After doing a few episodes on tips to increase your chances of getting into a healthy romantic connection, I thought I'd take the next step. Once you're dating someone, how do you monitor your own defensive tendencies that crop up once we get into the early stages of relationships?

On this identify and Heal episode, I offer a few key steps you can take to identify, address, and prevent the tendencies that get us into trouble. For some it could be coming on too strong, getting jealous, stonewalling, avoiding, the list goes on. Anything that we've developed as a defensive mechanism/trauma response to push people away or attempt to cling on to them. When you notice these, it's important to pause and check ourselves. Responses can often be addressed through communication with a partner as many of our tendencies come from assumptions and reflexive reactions to other people's behaviors that we tell ourselves a story about. So before you go down that path of falling back into old habits, hopefully you can listen to this episode and get the assist!

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Whitney Walker, LMFT
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