Translating ADHD

This episode is a rebroadcast. Dusty has handpicked episodes from the archive to air while she and Ash are on their annual summer break. New episodes resume in September!

Today, Cam and Shelly discuss a guiding philosophy that Shelly lives by in her own life and uses frequently with clients: Let It Be Easy. We discuss how we as adults with ADHD often get in our own way, over-complicating problems or approaching them from the wrong angle. We then give examples of how we and our clients have used this philosophy to find the "let it be easy" approach and how listeners can apply this philosophy to their own challenges.

In this episode, Ash and Dusty explore the complexities of seeking and receiving accommodations and supports for ADHD. They discuss how well-intentioned efforts can sometimes miss the mark when helpers do not fully understand the specific needs or reasons behind requests. Dusty shares personal experiences and client stories highlighting the frustrations that arise when accommodations are either insufficient, misunderstood, or perceived as burdensome by those providing support. They emphasize the importance of clear communication about what type of help is actually needed—whether it be accountability, body doubling, reminders, or assistance with figuring things out—and why understanding the "why" behind requests is crucial for effective support.

Ash and Dusty also address the emotional impact of past negative experiences with support that can create reluctance to seek help in the future. They highlight the value of finding the right people who not only provide consistent and appropriate support but also genuinely understand and respect individual needs. The hosts encourage listeners to advocate for themselves by clearly expressing what they need and why, and to hold onto those who truly get it. The episode closes with practical tips for both askers and supporters about maintaining boundaries and communication, reinforcing that successful accommodations come from mutual understanding and ongoing dialogue.

In this episode, Ash and Dusty explore the complexities of moderation for people with ADHD. They discuss how impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, and black-and-white thinking often make it difficult to moderate behaviors such as alcohol consumption, nicotine use, marijuana, and internet usage. Ash shares personal experiences and insights about managing these challenges, emphasizing the importance of building awareness and connecting to positive motivations rather than striving for perfection or all-or-nothing approaches. Dusty highlights the slow and gradual nature of behavior change and stresses the value of multiple small tools and interventions that can help people stay on track even when self-discipline feels elusive.

The hosts also touch on practical strategies, like switching from cocktails to bottled beer to improve memory retention and reduce negative aftereffects, using apps that create a pause before impulsive internet use, and structuring marijuana use to support productivity rather than hinder it. They advocate for accepting moderation as a sustainable lifestyle shift rather than a quick fix or drastic overhaul. The episode concludes with encouragement to embrace incremental progress and patience, recognizing that setbacks are part of the process.

In this episode, Ash and Dusty explore the pervasive challenge of forgetfulness for people with ADHD and how it impacts daily life and progress toward goals. They discuss the common experience of forgetting intentions or tasks, which leads to feelings of being overwhelmed or constantly "putting out fires." Both coaches emphasize the importance of starting with small, manageable systems tailored to individual needs, highlighting that complex systems often fail or get abandoned without curiosity and adjustment. Ash shares his personal approach using a simple three-part system: a calendar for timed events, a Google Doc for catchall to-dos, and a weekly family planner on the refrigerator, illustrating how these tools can work together to improve awareness and consistency.

Dusty expands on this by sharing coaching strategies for clients struggling with forgetfulness, including the value of duplicative systems and the necessity of patience and incremental progress. They use metaphors like building a foundation before erecting a building to help clients understand why coaching requires time and consistent effort. The episode also touches on the importance of accountability, practice, and curiosity in coaching and suggests that listening to resources like this podcast can prepare clients to make the most out of their coaching experience. Ultimately, Ash and Dusty remind listeners that managing forgetfulness in ADHD is an ongoing process that benefits from starting small, learning from experience, and building reliable systems that fit individual lives.

In this episode, Ash and Dusty explore the complex relationship between honesty, communication, and neurodivergence, especially within the ADHD community. They discuss how people with ADHD often struggle with communication due to impulsivity and a strong sense of justice, which can manifest as bluntness or oversharing. Through personal examples and coaching experiences, they highlight how honesty can sometimes cause misunderstandings or hurt feelings but also recognize its value as a strength when applied with empathy and context. The concept of "radical candor" is introduced as a balanced approach to providing direct feedback grounded in care and respect, which can be particularly helpful in professional and personal settings.

The hosts also touch on the emotional challenges faced by those with ADHD, including rejection sensitivity and difficulty masking emotions, which affect how honesty is received and expressed. They emphasize the importance of positive feedback and praise for people with ADHD to provide necessary context for growth and self-understanding. Ash and Dusty encourage listeners to identify where they prefer directness in their relationships and advocate for honest communication that respects emotional boundaries. The episode closes with a promise to continue this deep dive into communication in future episodes, recognizing its critical role in navigating neurodivergent experiences.

