Ep65

Frustration…What a Challenge

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Hello and Welcome

to the Way of the Emotional Warrior Podcast.

My name is Kai Ehnes and today we will be answering the question of :

What lesson

or lessons can Frustration offer us?

I truly had

all good intentions of continuing my segment on love and The One for today’s

episode. However, I am experiencing quite a bit of frustration over the past

few days so I thought it might be of some value to dive into it a bit and see

how being an emotional warrior helps in these times.

Let’s start

with what frustration means. It starts with the feeling or state of being

frustrated. Ok circular logic only increases frustration. So what is

frustration? Psychology defines it as an emotional response to opposition. What

is this opposition? It has to do with our goals and our will not being

fulfilled or met. The research says that

the typical responses to either internal or external conflict are often anger, violence,

or passive aggressive behavior.

I often

mention David Hawkins’ work on the levels of consciousness. He assigns number

values to different emotions. 200 is the magic level that separates the lower,

often damaging emotions from the higher level positive helpful expanding

emotions. The definition of frustration shows that we easily get pulled or

pushed into the lower emotional levels.

Well, that’s

just great. You make a plan, execute the necessary tasks, lets say you even do

everything right and something externally blocks you. Let’s assume it’s a block

that you can not break down. The only choices are to stay or back up, or get

around.

Let’s go through

the options. First…you can stay put and keep running into the block. It will

not give, only you get hurt. Second you can go backwards. The only way I read

this option is that you end up hiding. Still the block remains. Blowing up the

block is not an option. What’s left is to get around it.

As an

emotional warrior, you have some tools available to you. First, do something

physical like a workout. Get your energy moving in a healthy constructive way.

With that edge of raw energy brought down a bit try going to the other side.

Practice heart-mind coherence. Find a place where you can be alone for a few

moments. Sit comfortably, take your hand (either one) and touch your chest where

your heart is, with your fingers. Now try to settle in and focus on the area

you are touching while breathing. Try to do it for 5 minutes. More if you can

do it.

This should

settle your system down so that you can take yourself from the red zone to a

calmer place.

Now…can

getting around this block bring something better? Sometimes the block may be

showing you something that has been broken or in need of attention but you were

not dealing with it. By problem solving from a heart-mind coherent place you

can come up with more creative and beneficial solutions.

Your mindset

is what you have control over. Your responses are something you have control

over. Maybe you can even get to the place, after you solve the block, where you

can address larger questions and issues in your life.

Yes we all

get frustrated. Going to the Red Zone of the lower emotions like anger and

violence are completely counter productive. We all have to deal with these

situations.

Remember

that you are an emotional warrior. Leave yourself clues to that mindset so that

when you get into crisis you can find yourself able to reach into your

emotional toolkit and move into positive constructive thoughts and behaviors.

When your

heart-mind grid is in coherence, you get master your emotional turbulences.

Good luck.

~Peace

Want to Learn How to Increase Your Longevity? Download your Free ebook @ www.kaiehnes.com

Hello and Welcome

to the Way of the Emotional Warrior Podcast.

My name is Kai Ehnes and today we will be answering the question of: How

can you create the One?

Oh I am sure

this sounds absolutely crazy. What do you mean you can create someone. Well,

first off this not so much about anything physical but much moreso along the

emotional and interior life. So let’s get started. Last week we spoke about

having to do some emotional and spiritual work within yourself so that you can

meet the One.

Think of it

this way. Imagine that you are trying to find the right radio station. Back in

the day, radios had a knob that you turned and this sort of wacky red or white

needle would move left or right. Inside the radio this shifted the receiver to

be able to pick up the various frequencies of different radio stations. There

were 2 bands for the public. AM and FM. You gently turned the know until you

found a station, then you had to turn the dial back and forth until had the

best reception. Of course, if this was inside of a car you had to do it again

shortly because you were moving which changed the reception. Good, if you did it right, you were rewarded

with a great song and clear reception. In pother words you had to do some work

(dial turning) the radio station did its job by sending signals. Connection

established.

Here is how

it worked for me. In another time I was a singled dad of two boys. They kept me

quite busy, so dating was sparse. What I found is what I think many people

experience which is that dating was fun but like the radio example, didn’t have

the right reception. You know when you are scrolling through various TV

channels but simply can’t find anything that grabs your attention. Sometimes

you even end up watching something you don’t even really care about but you

simply don’t have the energy to ramp up for doing something else?

