In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Jess Parente explore Brainspotting. The conversation delves into Brainspotting's effectiveness in addressing generational trauma, the importance of therapeutic safe spaces, and how childhood memories and attachment patterns influence personal growth. They examine the complexities of deep emotional work and discuss how underlying issues manifest in daily life, emphasizing the transformative potential for both personal relationships and self-discovery.

Throughout their discussion, Wackett and Parente share insights about the therapeutic journey, exploring how moments of connection and isolation emerge during treatment. They emphasize the vital roles of self-compassion and shame resilience, while acknowledging healing as an ongoing process. Their dialogue underscores how vulnerability, shared experiences, and emotional awareness contribute to lasting personal growth.

We covered:

• Brainspotting is a powerful therapeutic tool that uses eye positions to access trauma
• The body's signals and emotional grounding guide the healing process
• Creating safety and trust in therapy enables deeper exploration
• Vulnerability and radical ownership of feelings are essential for healing
• Childhood memories and generational trauma can surface during sessions
• Therapy can address negative subconscious beliefs and attachment patterns
• Connection with others and shame resilience foster self-compassion
• Healing is an ongoing journey requiring curiosity and openness

More About Jessica:

Jessica Parente is an ANCC-certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, an ICF Accredited Somatic Trauma-Informed Coach, a Level IV Brainspotting Provider & a Best-Selling Author. Her chapter, “Lather, Rinse, Repeat… Until You Don’t” outlines her struggles with Codependency & is featured in Narcissistic Abuse Specialist Caroline Strawson’s most recent book, “The Unseen Wounds of Women.” As the founder of It Ends With You LLC, she is passionate about helping others identify their own subconscious and Codependent patterns so that they can heal, shift and step into a life that is authentic, intentional and true to themselves. As a Recovered Codependent & a Survivor of Grief, Trauma, Generational Trauma & Narcissistic Abuse, Jess pulls from her own journey to normalize client experiences and to instill hope these challenges are NOT a life sentence.

Connect:

• Listen to our first episode here
• ⁠Website⁠
• Email: [email protected]
• ⁠Facebook⁠
• Instagram: @generational.jess; @jessmolikewhoa (personal)
• Book

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Chapters:

• 00:00 - Excitement and Connection
• 01:54 - Introduction to Brain Spotting
• 06:03 - Understanding Eye Patterns and Emotions
• 10:01 - The Role of the Body in Healing
• 13:55 - The Challenge of Vulnerability
• 18:02 - Unlocking the Brain's Potential
• 24:19 - Creating Safe Spaces in Therapy
• 29:20 - Generational Trauma and Healing
• 32:12 - Understanding Attachment in Healing
• 39:47 - Deep Diving into Brainspotting
• 49:43 - Connection and Loneliness in Therapy
• 52:20 - Building Shame Resilience
• 57:00 - The Power of Brain Spotting
• 01:05:42 - Final Thoughts on Vulnerability

In this episode, Kyira Wackett and Lena explore the shadow self - those parts of ourselves we suppress due to shame and societal pressure. Through their discussion of personal and collective experiences, they examine how this suppression affects identity formation, emotional responses, and broader social dynamics. The conversation covers the importance of compassion in shadow work, the impact of cultural narratives and historical trauma, and the journey toward authentic self-expression and collective healing.

We covered:

• The shadow self represents hidden parts of our identity.
• Shame plays a crucial role in shaping our self-concept.
• Shadow work involves confronting and integrating suppressed aspects of ourselves.
• Suppression is a protective mechanism developed in childhood.
• Conformity often leads to the compounding of suppressed identities.
• Emotional responses are influenced by societal conditioning.
• Judgment and criticism reflect the shame of the criticizer.
• Navigating binaries can create fear and insecurity.
• Fear can shut down our ability to comprehend nuance.
• Cultural backgrounds can influence our self-expression. People of color should be treated equally and given the same opportunities.
• Acknowledging the shame and fear associated with claiming one's identity is crucial.
• Cultural narratives can perpetuate cycles of victimhood and oppression.
• Understanding historical trauma helps in addressing current biases.
• Shadow work involves recognizing and integrating parts of ourselves we often reject.
• Compassion for our shadow selves is essential for healing.
• Identifying what we judge in others can reveal our own shadows.
• Behavior should not define our identity; we are more than our actions.
• Iterative growth allows for self-forgiveness and acceptance.
• Embracing nuance fosters understanding and connection with others.

