This Whole Life

"Do you not know that the runners in the stadium all run in the race, but only one wins the prize? Run so as to win."
~ 1 Corinthians 9:24

Are youth sports helping or hurting our kids?
Can sports be a healthy way of honoring God?
How can my children and I stay grounded in the midst of their sports?

In Episode 75 of This Whole Life, hosts Pat and Kenna sit down with Super Bowl champion Matt Birk for a lively, honest, and heartfelt conversation about the realities of youth sports today. From hilarious football stories to hard-fought lessons on resilience and parenting, Matt shares his journey as both an elite athlete and a dad navigating the pressures of today’s competitive youth sports culture. Together, they explore the joys and challenges of childhood athletics, the growing professionalization of youth sports, and the importance of keeping play fun and rooted in faith. Whether you’re a parent on the sidelines, a coach, or just a fan of sports and good conversations, this episode is full of wisdom, practical advice, and perspective on how sports can help shape not just athletes, but healthy, resilient human beings—mind, body, and soul.

Matt Birk is a CEO, a fifteen year NFL veteran, and a Super Bowl champion. He played college football at Harvard and graduated with a degree in economics before going on to be drafted by the Minnesota Vikings in 1998. He played for the Vikings for eleven years and then for the Baltimore Ravens for four years, where he won Super Bowl XLVII. Matt was named the NFL's Walter Payton Man of the Year in 2011 for his accomplishments on and off the field. Since retiring from the NFL in 2013, Matt has been a vocal pro life advocate, he has cofounded a Catholic high school, and authored a book called All Pro Wisdom. He and his wife have eight children.

Episode 75 Show Notes

Find out more about Matt Birk's work and speaking

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
11:45: True stories from an NFL veteran
18:57: The mental challenge of sports
28:22: Faith, sports psychology, and resilience
36:30: The current state of youth sports
45:06: The harms of professionalization and specialization
53:18: Best practices for sports parents
1:05:04: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. What have your experiences with sports been?
3. What are the benefits of youth sports? What are the dangers?
4. Why is it so tempting for parents to attach their identity to kids' sports?

Support the show

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Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

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Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone."
~ Matthew 18:15

Why do I get caught in the middle of arguments in my family?
Why is it so tempting to bring someone else into a tense situation?
How do I break the cycle of being brought into triangles among my family & friends?

In Episode 74 of This Whole Life, Kenna Millea welcomes Ben Baker, LMFT and Addy Diaz for a lively Relationship Roundtable all about “triangulation”—that sneaky dynamic that can pop up in families, friendships, and work relationships alike. The team breaks down what triangulation actually is (spoiler: it’s more common—and human—than you think), how to spot it in real life, and why we’re all tempted to avoid tension by pulling in a third person, habit, or even technology. With honest stories, practical metaphors (think wobbly tables and silent dinners), and plenty of humor, they explore how triangles can sometimes stabilize a relationship—but also block the deeper connection we’re really seeking. Tune in for relatable insights, gentle challenges, and actionable tips on how to recognize, understand, and break out of unhealthy triangles for healthier, more authentic relationships.

Episode 74 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and becoming a therapist
8:32: What is triangulation?
19:48: Triangles are stabilizing - even harmful ones
26:23: How do we recognize triangulation?
33:21: What causes triangles?
44:47: How do I get out of a triangle?
52:55: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. When have you been brought into a triangle? When have you triangulated someone or something else?
3. How does it feel when you've been dragged into a triangle? Why does it feel that way?
4. Why are triangles so stabilizing? When are they healthy and unhealthy?
5. When are you most tempted to triangulate others? How can you get out of triangles when they happen?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

Jesus said to him, “What if I want him to remain until I come? What concern is it of yours? You follow me.”
~ John 21:22

Why do I get so angry at others' opinions & actions?
How am I supposed to handle the evil & falsehood in the world?
Why is it easier for me to explain what I'm against than what I'm for?

In episode 73 of This Whole Life, hosts Kenna and Pat Millea welcome back Fr. Nathan LaLiberte for a candid conversation about identity, vulnerability, and the subtle trap of living in antithesis—defining ourselves primarily by what we’re against. Together, they explore how easy it is to move through life reacting to what we don’t like or want, rather than proactively following Christ’s invitation to an authentic identity rooted in his love. With honesty and a good dose of humor, the trio reflects on the pitfalls of fear-based living, the grace of following Christ, and the challenge of forging deeper relationships built on shared pursuits rather than shared enemies. From the temptations of social media outrage and cable news to the deeper work of self-reflection and forgiveness, this episode invites listeners to consider what truly forms their identity—and how to embrace a more Christ-centered, joyful life.