That’s what

dating was like. Very nice people but I already had a very busy and established

life.

So I took

some time off from it all and started to do the work. I had a large whiteboard

and started to write on it what I wanted in someone else. I came up with a good

list of traits. For a while the list simply sat there. Periodically I would add

or remove something. I would alter the order of the traits. Then it started to

take on a life of itself.

What

happened was life changing in numerous ways. One evening I was looking over the

list and the universe sent me the idea that what I was asking goes in both

directions. Was I actually living the characteristics of the list? I mean

honestly, is it fair to ask anything of someone else if you don’t exhibit those

traits yourself. Here is an example: Is it ok to demand that another person be

loyal and not cheat but you would cross that line if you felt like it?

So, I gave

myself the task of doing an inventory of each trait. How solid was I an any and

all of those traits that I thought The One should exhibit. There were some

moments of honesty I had to look into. This is what I mean by doing the Work.

In all of the different areas of your personality, where are you out of

balance? Then you step in with honesty and integrity, look at your short

comings or excesses and seek help to address them.

This became

a lot of fun. I had quite a bit of work to do. It has been ongoing every day.

What became clear was this: If you want the One you first have to Be the One.

That means you do the work which is like turning the radio dial. You adjust

your self (the radio) by adjusting your frequency reception and suddenly the

right station will appear. In this case the right person emerged. I knew the

universe was conspiring for this to happen. The events of my meeting My One

were pretty wild. That will be another story for another time.

What about

the kids you might ask. Well, one day when I was walking to my...

Want to Learn How to Increase Your Longevity? Download your Free ebook @ www.kaiehnes.com

Hello and Welcome

to the Way of the Emotional Warrior Podcast.

My name is Kai Ehnes and today we will be answering the question of:

Have You

Found “The One?”

How often

have you heard about finding The One? You know, that one person out of all 7.8

something billion of us. Picture that for one moment. Here we are born into a

certain family, in a certain town, in a certain country on this planet and

somewhere along the line someone threw out into human consciousness that we

have to find The One. Again, think about that…imagine being in a larger room

with 200 people. Try finding someone in that crowd. Now magnify that to finding

one person in 7.8 billion beings.

How can you

even know when it is that person? Maybe you have never traveled very far and

you found someone you really like. How can you ever fully settle in? maybe

someone is moreso The one than the one you are with?

This can

drive any sane person crazy. What to do? Well…enter prime time to being an

emotional warrior. Neuroscience has various explanations of how the brain works

and responds with its neurochemistry, evolutionary psychology has its own set

of answers.

Here are a

few ideas.

A good

amount of research points to the idea that in many species, the females make

decisions about a partner. In reaction, males have created various traits and

behaviors to try to make themselves be noticed and more attractive. While this

seems a perfectly reasonable order of events, why is it so difficult to find

the right person to be a good match?

Neuroscience

has shown that the chemistry rush that overtakes our brain when we are

attracted to someone actually do us a disservice. The logical reasoning part of

the brain can not compete with the chemicals of lust.

This is kind

of funny if you take a second. We invest so much into our thinking brain but in

matters of the heart and relationships it has to take a back set in the initial

critical stages.

Typically,

we are motivated and learn by way of our environment. Rewards and negative

consequences plus social media, throw in a healthy dose of FOMO (the fear of

missing out) and voila our lives are in a way being lived FOR us way more than

being lived BY us.

So where do

we start? In and with one of our most obvious yet elusive places…namely

ourselves. That’s right. Start with yourself. Do The Work. What work you ask?

The work of developing and building yourself. We spend our entire life building

the persona or side of our psersonality that we think we are supposed to be in

society and the world. We figure out how to behave in groups, school, a job a

family etc…we become really good at being what others want us to be and we

ehtink they want us t be. This game start very early in childhood and continues

on and on. Ony you can put on the brakes to this never ending frenzy and decide

to investigate who you actually are?

Wait…I know

who I am. I am person X who does This and likes that etc…yes that’s true but is

that really you?

How do you

even know if you know yourself? From the point of view of an emotional warrior,

you find inner peace and live authentically.

With enough

work you begin to live honestly. You master your emotions and live

intentionally. Joy and gratitude and appreciation become part of your day to

day. You become enmeshed in this life on this planet at this point in time.