In this episode, Ash and Dusty explore the complexities of managing hyperfixations and hobbies as individuals with ADHD. They discuss the common experience of having interests that are “an inch deep but a mile long,” the guilt and shame surrounding inconsistent engagement or financial investment in hobbies, and the struggle to align identity with fluctuating passions. Both hosts share personal stories that highlight different patterns of engagement—from impulsively diving into new interests to learning to take smaller, manageable steps and focusing on mastery over novelty. They emphasize the importance of redefining what it means to be “into” something, allowing space for both deep commitments and casual, purpose-free enjoyment.

The conversation also delves into strategies for sustaining interests, including community involvement, mentorship, and deliberately choosing to deepen existing hobbies rather than constantly starting new ones. They highlight the value of “constructive” activities that replenish energy without demanding productivity or long-term outcomes. Ultimately, Ash and Dusty encourage listeners to reject self-judgment, embrace curiosity about their current phase, and find balance between exploring new threads of interest and committing to core passions. This episode offers compassionate insights for anyone with ADHD seeking to understand and nurture their unique relationship with hobbies and identity.

In this episode, hosts Ash and Dusty tackle the complex relationship between sleep and ADHD. They discuss how sleep issues are prevalent among individuals with ADHD, with statistics suggesting that up to 90% struggle with some form of sleep disorder. The conversation highlights the challenges clients face in recognizing the connection between their mood, cognitive functioning, and sleep quality. Ash emphasizes the importance of clients experiencing well-rested nights to understand the benefits of sleep, while Dusty shares strategies for creating effective bedtime rituals and managing sleep procrastination.

The hosts explore various approaches tailored to individual needs, from establishing calming bedtime routines to the potential use of melatonin as a supplement. They acknowledge that not every solution works for everyone and that deeper sleep disorders may require professional intervention. Throughout the episode, they encourage listeners to take small, manageable steps toward improving sleep quality and to remain patient with themselves in the process. This discussion provides valuable insights into how ADHD impacts sleep and offers practical tips for those seeking better rest.

In this episode, hosts Ash and Dusty tackle the pervasive issue of phone addiction, especially as it relates to individuals with ADHD. They explore how the constant stimulation of smartphones can lead to feelings of guilt and shame, as well as frustration from lost time. The conversation emphasizes the importance of understanding individual motivations behind phone usage and how it serves different needs, from distraction to connection. Both hosts share personal anecdotes and strategies for navigating phone usage while maintaining a healthy relationship with technology.

The discussion also highlights that not all phone usage is inherently negative; it can be a valuable tool for engagement and connection when used mindfully. Ash and Dusty encourage listeners to shift their focus from guilt over phone habits to understanding the underlying reasons for their behavior. By linking phone usage to personal intentions and desired outcomes, individuals can find a balance that works for them, ensuring that their relationship with technology enhances rather than detracts from their lives.

In this episode, Ash and Dusty explore the significant role emotions play in unwanted behaviors associated with ADHD. They illustrate this through a coaching case study focused on a client's struggle with managing emails, revealing how underlying feelings of guilt and shame influenced her behavior. The conversation highlights the importance of understanding the emotional context behind actions, emphasizing that awareness and acceptance are crucial for clients to recognize and reshape their narratives.

The discussion also delves into the boundary between coaching and therapy, particularly when addressing past experiences that impact present behavior. Ash shares insights on how coaches can help clients differentiate between emotional responses rooted in personal history versus broader societal expectations. By adopting a framework of pause, disrupt, and pivot, clients can learn to navigate their emotional reactions, ultimately paving the way for growth and self-acceptance in their journey with ADHD.

In this episode, Ash and Dusty delve into the concept of internalized ableism, particularly as it relates to individuals with ADHD. Prompted by listener feedback regarding the use of paper plates, they explore how societal expectations can pressure ADHD individuals to avoid accommodations that might support their daily functioning. Both hosts emphasize the importance of recognizing personal limitations and offering oneself grace during challenging times, illustrating their points with relatable anecdotes about managing executive dysfunction and the weight of self-judgment.

The conversation also highlights the significance of understanding one’s unique needs and circumstances without falling into an all-or-nothing mindset. Through examples like dealing with household challenges and making choices about sustainable living, Ash and Dusty encourage listeners to embrace imperfection and prioritize self-compassion. Ultimately, they empower individuals with ADHD to permit themselves to make choices that may seem less than ideal but are necessary for their well-being and productivity.