More about Lena:

Lena Papadopoulos is a trauma-informed educator, coach, facilitator, and consultant dedicated to supporting purpose-driven leaders and changemakers in creating a more inclusive, equitable world. She developed (R)EVOLutionary Change, a human-centered leadership framework that addresses trauma-based shadows in individuals, society, and systems. With nearly 20 years of experience in intercultural education, leadership development, and community building, Lena’s work integrates sociology, psychology, and evolutionary astrology to foster individual and collective liberation.

Connect with Lena:

• Email Lena
• Website
• LinkedIn
• Instagram

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Chapters

• 00:00 - Understanding the Shadow Self
• 02:48 - The Role of Shame in Identity Formation
• 06:12 - The Protective Mechanism of Suppression
• 09:05 - The Compounding Effect of Conformity
• 12:10 - Collective Disconnection and Emotional Responses
• 14:56 - Navigating Binaries and Fear of Nuance
• 21:01 - Exploring Identity and Cultural Backgrounds
• 26:20 - Systems of Oppression
• 28:50 - Cultural Narratives and Historical Trauma
• 36:06 - Compassion and Shadow Work
• 41:52 - Distinguishing Behavior from Identity
• 46:31 - Embracing Nuance and Growth

In this episode, Kyira Wackett explores cognitive rehearsal, a powerful mental tool that helps you navigate fear, self-doubt, and tough situations before they happen. By mentally rehearsing conversations and decisions, you can break free from worst-case-scenario thinking, build confidence, and create a plan for success. Tune in to learn how this practice can help you shift from feeling stuck in uncertainty to taking intentional action in your life.

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

In this engaging conversation, Kyira Wackett and Emily explore the themes of self-expression and authenticity. They discuss the importance of letting go of self-censorship, the role of community in fostering self-discovery, and the challenges of navigating fear and shame. The dialogue emphasizes that self-expression is unique to each individual and that true connections arise from vulnerability and authenticity. The conversation serves as a guide for listeners to embrace their true selves and cultivate deeper relationships. In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Emily Rose Utter explore the themes of shame, authenticity, and emotional depth. They discuss the importance of releasing shame to embrace one's true self, the necessity of inner child healing, and how the experiences of shame can transform into gifts. They also touch on the challenges of self-expression and the steps one can take to begin this journey, emphasizing the role of community and support in the process.

Takeaways

• Self-expression requires authenticity over performance
• Self-awareness and vulnerability foster deeper connections
• Self-censorship often begins in childhood
• Authenticity attracts abundance in relationships
• Our greatest gifts can emerge from past shame
• Community support is vital for healing
• Small steps toward self-expression create lasting change
• Shame can protect but also limit growth
• Inner child healing helps release past experiences
• Self-awareness initiates transformation

More about Emily:

Emily is a business coach with a decade of experience teaching clients how to make more sales through using self-expression as their guide & compass.

Connect with Emily:

• Facebook
• Instagram
• Website

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Chapters

• 00:00 - Setting the Stage for Authenticity
• 03:03 - The Journey of Self-Expression
• 08:56 - The Role of Community in Self-Discovery
• 15:08 - The Power of Authentic Connections
• 24:12 - Releasing Shame and Embracing Authenticity
• 28:19 - Inner Child Healing
• 35:20 - Transforming Shame into Gifts
• 40:11 - Taking the First Steps
• 45:01 - Connecting with Emily Rose Utter

In this conversation, Kyira and Amy discuss the pressing issue of children feeling like they are falling behind in education, particularly in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. They explore the origins of this fear, the impact of systemic issues in education, and the importance of understanding children's behavior as a form of communication. The discussion emphasizes the need for individualized learning approaches, the detrimental effects of labeling children, and the importance of changing mindsets around education and parenting. They advocate for a more supportive and understanding educational environment that recognizes each child's unique needs and experiences. In this conversation, Amy and Kyira explore the complexities of parenting and education, emphasizing the importance of emotional regulation, curiosity, and advocacy for children. They discuss the challenges within the school system, the need for personalized approaches, and the significance of allowing children to ask questions. The conversation also touches on the necessity of grieving parental expectations and embracing mistakes as part of the learning process. Ultimately, they advocate for a shift from compliance to connection in both parenting and education.

We covered:

• Falling behind is a dominant fear-driven motivation for parents and educators.
• The impact of COVID-19
• Children's behavior should be viewed as information, not problems.
• Individualized learning is crucial for children's success.
• The term 'behind' is detrimental to children's self-esteem.
• Comparison among children leads to a loss of joy and individuality.

• Parents should advocate for their children's unique learning styles.
• Understanding the context of a child's life is essential for effective education.
• Radical reform in education is necessary to address systemic issues. Emotional regulation and sensory processing are crucial for children.
• The school system often requires a context-driven approach for struggling students.
• Encouraging children to ask 'why' fosters curiosity and understanding.

