When something sad, bad, or anxiety producing happens in the life of someone we care about, our immediate instinct is to comfort.  Of course it is – we’re good people!  And often this instinct is useful because comforting is exactly what the situation calls for; for example a child’s bruised knee or a nervous first day on the job are both situations where a “there, there, you’ll be okay” goes a long way.

However, in the early days of grief, there is very little anyone can say to take away a griever’s pain and there is very little value in summing up the situation with a positive or inspiring platitude. So, we suggest people hoping to providing support.  In this video podcast, we outline what this new conceptualization means.