“Habit eats willpower for breakfast.” As the apostle Paul says in Romans 7, we do the evil we don’t want to do, and we don’t do the good we want to do. Pastor and author John Ortberg joins Mark Labberton on Conversing to discuss his latest book Steps: A Guide to Transforming Your Life When Willpower Isn’t Enough. Drawing on decades of pastoral ministry, the wisdom of the Twelve Steps, and the profound influence of Dallas Willard, Ortberg explores the limits of willpower, the gift of desperation, and the hope of genuine transformation. With humour, honesty, and depth, he reflects on why human will is insufficient, why churches struggle to embody desperation, and how communities of honesty and grace can become places of real healing.

Episode Highlights

1. “Habit eats willpower for breakfast.”
2. “The first step is a deeply despairing step. I can’t, and it feels like hell and death—and that opens people up to God.”
3. “If you have a wimpy step one, you will have wimpy steps two through twelve.”
4. “Desperation really is a gift.”
5. “Failure and pain so often become helps in our meeting God.”

Helpful Links and Resources

• Find more from John Ortberg at becomenew.com
• John Ortberg, Steps: A Guide to Transforming Your Life When Willpower Isn’t Enough
• Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart
• Kent Dunnington, Addiction and Virtue: Beyond the Models of Disease and Choice
• Stephen R. Haynes, Why Can't Church Be More Like an AA Meeting?

About John Ortberg

John Ortberg is a pastor, speaker, and bestselling author dedicated to spiritual formation and transformation. He served as senior pastor at Menlo Church from 2003 to 2020, and has written numerous books, including The Life You’ve Always Wanted and Faith & Doubt. He studied at Wheaton College and Fuller Theological Seminary and has been a trustee at Fuller. His most recent book, Steps: A Guide to Transforming Your Life When Willpower Isn’t Enough, reframes the Twelve Steps as a wisdom tradition for all seeking deeper life with God.

Show Notes

• The Nature of Willpower and Habit
• John Ortberg reflects on Dallas Willard’s framework for understanding persons.
• “Habit eats willpower for breakfast.”
• The human will is essential, but terrifically weak when confronting sin, ego, or deep habits.
• The Gift of Desperation and the Twelve Steps
• First step: “We admitted we were powerless.”
• “The first step is a deeply despairing step. I can’t, and it feels like hell and death—and that opens people up to God.”
• Desperation becomes a gateway to spiritual power.
• “If you have a wimpy step one, you will have wimpy steps two through twelve.”
• Comparing church and AA
• Ortberg: “Desperation really is a gift.”
• The church often resists being a community of desperation.
• Honesty is not the same as desperation; both are needed for transformation.
• Why AA’s structure works: fellowship plus program.
• “Failure and pain so often become helps in our meeting God.”
• Storytelling and Transformation
• Testimonies and stories at the center of AA’s power.
• Why narrative makes meaning for human life.
• “Story is the essential unit of meaning for personhood.”
• Spiritual Practices and Confession
• Step 5: “Confess to God, ourselves, and one other person the exact nature of our wrongs.”
• John recalls confessing to a close friend: “John, I love you more right now than I’ve ever loved you before.”
• The liberating power of being fully known and loved.
• Addiction, Sin, and Disease
• The debate: is addiction a disease, a habitus, or sin?
• Disease language reduces shame but risks erasing agency.
• The overlap of sin, brokenness, and habit.
• The challenge of shame, judgment, and superiority in church contexts.
• Fellowship and Program
• “If you have program but not fellowship, you’re dead. If you have fellowship but not program, there is no hope.”
• AA as a model for church life: communal honesty plus concrete practices.
• The gospel calls for grace-filled action, not passivity.

Production Credits

Conversing is produced and distributed in partnership with Comment magazine and Fuller Seminary.