• Grieving the loss of idealized parenting expectations is important.

• Compliance in children is often rooted in parental fears and societal expectations.
• Connection is more important than compliance in parenting and education.

More about Amy:

Amy Herzog, founder of Spark Joy with Amy, is a seasoned elementary educator and creative private tutor with 25 years of experience teaching children ages 3-12 years old. Her innovative methods not only enhance knowledge, personal growth, and relational connection, but also inspire confidence, curiosity, and critical thinking skills in young learners. Amy now dedicates her expertise to coaching homeschooling moms and educators, ensuring that children love learning for life.

Connect with Amy:

• Website
• Instagram
• Public Facebook Group
• YouTube

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Chapters:

• 00:00 - Introduction and New Year Reflections
• 02:59 - Understanding the Concept of Falling Behind
• 05:58 - The Impact of COVID-19 on Education
• 08:58 - The Role of Context in Learning
• 12:03 - Behavioral Issues and Mislabeling Children
• 14:50 - The Importance of Individualized Learning
• 17:58 - Changing Mindsets Around Learning
• 21:02 - Advocating for Children in Education
• 26:57 - Understanding Emotional and Sensory Needs
• 28:47 - Encouraging Curiosity in Children
• 32:05 - Grieving Parental Expectations
• 35:52 - Fostering a Love for Learning
• 39:11 - Embracing Mistakes in Parenting
• 44:51 - Empowering Educators and Parents

Have you ever walked into a room, and it suddenly felt silent? Or caught someone’s gaze and wondered what they were thinking? Maybe you texted someone and didn’t hear back for days. What was your immediate reaction—was it personal? In today’s solo episode, host Kyira Wackett explores how our brains often make us the central hub of every story, assuming that everything is about us. We’ll dive into how this thinking distances us from our authentic selves and how to shift focus back to living in our own stories.

Key Takeaways:

Reflection Questions:

Memorable Quotes:

Call to Action:

Kyira Wackett and Karin Klein discuss the societal pressures surrounding college education, examining its historical context and the evolving job market. They explore how parental expectations, school systems, and counselors influence students' choices, often reinforcing the notion that college is the only path to success. The conversation emphasizes the need for a cultural shift toward valuing diverse educational and career pathways, recognizing the significance of all professions, including those that do not require a degree. Klein highlights the importance of fostering curiosity, experiential learning, and practical skills, while Wackett underscores the value of process over output in personal growth. Together, they advocate for rethinking traditional definitions of success and creating meaningful learning experiences that prepare students for the workforce beyond academics.

We covered:

• Societal and parental expectations create immense pressure for students to attend college, often reinforcing outdated definitions of success.
• Historically, college was a privilege for the affluent, but the job market has evolved to value skills, training, and maturity over degrees.
• Many students enter college without a clear purpose, while school counselors often lack resources to guide those exploring alternative paths.
• Employers are increasingly dropping degree requirements, recognizing that success comes from various educational and career routes.
• Experiential learning, community colleges, and vocational training offer valuable opportunities that should be valued equally to traditional education.
• Schools need to engage students in meaningful, relevant learning that prioritizes curiosity, personal confidence, and real-world skills.
• Parents play a crucial role in shaping their children's futures but also face societal pressure to conform to conventional success metrics.
• High expectations can lead to stress and anxiety, making it essential to prioritize students’ happiness, safety, and individuality.
• A cultural shift is necessary to redefine education, embracing diverse pathways and fostering lifelong learning beyond academics.

More about Karin:

Longtime editorial writer at the LA Times. On Aug. 13, HarperCollins is publishing my new book, "Rethinking College: A Guide to Thriving Without a Degree." It's about the need to remove the stigma and shame around not having a bachelor's degree and a guide about how to go about creating a great career and life without a four-year degree -- or perhaps getting one after learning more about life. Many real-life examples in the book.

Connect with Karin:

• Karin’s Book: “Rethinking College”
• Check out some of her articles from the LA Times
• LinkedIn

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

In this episode, Kyira Wackett challenges the cultural obsession with productivity and the shame-driven pressure to do it all. She explores how to shift from a mindset of doing to one of being by prioritizing intention and connection over perfection. Listen in to learn how to protect your time, energy, and well-being by investing in yourself thoughtfully and with purpose.

Ready to take the next step?

Stay Connected:

In this episode of Untethering Shame, host Kyira Wackett and parenting expert Suzie Forbes explore how childhood trauma impacts parenting styles and emotional regulation. Through practical strategies and personal insights, they discuss breaking free from shame cycles, building self-awareness, and creating deeper parent-child connections. Learn evidence-based approaches for emotional regulation, setting healthy boundaries, and fostering resilience in both parents and children.