Episode 73 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
16:24: Don't be an antithesis
26:34: The temptations & evils of resentment
33:07: Recognizing antithesis in my own life
42:32: Where am I putting my energy?
51:53: The personal invitation to follow Jesus
54:19: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. Is it easier for you to be against things or for Christ?
3. How do media, especially social media, affect your opinions and reactions to others?
4. When have you vowed to "never" be like someone or do something? How did that impact the way that you approached daily life?
5. How can you take practical steps to living for Christ and allowing him to guide your responses to the sins & shortcomings of the world?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
~ 1 Corinthians 13:7

Why do I get so hurt by others' actions?
Why is it so hard for me to let things slide?
How can I give people close to me the benefit of the doubt?

In episode 72 of This Whole Life, Kenna and Pat dive into the concept of Positive Sentiment Override, a game-changing mindset for building stronger, more joyful relationships. Kicking things off with some spirited candy rankings for the Easter season, the duo opens with laughter before turning to the more serious - but deeply practical - work of cultivating a positive lens in daily interactions with loved ones. Together, they break down Dr. John Gottman’s research on how seeing the best in others impacts not only our relationships but our own mental health. Together, they share real-life scenarios of how our internal narratives can shape the atmosphere in our homes, grounded in both faith and psychology. Whether you’re looking for ways to make your domestic church into a greater sanctuary or wanting to shake off negativity in your marriage, family, or friendships, this episode is packed with relatable stories, actionable takeaways, and faith-filled encouragement.

Episode 72 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction, Candy Rankings, and Highs & Hards
18:09: What is Positive Sentiment Override?
27:40: What if they're truly doing something wrong?
32:28: How do I know I'm in Negative Sentiment Override?
43:39: Practical situations
50:56: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. When have you enjoyed positive sentiment override with others? When have you been stuck in negative sentiment override?
3. How do you know when you're in a negative space with a loved one? What are the signs?
4. How do you break out of negative sentiment override and think more positively of your loved ones?
5. Why is it so hard to give the people closest to us the benefit of the doubt? What can you do to extend that grace to them?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"...we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us."
~ Romans 5:3-5

How are Christians supposed to respond to suffering?
How do I know if I'm suffering well?
How do I know whether I should avoid or accept a specific kind of suffering?

In episode 71 of This Whole Life, hosts Kenna and Pat Millea are joined by their good friend, Fr. Nathan LaLiberte, to delve into the complex topic of suffering from both a faith-based and psychological perspective. They explore the idea that suffering is not just to be avoided but can be a path to personal growth, connection with God, and redemption. Fr. Nathan shares insights from his experience and studies, highlighting how pain can signal areas for growth and conversion. The conversation is grounded on the Christian ethos of finding purpose in suffering, and includes sound psychological principles like those of Alfred Adler and Viktor Frankl. They also discuss the Fruits of the Holy Spirit and the virtue of prudence as essential tools in discernment, helping listeners navigate when to accept suffering and when to seek change. Join them for a thought-provoking exploration of suffering in the pursuit of sanity and sanctity.

Episode 71 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
13:42: The meaning of suffering
21:24: What kind of a God allows suffering?
25:38: There is no growth or change without pain
35:16: Do I accept this suffering or ask for help?
45:07: The example of Chiara Corbella Petrillo
50:37: Challenge By Choice

Reflections Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. When have you experienced suffering in your life? What was that like for you?
3. Has your suffering helped you to know Jesus better or has it challenged your faith?
4. How has hardship helped you to grow, become stronger, and experience conversion?
5. How do you discern whether to accept suffering in faith or to seek out resources to diminish the suffering?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

“Man becomes an image of God not so much in the moment of solitude as in the moment of communion.”
~ St. John Paul II

How do men connect with others?
What makes it hard for men to have strong marriages & friendships?
What can a man do to create healthier connections with others?

