Untethering Shame

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:

“Why does it always feel like I’m the bad guy for not calling my mom every day when she could just as easily call me? I’m exhausted and somehow it’s still on me.”

If you’ve ever felt guilty for not calling enough — or been shamed for not doing more to “keep the relationship alive” — you’ll connect with this one. We explore the guilt adult children often feel when parents put the responsibility of connection entirely on them, and what it takes to set that weight down.

Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:

• Why this guilt doesn’t actually belong to you
• The myth of “role reversal” in adult parent–child relationships
• How guilt trips erode connection instead of building it
• Practical ways to respond to “You never call me” without caving or overexplaining

If you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly cast as the “bad guy” in your relationship with a parent, this episode is for you.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).

⁠Submit here⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.
• ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.
• ⁠YouTube⁠
• ⁠Website⁠

💬 Love should feel mutual, not one-sided. You don’t have to carry the relationship alone.

#AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #ShameResilience #AdultChildren #AdversityRising

In this conversation, Kyira and Jennifer Ginty explore the deep connection between emotions, shame, and healing. Jennifer shares her personal journey of surviving childhood trauma, navigating Complex PTSD and depression, and ultimately creating My Moody Monster — a tool designed to help both children and adults externalize and regulate big emotions. Together, they discuss how society teaches us to suppress feelings, the generational cycles that keep us from emotional regulation, and why learning to face and integrate emotions is central to healing.

• Emotions are information, not problems. Every feeling serves a purpose, but judgment and suppression turn them into sources of shame.
• Healing is not linear. Growth is a roller coaster of highs and lows — giving yourself grace is essential.
• Generational patterns matter. Families and micro-societies teach us to stuff emotions, but we can choose to break the cycle.
• Toolboxes are personal. From therapy skills to creative outlets like Moody, what matters is finding tools that work for you.
• Kids need safe outlets. Tools like Moody help children (and adults) externalize frustration, communicate about feelings, and rebuild after emotional outbursts.
• Building a team is key. Surrounding yourself with supportive professionals and loved ones helps reinforce that you matter too.

More about Jen:

Jen is the creator of Moody, a project born from her journey of living with Complex PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder. Refusing to be defined by suffering, Jen sees Moody as a love story to her healing — a tool that has not only supported her through challenges but also helped children navigate their big feelings. Today, she is on a mission to bring Moody to first responders, social workers, and children facing traumatic events, ensuring they are met with care, support, and hope.

Connect with Jen:

• YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@mymoodymonster
• Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/mymoodymonster
• Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/my-moody-monster
• TikTok: http://www.tiktok.com/@mymoodymonster
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/93141440

• My Moody Monster – Learn more about Jennifer’s creation, pre-order a Moody, or explore donation options to support kids and families through first responders and social workers.
• Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) – An evidence-based therapy that teaches skills for emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and mindfulness.
• Internal Family Systems (IFS) – A therapeutic approach that helps people explore and heal different “parts” of themselves shaped by past experiences.
• Find a Therapist – Building your own “team” is essential. You can search for licensed therapists near you through directories like Psychology Today or GoodTherapy.
• In Crisis? – If you’re struggling with trauma or overwhelming emotions, help is available. In the U.S., call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If outside the U.S., please look up your local crisis hotline for immediate support.

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Key TakeawaysResources & Additional Information

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:

“I’ve made so many decisions based on what I thought I ‘should’ do. I’m trying to live by my values now, but I feel lost. Where do I even start?”

We explore the messy, brave, and often disorienting process of untangling your identity from the “shoulds” you've inherited — and beginning the work of living by your own values. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:

• How shame shapes our early decision-making
• The grief and confusion that can surface when we stop performing and start aligning
• How to identify your values when you’ve lost touch with them
• Practical ways to rebuild a life that feels like your own

If you’ve ever felt like you built a life that looks good on paper but doesn’t feel like you — this episode is for you.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).

⁠Submit⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.
• ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.
• ⁠YouTube⁠
• ⁠Website⁠

💬 Letting go of “should” is not failure — it’s freedom. Start where you are. Build from what matters.

#AskMeAnything #LiveByYourValues #LetGoOfShould #ShameResilience #Authenticity #AdversityRising

In this thought-provoking episode, Kyira Wackett and Avani Patel delve into the societal pressures and standards that shape our lives. They explore the challenges of asking for help in a world that often equates vulnerability with weakness. Through personal stories and insightful discussions, they uncover how societal norms impact our sense of belonging and self-worth. Join them as they discuss the importance of reclaiming personal power and rewriting the narratives that no longer serve us. Tune in to discover how embracing vulnerability can lead to profound personal growth and stronger community connections.

