges that are grounded in faith and psychology. He travels the country offering lectures on dating, marriage, sexuality, and the misunderstood virtue of hope. He is the creator of two online courses: Dating Well, which helps young adults navigate the modern dating scene, and Overcoming Stress and Anxiety, which offers clear guidance for beating stress in life. Dr. Sacasa is married to his wife of 22 years, Kristin, with whom he shares the joy parenting their four sons.  

Episode 78 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
15:57: What's the point of dating?
27:10: The common mistakes of dating
40:04: Mentally healthy dating
50:32: Warning signs for departing from dating
59:15: Challenge By Choice
1:05:42: The after-show!

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. What has your experience been with dating? What are the blessings and challenges you've known?
3. How is dating different today than it was 20 years ago? What are the specific hardships and opportunities right now?
4. What makes dating difficult after a couple is married? How can they overcome those difficulties?
5. What do you need to focus on in your dating life right now? What changes will you make?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

“This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
~ John 13:35

Am I really "pro-life"?
How does loving others impact my mental & spiritual health?
How am I supposed to treat the people who are hard to love?

In Episode 77 of This Whole Life, Pat Millea welcomes Fr. Nathan LaLiberte for a powerful conversation about living out the pro-life message in our daily interactions and relationships. Together, they go beyond the usual political rhetoric, exploring how being truly pro-life means acknowledging the dignity of every person—from the unborn and marginalized to the neighbor or cashier we encounter each day. Drawing on scripture, personal stories, and concepts from psychology, they discuss the challenges of loving those we might find difficult and the importance of moving past disgust and division. You'll hear thought-provoking reflections on boundaries, cancel culture, authentic Christian love, and the everyday choices that build a culture of life. Join this heartfelt and inspiring call for radical, incarnational pro-life living.

Episode 77 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
8:55: The sanity of being fully pro-life
15:40: The anti-humanity of cancel culture
22:03: Being pro-life, not "pro-birth"
31:45: Refusing to turn away from a person
38:08: The temptations to villainize people & groups
45:05: Meditation on others' dignity & human solidarity
55:49: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. Father Nathan discusses the tendency to see “pro-life” purely through the lens of abortion. In what ways can a pro-life ethic broaden to include other aspects of human dignity and social justice?
3. What are practical ways, big or small, that you can affirm someone’s dignity on a daily basis, even if you don’t agree with them or find it inconvenient?
4. How do you navigate loving and maintaining relationships with people who hold vastly different beliefs or values than you?
5. The episode often returns to the idea that being fully pro-life requires acting with intentional love. What does that look like for you, especially in small, everyday encounters?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

“See, I am sending you out like sheep into the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves."
~ Matthew 10:16

Is there any way to make parenting less stressful?
What can I do to make our life less chaotic?
How can our family be a little more sane & connected?

Let's face it - parenting in the 21st century is not for the faint of heart. In episode 76 of This Whole Life, Kenna and Pat dive into their top 10 parenting hacks, offering real-life tips for bringing sanity and sanctity to family life. From the “Team Millea" mentality that fosters solidarity to practical routines like weekly family meetings and consistent chore delegation, Kenna and Pat share what actually works for their family of nine. They also discuss navigating finances, the art of doing tomorrow’s prep today, embracing their village, and the power of letting go of comparison. Whether you have one child or many, this episode is packed with hope, encouragement, and actionable tools to help you parent with intention in today’s chaotic world.

Episode 76 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
7:56: Parenting hacks & why we don't identify our kids
10:49: Hack #1: The "Team Millea" Mentality
14:44: Hack #2: Weekly Family Meetings
18:39: Hack #3: Chores for Everyone!
24:48: Hack #4: One-on-One Time
28:55: Hack #5: Do your "tomorrow self" a favor today
32:53: Hack #6: It takes a village
34:57: Hack #7: Get clever about finances
41:08: Hack #8: Being shrewd about food
44:10: Hack #9: Double (or triple/quadruple) dip on activites
46:16: Hack #10: If it doesn't work for you, *Let it go!*
49:27: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. What are the things that cause stress, chaos, disagreements, and anxiety in your family?
3. What is one of these "hacks"/suggestions that might help your family function with more joy and peace?
4. What is your vision for parenting & family life?
5. How are your day to day efforts moving toward that vision? How are they moving you away from that vision?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.