TRIGGER WARNING: emotional abuse, suicidal ideation, and self-harm. 

Childhood abuse can come with a lot of overt violence and aggression... or it might be more subtle than that. Years after tackling the obvious trauma, it might be a bit crisis inducing to realize your "safe" parent was the one who affected you the most, all along. Plus, seeing the ways self-harm is born from 'escaping' the parent who belittles your existence, not the one who wanted to erase it. 

Or so I've realized in the past few weeks. 

What's it like researching and writing about complex trauma from the unsafety of your childhood home? Ha Ha Ha. Turns out, you might learn some new, life-perspective destroying things. And then get to deal with them in real time as they chase you around the house. 

Final disclaimer: This is not a cry for help - just an honest take on living with emotional abuse with language and insight not before available. Don’t make this more embarrassing for me.

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