Understand Suicide

Malcolm Stern is a British psychotherapist who lost his daughter Melissa to suicide in 2014. He recently published his book "Slay your dragons with compassion: ," which tells the story of her loss and his process through grief. In this interview, he told me that it took him months until he shed his first tears, and only then did he start his healing path.

One of the things that helped him was to become selective about his relationship because he noticed that some people would avoid him.  "We are drawn to the places inside us that are not healed. Relationships have the capacity to bring us to healing in the places where there have been childhood wounds that have never been faced," he said.

Malcolm also explores the ways in which Melissa's suicide affected his family, particularly his connection with his two other kids, and gives us precious suggestions on how to face our grief.

If you want to support my work, buy me a coffee. This will help me keep bringing hope to those touched by suicide:  https://bit.ly/3whorPH

Find Malcolm Stern: https://bit.ly/3n9kIx0

Find his book: https://amzn.to/3juYUK0

Donate to the podcast:

https://bit.ly/3maL9RO

Watch this interview, on my YouTube Channel "Understand Suicide"

https://youtu.be/uzvikTpOPYs

Visit my page www.understandsuicide.com

Find my book "Understanding suicide: living with loss, paths to prevention"

https://amzn.to/2ANczuR

Contact me and exchange experiences on my Facebook page:

https://bit.ly/3h8sIet

Frank King is one of those perfect examples of the saying “don't judge by the cover.” For over twenty years, he wrote comedy for the Tonight Show, but while world audiences laughed at his jokes, he struggled with chronic suicidal ideation. No one knew of his pain.

In 2012, while talking to an older cousin about their great-aunt’s death, it was revealed to him that the story he knew about her, which was that she had died peacefully, was a lie. When told of the details of her suicide, all the memories came back to him at once. Right there and then, he remembered that, at the age of four, he had actually witnessed the suicide but had no recollection of it.

That revelation encouraged him to unveil other family secrets, as well as to open up about his own internal pain. He found out that mental illness is prevalent in his family, something that was kept a taboo, so Frank decided to break the silence. He came out during a TED Talk, and his decision has positively impacted his marriage and relationship with friends.

In this interview, he talks about how his determination to open up influenced his family, the reaction he often gets from his audiences, the importance of reaching out, and how liberating it is to be authentic about who he is. He also addresses the toxic culture of masculinity, which hinders men from getting in touch and processing their emotions. As a way to raise awareness regarding this issue, he recently published the book “Guts, Grit & The Grind: A MENtal Mechanics MANual: Advanced Mechanics in Preventative Maintenance.”

Find Frank King:

https://bit.ly/2HjOChJ

Buy his book:

https://amzn.to/3csFdjn

Donate to the podcast:

https://bit.ly/3maL9RO

If you want to watch this interview, visit my YouTube Channel "Understand Suicide"

https://youtu.be/S18FSjh771E

Visit my page www.understandsuicide.com

Find my book "Understanding suicide: living with loss, paths to prevention"

https://amzn.to/2ANczuR

Contact me and exchange experiences on my Facebook page:

https://bit.ly/3h8sIet

I wanted the one-year anniversary episode to be a special one, so I reached out to a person I admire deeply for his work with people who are at risk for suicide. John Sommer-Flanagan is one of those individuals who can get anyone to open up and truly feel listened to. I came across his name when taking an online course for therapists on how to treat suicidal patients and developed immense respect for him. His soothing voice and demeanor touched my heart. I learned a lot and you will too. 

With more than thirty years of practice and many books published, John deeply understands psychological pain and how to address it. He became interested in suicide after losing a patient early in his career. The painful experience made him question his ability to help others. Thankfully, he turned it around, and instead of giving up, he learned with it and decided to keep treating this population. In this interview, John gives us valuable, practical examples of how to instill hope in a person who is contemplating suicide. This is no easy task because they are usually in such pain that seeing any other option is a struggle, or what he calls “black-and-black thinking.” 

If you want to support my work, buy me a coffee. This will help me keep bringing hope to those touched by suicide:  https://bit.ly/3whorPH

Find John Flanagan: https://johnsommersflanagan.com/ 

If you want to watch this interview, visit my YouTube Channel: https://youtu.be/RDmY8kgf6Zc 

Donate to the podcast:

https://bit.ly/3maL9RO

Visit my page www.understandsuicide.com

Find my book "Understanding suicide: living with loss, paths to prevention"

https://amzn.to/2ANczuR

Contact me and exchange experiences on my Facebook page:

https://bit.ly/3h8sIet

Sarah Peyton is an international speaker who applies groundbreaking knowledge of neuroscience in treating individuals. She is the author of "Your resonant self: Guided meditations and exercises to engage your brain's capacity for healing." 

In this interview, she explains how trauma is imprinted and passed on through our DNA, which later can be expressed in emotions such as fear and anxiety. Sarah describes anxiety as having two ' flavors:' fear, which most of us associate it with, and the realm of alarm/loneliness. She also talks about the different ways in which individuals deal with trauma depending on which hemisphere of the brain is more dominant, including how the person may respond to suicidal ideation and grief.