Now, you

stop making other people into having to be The One. You can stop searching for

one in 7.8 billion. You become the One. You light shines so bright that anyone

and everyone else can see its beauty. Now the right person who has done their

share of their own work can find you and it can be love at first sight.

It is a lot

of emotional, spiritual, physical work. Many bumps in the road. Love is a

precious thing. How many songs, books and poems have been written about it. If

Want to Learn How to Increase Your Longevity? Download your Free ebook @ www.kaiehnes.com

Today's guest is Jeremy Sherman

Contact: www.jeremysherman.com

Join us for a provocative interview on the following topics:

The origins of life, chemically and physically

Humans are geared for symbols

Effort for the being, by the being

Human mind packs infinite possibilities into habits

Doubt raises things to consciousness

We want novelty

We want freedom - to upscale yet avoid pitfall

Freedom and Constraints

What is love?

Jeremy's book: What's up with A-holes: Advanced Psychoproctology for Beginners

Language is confirmation Bias

Learn how to Live Longer @ www.kaiehnes.com

Ep61 Huli

Huli…Can Turning BBQ Over Help My Emotional Transformation

Hello and Welcome

to the Way of the Emotional Warrior Podcast.

My name is Kai Ehnes and today we will be answering the question of Huli

Huli…how the flipping of BBQ can elevate our emotions game.

When I heard

this term, it instantly made me think about how it can help in terms of

personal transformation. Why??

Lets start

with what it means. Huli Huli is Hawaiian and means turn, turn. In 1955, Ernest Morgado, a Honolulu

businessman, served a group of farmers grilled chicken that had been marinated

in his mother’s teriyaki-style sauce. It was such a hit that he decided to

market it with the name “huli huli.”

Now you

might be wondering how huli huli has anything to do with emotional transformation,

right? Well, it means you can turn over parts of yourself that you might think

don’t need investigating. Lets look at you relationship for a second. Assume

that you think everything is going just fine. Huli huli would mean that you

lovingly ask your partner a question or two that you take for granted but might

be lacking in their world. I want to really stress that you have to be ok with

the answers that come back. But hey, truth is the right path.

So here is

an example. You are watching a movie with your love and the characters are

moving through their story line. One character tells the other that they often

feel lonely in their marriage.

Huli huli

means you have to turn turn your assumption about your relationship. Ask your

partner if they ever feel lonely in your relationship. Maybe they say yes. Now

you have a great opportunity to investigate further and make the changes that

will improve the relationship. On the other hand, maybe they say no. You might

think that you are off the hook but huli huli would say that you turn turn that

answer as well. Maybe you make more effort to offer comfort and support to your

love. Either way you are improving the basis of your relationship.

Huli huli is

a win. Turn over parts of ourself, your relationships, community, life

perspective…on and on

Maybe you

are thinking why not let sleeping dogs lie. Well, complacency is the hobgoblin

of little minds. As emotional warriors, it is our drive to leave no rock

unturned and clean up our Stuff.

Professor of

Neuroscience, Michael Platt, shared the following in an interview with the HR

Observer that:

1. Neuroscience research shows that opposing

brain circuits support routine and divergent thinking. Innovation thus requires

unplugging from rote tasks like email or filling out spreadsheets.

2. Neuroscience research suggests mindfulness meditation activates the

brain’s “innovation network” thereby boosting creativity. Brief mindfulness

exercises improve both creative problem-solving and protect against stress.

3. Brain research shows that decisions can be either fast or accurate,

but typically not both. There is a tradeoff between speed and accuracy.

Generally, stepping back and slowing down improves decisions.

The first

point of the brain circuits divergent thinking supports expanding your

emotional awareness. An emotional warrior can easily use huli huli to turn over

their routines and assumptions gaining creative insight on how to uplevel their

lives.

Emotional

mastery is complex. First there has to be awareness. Think of the old adage: If

it ain’t broke don’t fix it but that was improved years ago into the statement

if it ain’t broke, fix it anyway.

That’s what

this work is all about. Making yourself better and transforming your life is

what its all about.

Good luck on

your journey😊

~Peace

End: I hope

you enjoyed this episode and I will see you next time around…take care.

In invite you to Free copy of My ebook @ www.kaiehnes.com

Ep60 Playfulness

and Curiosity

Hello and Welcome

to the Way of the Emotional Warrior Podcast.

