Hope Ray, LPC CSAT CHFP CCPS is a therapist, theoretician and the pioneer of Complex Partner Trauma (CPT), a complete framework that pinpoints the endangerment betrayed partners face when their significant others use abusive deception to hide fidelity violating behavior. In 2023, Hope established the Betrayal Violence Institute (BVI) an interdisciplinary network that provides definitions and education for mental health clinicians + coaches, medical + legal professionals, faith-based + community organizations, and general society to better understand the conduct and impact of secret infidelity in intimate relationships. Hope is the creator of Complex Partner Trauma Magazine, a publication for betrayed women and the host of Women Who Discover, a private podcast about infidelity betrayal available on her website along with other programs and resources. Today we are talking about Hope’s new model for understanding chronic infidelity that positions it as violence. Dr. Kate and Hope talk about the definition of betrayal violence, which is not usually physical violence, but emotional violence. It is about keeping secrets from your partner on an on-going basis, and always denying any allegations. They also talk about the emotional fallout of partners putting a wall up and withdrawing into their lies, and leaving the partner cheated on in a state of mental confusion.

Hope describes DIRE, the traits that exist in this personality profile of a cheater, betrayer: Detachment, Incongruence, Regression, Entitlement

They also talk about Victims going through CPT (Complex Partner Trauma) which includes being left in the dark, when you start to see evidence, when you can see the totality of what is going on and when you can begin to heal and set boundaries. It is an important discussion and listeners may relate to some of the signs happening in their relationship. 

Website: www.modernintimacy.com

Email your questions to: [email protected]

The Get Naked Podcast listeners can download a free printable booklet from Hope Ray about betrayal violence here:

www.hoperay.com/getnaked 

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