We covered:

• Unresolved trauma impacts parenting decisions
• Shame and inadequacy affect parenting confidence
• Community support and seeking help are vital
• Values guide intentional parenting choices
• Self-care and emotional regulation matter
• Connection and validation foster healing
• Mindful parenting prevents trauma cycles
• Acceptance helps navigate challenges
• Wonder transforms parenting experiences
• Active listening strengthens relationships

More about Suzie:

I'm Suzie, Founder of The Wonderful Society. I am an occupational therapist (30 yrs), mental health clinician (18 yrs) and mama of 2 kids with big emotions.

✨ I help parents of kids (tines to teens) with big emotions use the power of positive psychology and neuroscience to raise healthier, happier & more helpful humans.

Connect with Suzie:

• Collaborative Book: https://leadwithloveseries.com/
• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• TikTok

Resources Mentioned:

• Grounding Exercise — Grounding with WONDER free mindfulness meditation tool

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Chapters:

• 00:00 - Introduction and Emotional Check-In
• 05:58 - The Impact of Shame and Fear in Parenting
• 12:01 - The Role of Community and Support
• 15:01 - Understanding Guilt vs. Shame
• 21:01 - Values-Based Living vs. Shame-Based Healing
• 32:43 - The Importance of Connection in Parenting
• 39:02 - Unpacking Values and Self-Awareness
• 46:10 - Finding Wonder in Parenting
• 51:48 - Grounding in Wonder and Next Steps

In this episode, Kyira Wackett and Angel Wilburn discuss the shame and judgment surrounding breastfeeding. They explore the pressure faced by new mothers to breastfeed and the feelings of failure that can arise when breastfeeding is not possible. They also discuss the challenges of C-sections and the impact of medication on breastfeeding. The conversation highlights the need for support, education, and open dialogue to address the shame and stigma associated with breastfeeding. This conversation explores the challenges and pressures of the breastfeeding journey, particularly in the face of medical complications and societal expectations. Angel shares her personal experience of feeling lonely and overwhelmed as she navigated the difficulties of breastfeeding after a traumatic birth experience. She highlights the importance of having a supportive partner and the impact of medical professionals on her journey. The conversation emphasizes the need for women to make the best decisions for themselves and their babies, free from judgment and pressure. It also underscores the power of connection and listening in providing support to mothers.

We covered:

• Breastfeeding is often entangled with layers of shame and judgment, casting a shadow over the experiences of new mothers.
• Mothers who are unable to breastfeed can feel like failures and experience a sense of shame.
• The pressure to breastfeed is intensified by societal expectations and the belief that it is the only way to be a 'real' mother.
• The challenges of C-sections, including the recovery process and the impact on breastfeeding, can contribute to feelings of failure and shame.
• Support, education, and open dialogue are crucial in addressing the shame and stigma surrounding breastfeeding. Breastfeeding can be a lonely and overwhelming experience, especially when faced with medical complications and societal expectations.
• Having a supportive partner can make a significant difference in a mother's breastfeeding journey.
• The attitude and behavior of medical professionals can greatly impact a mother's experience and decision-making process.
• Mothers should prioritize their own well-being and make the best decisions for themselves and their babies, free from judgment and pressure.
• Connection and listening are powerful tools in providing support to mothers.

More about Angel:

Angel is a Public Relations Specialist. She has a Master of Arts in Public Relations. Angel knows that small business owners wear many hats and believes publicists should be one of them. She works with small businesses to help them increase the visibility of their brand and get organized. She is the Founder of The Modest Company, host of The Mod Co Podcast.

Connect with Angel:

• Website
• Social Handle: @themodcosc
• LinkedIn
• Check out our episode on Angel’s Podcast where we talk about the process of learning to be a fan of ourselves

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Chapters:

• 00:00 - Introduction to the Podcast
• 00:28 - The Pressure and Shame of Breastfeeding
• 03:00 - One-Word Check-In
• 04:00 - The Shame of Not Breastfeeding
• 06:20 - Breaking the Silence Around Breastfeeding Shame
• 09:24 - Navigating Overwhelm and Judgment
• 10:23 - Understanding C-Section Stigma
• 13:07 - The Hidden Emotional Toll of Motherhood
• 18:27 - Communication Gaps in Medical Support
• 21:23 - Dealing with Low Milk Supply
• 26:35 - Finding Connection in Isolation
• 36:03 - The Critical Role of Partner Support
• 41:16 - Making Informed Decisions for You and Your Baby
• 46:18 - Advocating for Empowering Healthcare
• 49:41 - The Power of Connection and Listening