Tonya Lester, LCSW, is the author of Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself and a Brooklyn-based psychotherapist and writer known for her work with relationships and communication. Her essay “Couples Therapist, Heal Thyself” was published in the Modern Love column in The New York Times, and she has been writing the popular Staying Sane Inside Insanity blog for Psychology Today since 2020. She has been featured as an expert in The Guardian, Newsweek, Well+Good, HuffPo, Fatherly, and the Bumble site The Buzz.

 

Here she and Dawson cover:  

Conflict aversion 

Assertiveness

Jealousy 

Question: “Where do I have resentment and the other person would be surprised?”

Value of a script

Reciprocity, reliability, and communication 

Should partners do therapy together or separately?

We don’t need to process absolutely everything, we can let some things go

Core vulnerabilities: incompetence, unloveable, unworthy

Noticing where you overreact

A “dread list” of things 

If your emotions are getting above a 5, take a break

Speaking for your feelings not from your feelings

Reframe conflict from what divides us to what brings us closer 

 

For more information about Tonya and her work: https://www.tonyalester.com/

 

Find host Dr. Dawson Church at: http://dawsongift.com/

 

To purchase Dawson's latest book, Spiritual Intelligence: 

https://www.amazon.com/Spiritual-Intelligence-Activating-Circuits-Awakened/dp/160415294X/

 

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