My name is Kai Ehnes and today we will be answering the question How can

you be more playful in your life?

Playfulness

just sounds wonderful doesn’t it? Kids do this so naturally. Adults frown upon

it because it is a thing of childhood and immaturity. A grown person can not indulge

in something so silly. Seriousness is the name of the game. If it isn’t serious

then it simply is not worthwhile.

What if we were

to look at this little bit differently. Why does play have to reserved only for

little children. Modern society frowns even upon teenagers being playful.

To me there

is a healthy balance when being playful as an adult. I am not advocating

shirking all responsibility and simply running off into the wild blue yonder.

However, it is very possible to simply shift your outlook a bit to seeing the

world as a place for us to play. In my world, my soul has come to this planet

to play. The work has to be done no matter what, that is part of being alive

but the way you approach the work will allow you to simply live with more joy.

Let’s say

you something breaks on your vehicle. Let’s say you have enough for a 200

dollar repair but the amount for the repair is triple that. A typical adult

will panic and immediately embrace fear, invoking scarcity thinking and thus not

be able to find a way to pay for the repair without having to sacrifice

something else that is needed.

How can you

be more playful with these “serious” adult problems?

Enter

curiosity. Let’s try this. Instead of telling yourself and the universe how

this repair bill is excessive and asking for ways to panic and not be able to

afford the amount, try breathing and slowing your roll. Next, ask some curiosity questions.

Like: I wonder

how this bill can be paid?

Wouldn’t it

be great to have several options of how to pay this bill easily and smoothly?

Or…try

shifting to gratitude…

I am

grateful that this repair bill is easily taken care of. I appreciate having a

safe vehicle for my family, myself, and other drivers.

Maybe play a

bit by having the questions come from the vehicle instead. Like:

The vehicle

says, thank you for fixing me now because otherwise the damage would have been

much greater.

Or…

I am so

happy to see my mechanic friend again. Thank you.

While all

this may sound crazy on one hand, perception and thinking are the name of the

game. The rules of the game are engineered to work in your favor when you

adhere to them. Money opportunities will come your way if you think, feel and

emote from a spiritually lawful place. Maybe you will think of something that

you can sell that is never used and taking up space in a closet or a room.

Maybe you will be offered a bonus. It all works this way.

Part of the

process is letting go of control over everything. This is a gripping energy

that is not part of spiritual law. I want to point out that none of this about

not caring or being dismissive. Quite the contrary, this about moving your own

intention in a direction that will allow you to prosper.

The neuroscience

is quite interesting for the idea of curiosity. Researchers like Schulz and

Bonawitz in 2007 and 2011, Piaget 1945, Loewenstein 1994 independently found

that people like to solve information gaps and are intrigued by novel and

unfamiliar items and settings.

This means

that we love to learn, explore and figure things out.

For an

emotional warrior this is very helpful. Mastering emotions is really about

emotional freedom. This in turn is what allows our souls to play. An emotional

warrior can incorporate playfulness and curiosity into their lives and live

freely and peacefully instead of being hijacked by fear and their amygdala.

Good luck.

~Peace

www.kaiehnes.com

Guest: Geralyn Gendreau

Book: Jungle Jean: The Biography of The Explorer Who Transformed Modern Parenting with The Continuum Concept

www.junglejean.com

www.geralyngendreau.com

Emotional Mastery

Mistake to fear emotions

Feelings - short term

Identify with it - thinking its you instead of something that happened to you

moods - can linger for a longer time

syndrome - identify with it so much that it can become a diagnosis

train yourself to not have to slide into the negative emotions so far

Self reflect, Self Correct

observe the consequences of your behavior

Some people release emotions and get over it

others are heavily impacted by other people's emotions

Genuine apology is about the remorse (digestive enzyme)

it allows the person to feel the apology deeply, then forgiveness comes naturally

Emotional Ecosystem

Dan Siegel - Interpersonal Neurobiology

impact each others' nervous systems with our emotions

triggers do not have to be personal

try saying "pass"

you know your system will regulate

you don't need to hold on to unnecessary suffering

Story from Geralyn's book, read by author

what we are trained as being awful

that moment in time when you have a choice

to not go down the painful route and instead take the other route

you can remain in your center, in your heart, in your joy

www.kaiehnes.com

Ep58 Interview with Dr. Debi Silber on Post Betrayal Transformation

Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute and is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert, the author of the #1 bestselling book: The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind and Life After a Life Crisis and her newest book: Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice) and more, she’s an award winning speaker, coach and author dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence and happiness they want most.