1. Societal Pressures and Standards: Exploring how societal norms influence our behavior and self-perception.
2. Asking for Help: The challenges and misconceptions around seeking support and its impact on personal growth.
3. Connection and Belonging: The role of community in overcoming shame and fostering a sense of belonging.
4. Reclaiming Personal Power: Strategies for rewriting personal narratives and taking back control of one's life.
5. Vulnerability and Growth: How embracing vulnerability can lead to significant personal transformation.
6. Cultural Differences: Insights into how different cultures approach help and community support.
7. Generational Beliefs: Breaking the cycle of inherited beliefs and creating new, empowering narratives.

More about Avani:

“I recently left corporate after 20 years to pursue my passion for helping others. As a hypnotherapist, I help my clients with deep healing. As a coach, I teach women how to end the hustle and grind of burnout so that they can have more balance, happiness, and fulfillment.”

Connect with Avani:

• Eternal Alchemists: Website
• Coaching Website
• Instagram
• YouTube
• TikTok

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:

“How do I grieve someone who’s still alive? I’m watching a loved one self-destruct and I feel powerless.”

We explore the pain of ambiguous loss — the kind of grief that comes not from death, but from disconnection, decline, or change in someone you love. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:

• What ambiguous loss is and why it’s so emotionally disorienting
• Why hope and heartbreak can coexist — and create so much inner conflict
• How to name what you're grieving, even without closure
• What it means to love someone without losing yourself in the process

If you're mourning the version of someone you used to know — or the relationship you hoped you’d have — this episode is for you.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).

⁠Submit⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding yourself in self-trust, even in the midst of loss.
• ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore coaching or program options that meet you where you are.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.
• ⁠YouTube⁠
• ⁠Website⁠

💬 You don’t have to wait for closure to grieve. Some of the hardest goodbyes happen without words at all.

#AskMeAnything #AmbiguousLoss #GriefWhileTheyreAlive #ShameResilience #LettingGo #AdversityRising

Summer Re-Release SeriesWe’re taking a pause to rest and reflect—and sharing some of your favorite episodes in the meantime. These powerful conversations are worth revisiting, whether it’s your first time listening or a timely return. New episodes resume September 7th.

Episode: Shame & the Shadow Self with Lena PapadopoulosIn this final episode of our summer re-release series, Kyira sits down with trauma-informed educator and leadership coach Lena Papadopoulos to explore the shadow self—the parts of us we hide, suppress, or reject because of shame and societal pressure. Together, they uncover how this suppression impacts our identity, emotional responses, and even our collective well-being.

The conversation dives into the protective mechanisms that form in childhood, the compounding effect of conformity, and how cultural narratives and historical trauma shape the way we see ourselves and others. Most importantly, Kyira and Lena highlight the power of compassionate shadow work—integrating the parts of ourselves we’ve rejected in order to live authentically and foster collective healing.

Key Takeaways

• The shadow self represents the hidden aspects of our identity shaped by shame and societal pressure.

• Suppression often begins as a protective mechanism in childhood and deepens through conformity.

• Our emotional reactions and judgments of others can reveal the shadows we’ve disowned.

• Cultural narratives and historical trauma influence how we express ourselves and see others.

• Shadow work requires compassion, curiosity, and the willingness to integrate rejected parts of self.

• Embracing nuance and iterative growth leads to personal liberation and deeper connection with others.

About Lena:Lena Papadopoulos is a trauma-informed educator, coach, facilitator, and consultant supporting purpose-driven leaders and changemakers in creating a more inclusive, equitable world. She developed (R)EVOLutionary Change, a human-centered leadership framework that addresses trauma-based shadows in individuals, society, and systems. With nearly 20 years of experience in intercultural education, leadership development, and community building, Lena’s work integrates sociology, psychology, and evolutionary astrology to foster individual and collective liberation.

Connect with Lena:

- Website

- Instagram

In this solo episode, I’m opening up about something I’ve carried shame about for most of my life — body hair — and how it became a symbol of all the ways I thought I didn’t belong.

From being called “Chewbacca” in school to obsessing over whether or not I shaved before a trip or a workout, I learned to tie my worth to how “smooth” or “presentable” my body looked — and the shame ran deep. But the anxiety wasn’t really about the hair. It was about the story I believed the hair told.

Inside this episode, we explore:

• How shame teaches us to fixate on our bodies as a form of control
• The damage of trying to avoid judgment instead of challenging the narrative
• Why neutrality — not confidence — is often the most powerful first step
• What it means to take back your power and stop performing for people who no longer matter
• A powerful reminder that your value is not defined by the amount of hair on your body

We also touch on the practice of cognitive reframing and how shifting the way we think about our experiences helps us reclaim our stories — especially the ones we’ve been holding since childhood.

