Girl...we've been single a looonngg time. And, let's face it, building intimate connections and relationships at this age, ain't easy. I was thinking the other day that there must be some secret key or special sauce that makes it easier to connect with people. The good news is THERE IS! the secret key to building connections is called emotional intelligence! Our guest today, Dr. Patrick Kilcarr is a Georgetown University Professor, Therapist and Author of the book "Leading an Emotionally Intelligent Life", He's here to take us on a masterful journey into the power of emotional intelligence. So, if emotional intelligence is the secret to unlocking personal transformation and reaching one’s full potential, why are there so few personal guides on how to use emotional intelligence? Well, Enter Dr. Patrick Kilcarr, who has dedicated his life to studying and teaching EI and his latest book, Leading an Emotionally Intelligent Life: Expanding Your EI to Make Courageous Decisions and Transform Your Life, is the guide you're looking for. Dr. Kilcarr closes the gap between what is written about Emotional Intelligence and demonstrates what it looks and feels like to achieve and maintain it, especially if our formative years were paved with drama, trauma, and disappointment. This conversation is so thoughtful and riveting in the way Dr. Kilcarr gets us to think about the power of EI. And to tell you the truth, I'm not surprised. He is one of the leading experts in Emotional Intelligence and has been the Director of Georgetown University’s Center for Personal Development since 1999. Further, he is a master trainer in emotional intelligence and certifies professionals to use the EQ-i2.0 (the most valid and reliable self-assessment of emotional intelligence). All of his work is directed toward strengthening the individual with respect to his/her innate talents and abilities. You can find more about his teachings on his website. 

In this episode, Dr. K teaches us that:  Emotional intelligence is about understanding your emotions and how those emotions impact the relationships in your life and, conversely, the emotions of others and how they impact you. We can use emotional intelligence to get ahead of those things that may trigger us emotionally. To an extent, there is an emotional vibration that we begin to feel before the trigger occurs, and it is in those moments when we have a choice about how to navigate what is to come. We are sometimes so overly cautious in being politically correct, that it prohibits us from asking the tough questions to really get to know someone else. When you see an emotional cue from someone else, open the dialogue with a question. "Did I just do something to make you uncomfortable?" Conversely, when someone says something that triggers you, call attention to it and invite conversation.

One key component of E.I. is the recognition that we're all imperfect, most people have good intentions and to talk about it when a mistake is made. In that space, we can begin to make conscious changes. There are 4 things that indicate whether or not we're living a balanced, emotionally intelligent life: self-regard, relationships, optimism, and self-actualization in the frame of are we doing what we want in our lives right now?

And here we thought we had to start a damn podcast to build connections with you ladies out there. But, since I mentioned it, We DOOOO want to connect with YOU! We love you and hope you love Dr. Patrick's message in this episode about how powerful emotionally intelligent connections can be. We want YOU to join the conversation. Leave us a review, follow us on Instagram and join our FB group.