In today's episode, we're going to talk about how your anxious attachment style can affect your relationships. So, why does this even come from? Well, typically when people get involved or attracted to a trauma-bonded relationship, the person who's vulnerable, the person who ends up getting hurt tends to have an anxious attachment style. So let's take a moment to understand what an anxious attachment style is before delving into how it affects relationships.

An attachment style is essentially how you relate to other people and operate within relationships. It's based on how much you trust others and how worthy you feel. Attachment styles develop early in life, often stemming from childhood experiences, and they influence every aspect of your relationships, including romantic, platonic, familial, and professional.

With an anxious attachment style, you may believe that people only like you if you perform or act in specific ways to gain approval. You may constantly worry about how others view you and fear being abandoned or rejected. You become trapped in a cycle of seeking approval and avoiding rejection.

So, why is this important? Anxious attachment styles often lead to trauma-bonded relationships, where you're drawn to people who may reject or criticize you. This paradox occurs because your subconscious mind is seeking validation and approval, especially when it detects discomfort or potential rejection.

Now, let's explore five ways your anxious attachment style can impact your relationship patterns:

1. Self-Worth: Your worth becomes defined by others' approval. You feel worthy when you receive love and approval, but anxious when you don't.
2. Boundaries: Establishing and upholding boundaries becomes challenging, as you fear that setting boundaries may lead to rejection.
3. Hypervigilance: You constantly watch for signs of neglect, distance, or abandonment, which can become self-fulfilling prophecies.
4. Cycling in Relationships: You may find yourself stuck in toxic relationships, oscillating between fulfilling and depleting phases, hoping to relive idealized moments.
5. Ignoring Emotions: Anxious attachment styles often make you suppress gut feelings, causing you to overanalyze situations and feel paralyzed.

It's crucial to recognize how your attachment style impacts your relationships and emotional well-being, as it can help you break free from unhealthy patterns and seek more balanced, fulfilling connections.

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Relationship Success with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, narcissistic abuse, and emotional manipulation
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress. However if you do want to discuss your situation further, click here ttps://calendly.com/relationshipsuccesslab-info/discovery-call

LinkedIn: Dr Sarah (Alsawy) Davies

Instagram handle: @dr.sarahalsawy