Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 103 - Boundaries Series: How to communicate your boundaries is now LIVE!
Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide
Communicating boundaries is an important part of the whole process. However, there may be a lot of hesitation regarding how to go about it that may prevent us from setting the boundary in the first place. Today we go through how to communicate a boundary, how to ask about other people’s boundaries and how setting boundaries can create more possibilities for our relationships.
In this episode, we cover…
How our boundaries get crossed frequently throughout our life, especially when we are children
How boundaries are crossed more in BBIMP (black, brown, indigenous and myelinated people coined by @AccordingToWeeze), transgender and other people in the LGBTQIA+ community or people who have a disability
How we are taught that our boundaries will be crossed and society doesn’t care
How we internalize our boundaries being consistently crossed as not being worthy of having our boundaries respected
How this may prevent us from communicating our boundaries
How enforcing our boundaries means that we are respecting our Value Need
How we do not have to communicate our boundaries if we do not feel that it is safe for us to do so
How a person with an unmet Personal Power Need might try to exert control over someone else by crossing their boundaries
A reminder that boundaries are not fixed, but change a lot of the time
How we need to be good at communicating what our boundaries are in the moment
How communicating boundaries may help us distance ourselves from situations or people we are not comfortable with but how they can also help to bring us closer to the people we wish to be more intimate with
How the way we communicate our boundaries makes a difference in the way they are received
The importance of making the boundary about us, our feelings and our needs when communicating it to the other person
The importance of explaining how the boundary we set will benefit the other person and letting them know if it is only relevant to where you’re at in that moment
How we don’t owe anyone any explanation and how it is our choice to offer one
How we might want to explain a boundary to the people closest to us as soon as we are aware of them
How communicating hard boundaries is best done ahead of time, in a neutral emotional space and why this is beneficial
Why we need to say “thank you” when when someone is setting a boundary with us
How boundaries are one of the tools a creator uses to shape their relationships
How having a relationship with someone who wants to know what our boundaries are and co-create boundaries that work for us can strengthen the relationship
How we don’t have to wait for someone to communicate a boundary with us. We can ask
How when we are good at setting boundaries, people will come to us more
How expectations and boundaries are closely related
How boundaries can create possibilities
How the more we set boundaries, the easier it gets and how we may want to introduce boundaries around small things first
How stating boundaries in a matter-of-fact way makes it less personal
How setting boundaries is a constant learning process
How having small boundaries honored can build trust
The importance of taking care of ourselves and the needs that have been impacted when one of our boundaries is crossed before you communicate about it if we can
The importance of having actions in mind if one of our boundaries is crossed and how there can be steps to those actions
How the action you take when a boundary is crossed doesn't necessarily need to be communicated and how that action might change depending on the situation