Founder: The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute

https://thepbtinstitute.com/ (https://thepbtinstitute.com)

Show Notes

PBT Instititute

Psychology of transformation and human potential

Betrayal - what holds us back - 3 groundbreaking discoveries

Gender applications

Women struggle with emotional betrayal, men with physical betrayal

Shame - is it me? Did I do something wrong?

Early Childhood betrayal

Tools

4 step trust rebuilding

Full healing means moving through 5 predictable stages

the setup stage

4 legs of table - physical, mental, spiritual, emotional

the shock

breakdown of body. mind, worldview - vulnerable to disease, illness and stress

Survival instincts emerge

you grab onto anything that works, it feels better

plant deep roots even though its not the right place

low level emotions

call in circumstances and relationships that confirm this

you resign yourself - food, TV, alcohol, drugs - in order to numb the situation

it becomes a habit, then lifestyle

Finding and adjusting to a new normal

not necessarily normal but you stopped the massive damage of stages 2+3

you leave your outgrown friends

Healing, rebirth, new world view

new experiences

solidly grounded because you focus on the 4 parts

TedX - transformation

something terrible happens - worst thing ever - you can mourn it as long as you like

if you choose to rebuild it, why would you rebuild it the same way

The Gift - trauma is the setup for transformation

you create a new identity

take with you what you like, leave behind what does not work

Victim mindset - stuck in stage 3

www.kaiehnes.com

Kai and Robert Riopel - Success Leaves a Clue

Hello and Welcome to the Way of the Emotional Warrior Podcast. My name is Kai Ehnes and today we will be having a great discussion with Robert Riopel.

Robert is a successful entrepreneur, coach, trainer, mentor…the list goes on. This is truly a fun interview. Robert makes it easy to believe in oneself that we can transform ourselves into an authentic life.

Robert Riopel links:

Free ebook: http://www.slac.rocks/book (www.slac.rocks/book)

http://www.RobertRiopel.com (www.RobertRiopel.com)

Facebook

Show notes

Entrepreneur, necessity

Failure vs Feedback

franchisee

spent more money than earned

personal development

financially independent

Transition to teaching financial freedom

Overdoing my passion

Negative non supportive habits

Learning to take care of yourself

Trains people

Emotional freedom is possible

Lost personal compass

How do you treat yourself

Be gentle

Ask for help – vulnerability

Vulnerability is a strength

Growth minded person

Willing to have tough conversation

Bouncing back from shockwave of Covid shutdown

Building training center

Programming of low self esteem

Find a mentor to model

They have achieved what you want

They will be the belief in you until you believe it yourself

What is your gift?

What brings you pleasure

People forget what they want to do and do what they have to

Truth is the greatest fear for doubt

Work from 9-5, create your life from 5 to 9

Difference between being busy and being productive

Block out Focus time

Emotionally draining if you don’t take care of yourself

Self centered vs centered in self

Find someone in alignment with your beliefs

Start with knowing who you are

Being you lets you help people who love you for being who you are

Releases emotional weight

Good luck.

~Peace

www.kaiehnes.com

Links to Rich Lewis

To receive my free centering prayer ebook: https://silenceteaches.com/ (https://silenceteaches.com/)

To learn more about my new book, Sitting with God: A Journey to Your True Self Through Centering Prayer: https://silenceteaches.com/about-the-books/ (https://silenceteaches.com/about-the-books/)

One on one coaching: https://silenceteaches.com/centering-prayer-one-one-coaching/ (https://silenceteaches.com/centering-prayer-one-one-coaching/)

Show Notes

Ep56 Kai and Rich Lewis – Centered Praying -Silence Teaches Us

http://www.silenceteaches.com (www.silenceteaches.com)

Centering Prayer

Meditation

Relationship with God

Helps you become who you really are

Remove inner competing voices that are not real

Authentic life for emotional warriors

How is silence a teacher?

Centering prayer

4 guidelines

Benefits to outside centering prayer time

Sacred word – deeper explanation

Not a mantra

Word should not be the focal point

Sacred method

Internal image

Breath

Stare at a spot in order to avoid falling asleep

You can’t fail if you “show up”

Reset button

Reconnect

Increase personal productivity