If you’ve ever felt ashamed of your body, tried to manage your anxiety by micromanaging your appearance, or are navigating how to raise kids who feel safe in their skin — this episode is for you.

🧠 Want more support?

• Download the free workbook Letting Go of Shame Stories: A Body Image Reset — a reflective tool to help you rewrite the stories that keep you stuck in shame.
• Missed the episode on cognitive reframing? Listen here to learn how to shift your thoughts and reduce anxiety and self-criticism.
• Join the AR Insider List for weekly resources, tools, and support to untether from shame and live in alignment.
• Book a free discovery call if you’re ready for 1:1 coaching or group support on your shame resilience journey.

🎧 Subscribe + Share

Be sure to follow the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, and leave a review to let us know what landed with you.

Know someone who’s struggling with body shame? Share this episode — you never know whose story it might change.

💬 Your body is not a project. You are not a problem to fix. You are worthy — as you are.

#UntetheringShame #BodyImage #ShameResilience #BodyHairAndShame #ReclaimYourNarrative #AdversityRising #CognitiveReframing #SelfAcceptance #NeutralIsPowerful

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:

“I’ve built my whole identity around being high-achieving, but now I’m tired. Who am I if I’m not constantly proving my worth?”

We dive into the emotional weight of tying your value to productivity and performance — and how to start untangling your identity from the pressure to constantly do in order to feel like you are enough. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:

• How high-achievement can become a form of self-protection
• The shame and fear that show up when you stop striving
• How to rest without guilt and reconnect with who you are beyond accomplishments
• Practices for living from values, not validation

If you’ve ever felt afraid to slow down because you’re not sure who you are without the hustle — this episode is for you.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).

⁠Submit⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start separating your worth from your output.
• ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore support that meets you where you are.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.
• ⁠YouTube⁠
• ⁠Website⁠

💬 You are not your output. You are worthy even when you rest.

#AskMeAnything #HighAchieverFatigue #RestWithoutGuilt #ShameResilience #IdentityAndWorth #AdversityRising

Summer Re-Release Series
We’re taking a pause to rest and reflect—and sharing some of your favorite episodes in the meantime. These powerful conversations are worth revisiting, whether it’s your first time listening or a timely return. New episodes resume September 7th.

Episode: Shame & Money with Kyley Caldwell
Money is one of the most emotionally charged topics in our lives—and shame is often hiding right underneath it. In this episode, Kyira and coach Kyley Caldwell dive deep into the complicated relationship between money, self-worth, and shame.

Together, they explore how societal narratives, family patterns, and internalized expectations shape the way we think about money and ourselves. From the fear of being “bad with money” to overspending in search of validation, this conversation invites you to untangle financial identity from personal value. Kyley shares strategies for cultivating a more joyful and liberated relationship with money, so that it becomes a tool for alignment rather than a source of fear and avoidance.

Key Takeaways

• Shame is often the hidden driver behind our financial fears and decisions.

• Family patterns and societal narratives shape how we view money and self-worth.

• Spending for validation or image can create cycles of financial stress and shame.

• Healing our relationship with money requires curiosity, self-compassion, and awareness of triggers.

• Aligning financial choices with personal values creates freedom and ease with money.

About Kyley:
Kyley Caldwell is a mindset coach and money mentor helping people transform their relationship with money, self-worth, and abundance. Through her coaching and programs, she supports individuals in breaking free from shame-driven financial patterns and stepping into a more empowered, joyful, and values-aligned approach to money.

Connect with Kyley:

• Instagram

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:

“I’m dating someone new and they’re great, but I keep waiting for something to go wrong. How do I stop sabotaging what feels good?”

We unpack the fear of being seen, loved, and safe — especially when past pain makes “good” feel unfamiliar or even threatening. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:

• Why your nervous system might interpret calm and connection as danger
• How shame and past hurt quietly drive self-sabotage
• What to say to yourself (and your partner) when fear creeps in
• How to build safety without abandoning your growth

If you’ve ever found yourself pulling away from something good — even when you want to lean in — this episode is for you.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).

⁠Submit⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start replacing old sabotage cycles with daily self-trust practices.
• ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore coaching or community support designed for your growth.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.
• ⁠YouTube⁠
• ⁠Website⁠

💬 You don’t have to sabotage what’s good just to feel prepared. You’re allowed to feel safe — even if it’s new.

#AskMeAnything #RelationshipAnxiety #SelfSabotage #ShameResilience #AttachmentHealing #AdversityRising