This special episode of This Whole Life is the first "Relationship Roundtable," tackling issues related to human connection and struggles in relationships. Pat Millea is joined by an outstanding panel of guests, including Ben Baker, John Braun, and Andy Norton, who dive into the vital topic of men's relational health. They explore what it looks like when men are truly connected with others—be it their wives, parents, children, friends, or coworkers. The episode unpacks the dynamics of honor, vulnerability, self-reliance, and the often-complicated nature of friendships. From pop culture references to real-life anecdotes, the conversation reveals both the strengths and pitfalls that men often face in relationships. Each guest offers insights from their own experiences, linking them to mental health and the Christian life. With practical steps and spiritual encouragement, they challenge men to take bold steps toward deeper and healthier connections. 

Whether you're a man seeking to improve your relationships or someone who loves one, this episode offers valuable perspectives and encouragement.

Episode 70 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Intro & positive & negative examples of men connecting with others
18:22: When men are in healthy relationship with others
25:30: Self-reliance, withdrawing, & struggles for men in relationships
29:58: The cycle of shame in men
38:21: Relationship goals & reaching out for connection
45:41: Practical ways for men to foster healthy relationships
58:02: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. When men are in healthy relationships, what are they doing well?
3. When men are struggling to be connected to others, what are the pitfalls or temptations?
4. How can men have strong, connected relationships while maintaining a sense of personal competence and strength?
5. Men: How can you reach out to someone for greater connection? Women: How can you support the men in your life with their relationships?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept."
~ Henri Nouwen

Why is it so hard to listen well to others?
Why am I so pained when others don't listen to me?
Can I become a better & more active listener?

In this episode of This Whole Life, Pat and Kenna welcome guest Addy Diaz to explore the art of active listening. Delving into how active listening fosters deeper connections and empathy, Addy shares insights from her experience in clinical counseling and ministry. The discussion highlights the importance of being present and attentive to others' stories, avoiding common pitfalls like bringing conversations back to oneself or offering unsolicited advice. Addy discusses practical "Dos" and "Don'ts", such as eliminating distractions and reflecting feelings and posture, to enhance one's listening skills and connection to others. Through engaging anecdotes and relatable scenarios, this episode emphasizes the transformative power of truly hearing others and provides listeners with tools to become better listeners.

Addy Diaz is a Masters Level Clinician seeking advanced licensure as a Licensed Practicing Clinical Counselor. Addy holds a Master of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from the University of Mary in Bismarck, ND. She received her undergraduate degree in Communications from Northern State University in Aberdeen, SD. Addy is passionate about integrating the truths of the Christian faith and the realities of mental health for a holistic understanding of the person. In her free time, she enjoys spending time with friends, brewing kombucha, gardening, and playing music. 

Episode 69 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
15:28: The transformative power of active listening
24:07: Embracing the levels of personhood
32:36: Listening communicates worth
40:36: Resisting the temptation to minimize
45:43: Advice & Criticism
53:34: Receiving, not educating
57:39: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. On a scale from 1-10, how skilled are you at active listening? Have you become better or worse over time?
3. When have you had an experience of being heard well and with love? What did that mean to you?
4. What is hard about active listening in your relationships? What are the temptations or distractions?
5. What is one way you will work to become a better listener?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"What we can be always sure of - no matter what is happening in our lives - is that we are not alone. You are not alone! God knows your suffering intimately and wants to walk with you through it."
~ Bishop James Conley

How should a Christian respond to a mental health crisis?
Do priests & bishops know what it's like to struggle with their mental health?
Is it worth it to be open & honest about my struggles?

In this beautifully personal episode, Kenna and Pat are joined by Bishop James Conley, who candidly shares his personal journey through mental health struggles and his path to recovery and wholeness. Bishop Conley opens up about the challenges he faced, including situational PTSD, anxiety, and major depressive disorder, and the transformative power of faith, vulnerability, and honesty. Drawing from his experience, he offers insights into the intersection of faith and mental health, emphasizing the importance of an approach to wellness that serves the whole person. The conversation expands to touch on societal issues such as the role of technology in mental health and the responsibilities of the Church in these areas. Bishop Conley's story serves as a testament to the enduring hope and healing available through faith, community, and professional support. Tune in for an inspiring and enlightening discussion that celebrates the pursuit of wholeness and holiness.

Bishop James Conley has been the bishop of the Diocese of Lincoln, Nebraska since 2012, where his episcopal motto is "cor ad cor loquitur" ("heart speaks to heart"). Bishop Conley was ordained a priest in 1985 and has served at the Vatican and as auxiliary bishop of the Archdiocese of Denver prior to his current assignment. In 2024, he shared A Future With Hope, his pastoral letter on mental health.

