Enneagram and Marriage

When Sex Feels Like One More Thing to Do


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Here Christa turns to a different weight so many couples carry: what happens when the body is simply depleted, exhausted, touched-out, and running on empty, and sex stops feeling like connection and starts feeling like one more thing on an endless list. Going under the hood of the dual control model, she explains why exhaustion is one of the most powerful brakes on desire there is, why the depleted nervous system treats wanting as a luxury it cannot afford, and why being touched-out after a day of being physically needed is real and physiological, not a character flaw or a lack of love. She names the trap couples fall into, that adding pressure to something already felt as a task only presses the brake harder, and offers the real way back: reducing the load, protecting rest, sharing the mental and physical labor, reintroducing warm no-agenda touch, and reframing intimacy as restoration rather than one more output. Because you cannot guilt a depleted body into desire, you can only refill it and let desire return. Warm, freeing, and deeply practical for anyone in a full, weary season. Listen here! Watch YouTube here!


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Enneagram and MarriageBy Christa Hardin, MA

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