If you want to support my work, buy me a coffee. This will help me keep bringing hope to those touched by suicide:  https://bit.ly/3whorPH

Find Sarah Peyton:

https://empathybrain.com/

Donate to the podcast:

https://bit.ly/3maL9RO

If you want to watch this interview, click on the link below:

https://youtu.be/fkFIspP5Ils

Visit my page www.understandsuicide.com

Find my book "Understanding suicide: living with loss, paths to prevention"

https://amzn.to/2ANczuR

Contact me and exchange experiences on my Facebook page:

https://bit.ly/3h8sIet

Have you ever felt disconnected from the things that are important to you? This may be a strange question when thinking about suicide, but I assure you, it is central and should be assessed in different phases of our lives because when we are out of touch with what we believe in and from whom we want to be, life feels meaningless.

To talk about values, I invited the clinical psychologist Jenna LeJeune, author of the book “Values in Therapy: A Clinician’s Guide to Helping Clients Explore Values, Increase Psychological Flexibility, and Live a More Meaningful Life.” Jenna helps us look deeply into our lives in search of an authentic way of showing up, to reflect on whether or not we choose our paths, and to guide us back when we derail from a purposeful existence.

During our conversation, she carried out an exercise that involves seeing my body language and facial expression, so if you want to watch this interview, click on the link below:

https://youtu.be/YSyQeXhXp3s

Donate to the podcast:

https://bit.ly/3maL9RO

Visit my page www.understandsuicide.com

Find my book "Understanding suicide: living with loss, paths to prevention"

https://amzn.to/2ANczuR

Contact me and exchange experiences on my Facebook page:

https://bit.ly/3h8sIet

For many years of her life, Shari felt like a misfit, which was quite confusing and hurtful for her because she could not understand where all that pain came from. She had a hard time building relationships, was haunted by self-doubt, and struggled with suicidal ideation. When she finally decided to explore her story, she sought treatment with a therapist, and what she found out was that she had repeatedly been sexually abused as a child.

Her painful repressed memories surfaced but only after she felt safe to open up. “For two years, I sat in therapy once a week and told my therapist that my life was fine and that my family was supportive,” she recalls. Today, Shari is a clinical social worker who treats trauma survivors, many of them with suicidal ideation. In 2019, she published the book “Thriving after trauma: Stories of living and healing.”

In this interview, she enlightens us about the ways in which we can heal from trauma, even if we have no memories of them. She addresses many themes from the perspectives of an individual who contemplates suicide and those who have lost loved ones in this manner.

FIND SHARI BOTWIN:

http://www.sharibotwin.com

Donate to the podcast:

https://bit.ly/3maL9RO

Watch this interview on my YouTube Channel "Understand Suicide.”

Visit my page www.understandsuicide.com

Find my book "Understanding suicide: living with loss, paths to prevention"

https://amzn.to/2ANczuR

Contact me and exchange experiences on my Facebook page:

https://bit.ly/3h8sIet

Esly Carvalho is a Brazilian/American clinical psychologist with decades of experience treating trauma patients. Her specialty is the technique EMDR, which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (she is a trainer of trainers).

In this interview, I wanted to invite my audience to reconsider some of their misconceptions about trauma because we tend to see it only as something that includes violence. This is true but it doesn’t give the full picture. Esly did a great job explaining what trauma is with many examples from her clinical work.

She also explored the many ways traumatic experiences impact many aspects of our life: our physical and mental health, the way we related to others, the fear it imprints in us, and some of the options out there for treatment. COVID-19 was also examined in our conversation.

Listen to this interview on my YouTube Channel "Understand Suicide."

Donate to the podcast:

https://bit.ly/3maL9RO

Visit my page www.understandsuicide.com

My book "Understanding suicide: living with loss, paths to prevention:"

https://amzn.to/2ANczuR

Contact me and exchange experiences on my Facebook page "Understand Suicide."

FIND ESLY CARVALHO:

EMDR International Association

Her Books (they are free on Kindle):

Rupture and Repair

Healing the Folks Who Live inside

Heal Your Brain, Heal Your Body

This podcast is for you and I'm sure that one of the reasons to come here is to find answers. This doesn't mean you find them all, so if you do have questions regarding suicide, please send them to me and I will do my best to answer them through interviews. I will never reveal your name, so feel free to ask, ok? Here are two ways to do it:

https://www.understandsuicide.com/contact-1 (just click and fill out the form)

Facebook Page (on Facebook, search for "Understand Suicide")

Let's do this together.

This is part two of my interview with Tamara Webb, a professional counselor in Portland/OR who specializes in grief. In this episode, we focus on the impact of guilt, shame, and religion on suicide loss. I also pose myself as a client and ask her a few common questions regarding suicide grief: 

1. what to say when feels their loved one's death was their responsibility? 

2. How about when the last thing you said to him/her was harsh/rude?

Find Tamara Webb here.

Donate to the podcast:

https://bit.ly/3maL9RO

Listen to this interview on my YouTube Channel "Understand Suicide."

Visit my page www.understandsuicide.com

My book "Understanding suicide: living with loss, paths to prevention:"

https://amzn.to/2ANczuR

Contact me and exchange experiences on my Facebook page:

https://bit.ly/3h8sIet