Episode 68 Show Notes

A Future With Hope, Bishop Conley's Pastoral Letter on Mental Health

Chapters:

0:00: Introducing Bishop James Conley
7:43: Highs & Hards
18:09: Bishop Conley's mental health journey
35:30: The experience of vulnerability
42:52: Hopeful responses to mental health from the Church
46:44: Daily mental health practices
53:15: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. What situations and forces are threats to your mental health? How do you respond to them?
3. What do you take from Bishop Conley's openness about his struggles with mental health? How might you be more open & vulnerable with your loved ones?
4. How do you see the Church and individual Christians responding to mental health crises? Where do you see hope?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"Love without truth devolves into sentimentality. Truth without love becomes cold and calculated."
~ Bishop Robert Barron

Where did we get to this place with regard to gender?
How do I, a Christian, treat people who are gender nonconforming?
What is the relationship between truth and love in real relationships?

In Episode 67, hosts Kenna and Pat engage in a profound & faithful conversation with Dr. Julia Sadusky about gender identity and gender dysphoria. Dr. Sadusky, a licensed clinical psychologist, brings her expertise in psychology, gender, and faith, offering compassionate insights into how parents and individuals can navigate the complex terrain of gender identity with love and truth. This episode delves into the complexities of gender dysphoria, highlighting the real emotional challenges faced by those experiencing it, and provides practical guidance for parents aiming to support their children's gender exploration in a healthy and faith-filled way. Dr. Sadusky also shares her personal journey into this work, illustrating the power of compassion and the importance of presence in moments of suffering. Listeners are invited to examine their own positions and postures, fostering meaningful and empathetic relationships with those navigating gender questions.

Dr. Julia Sadusky is a licensed clinical psychologist and the owner of a private practice in Littleton, CO. She is also an author, consultant, speaker, and adjunct professor. Dr. Sadusky has done extensive research and clinical work in sexual and gender development and specializes in trauma-informed care. She earned a bachelor's degree from Ave Maria University and a master's degree and doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Regent University. She has authored several books around human sexuality, with her most recent two-book series entitled, "Start Talking to Your Kids about Sex: A Practical Guide for Catholics" (Ave Maria Press, 2023) and "Talking with Your Teen about Sex: A Practical Guide for Catholics (Ave Maria Press, 2024). 

Episode 67 Show Notes

Visit Dr. Julia Sadusky's website and check out her books

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
12:57: Defining gender & gender identity
19:34: Gender dysphoria & distress around gender
27:33: Parents facing gender confusion in their children
42:16: Public gender nonconformity & pronouns
54:28: Position vs. Posture
59:49: Navigating gender expression with loved ones
1:10:52: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions: 

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. When have you encountered challenges around gender?
3. How do you balance truth and love in the face of conversations around gender?
4. What comes up in you with conversations around gender?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"Above all, let your love for one another be intense,
because love covers a multitude of sins."
~ 1 Peter 4:8

What is a love language? What is MY love language?
Why is it hard to connect with my spouse?
How do I talk to my spouse about what makes me feel loved?

In this heartwarming episode of This Whole Life, Kenna and Pat explore the concept of love languages, inspired by Gary Chapman's popular book. They dive into how understanding love languages can enhance relationships, especially during the busy, challenging seasons of life. Pat and Kenna share personal anecdotes, discussing their own love languages and how these have influenced their marriage. They break down the five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch, and provide insights on how to recognize and appreciate the love languages of significant others, family, and friends. These love languages help each of us to love in the deepest sense, in self-gift for the good of others. Tune in for a mix of playful banter, thoughtful discussion, and practical advice to nurture your most cherished relationships.

Episode 66 Show Notes

Take the online quiz to discover your Love Language!

Download a summary of the Five Love Langauges

Order The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Chapters:
0:00: Intro Game and Highs & Hards
14:01: Explaining the Love Languages
19:22: Words of Affirmation
24:28: Quality Time
29:44: Receiving Gifts
33:32: Acts of Service
39:20: Physical Touch
49:54: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. What is your love language? What is the love language of your spouse or another loved one?
3. How have you felt loved well? What made you feel loved?
4. When have you not felt loved very well? What was happening or not happening?
5. How can you communicate better with your spouse or loved ones about your love language?

Support the show

Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters!

Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event

Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.

Follow us on Instagram & Facebook

Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.