Where Do Gays Retire Podcast

🎙️ Uruguay for LGBTQ+ Expats: Permanent Residency, Public Healthcare, and Daily Life in Montevideo

Hosted by Mark Goldstein, Where Do Gays Retire

Uruguay has some of the strongest LGBTQ+ legal protections in the world, and almost nobody talks about it. Steven Guthrie noticed. When he started looking for somewhere outside the United States to build a life, Spain and Mexico were the obvious candidates. Both were also filling up fast, with rising housing costs and growing friction between newcomers and locals. He wanted somewhere his money would go far and stay that way.

A trip through Argentina and Chile, plus a detour into astrocartography, landed him in Montevideo in October 2022. He has been there ever since, now holding permanent residency and managing a growing LGBTQ+ immigrant community of roughly 160 people.

In this chat, Steven walks us through what daily life in Montevideo actually costs, how he navigated residency without a lawyer, what the public healthcare system covers, and why individualism will not serve you well in Uruguay.

🌟 What We Cover

• Why Steven ruled out Spain and Mexico, and what drew him to Uruguay instead
• Neighborhood by neighborhood: where to land first as a newcomer, and which areas feel most livable long term
• The climate reality, including a winter that gets colder than the palm trees suggest and a sun strength that surprises people from Florida
• Walkability, the bus network, and life without a car
• Carnival, candombe, murgas, and one of the longest celebrations in the world
• Honest trade-offs: the distance from the US, the absence of direct flights, and what Steven genuinely misses

🌈 LGBTQ+ Life

• Whether the day-to-day experience matches Uruguay's strong legal reputation, and where the gaps still are
• Building community from scratch: the WhatsApp group, monthly brunches, the gay men's chorus, and the resource website Steven's group launched
• Dating culture in Montevideo, and why relationships move faster than most Americans expect
• Gender affirming care and what is and is not available for trans residents

💰 Costs and Housing

• What a realistic monthly budget looks like, and what it buys
• Rent in the city center, utilities, and the imported goods that cost far more than you would expect
• Why Uruguay is one of the pricier countries in Latin America, and where the money still goes further than in the US

🏥 Healthcare

• The three systems explained: mutualistas, the public ASSE system, and how pre-existing conditions factor in
• HIV treatment access, PrEP availability, and the organization that helps new arrivals bridge their medication gap
• What to sort out before you move if you manage a chronic condition
• Language and healthcare: why Spanish matters more than finding an English speaking doctor

🛂 Visas and Residency

• The residency process step by step, and the documents that slow people down
• Steven's advice on relocation specialists, and why he says you do not need a lawyer
• The path to citizenship in five years, with no language test required
• Uruguay's ten-year tax holiday on foreign income

📊 Numbers Steven Shared

At the time of recording, Steven described a comfortable monthly budget of roughly $1,500 to $2,000 for a lifestyle similar to what most Americans expect. He pays around $850 a month for a two-bedroom apartment in the city center, with utilities typically running $50 to $75 depending on the season. He mentioned seeing refurbished apartments in the city center listed around $150,000. Private mutualista healthcare, as he understands it, runs roughly $50 to $70 a month, while the public ASSE system he uses has been free for him, including HIV medications, specialist visits, and lab work. He estimated relocation specialists charge somewhere between $1,000 and $2,000 per person. Costs vary by neighborhood, lifestyle, and exchange rate.

🔗 Resources Mentioned

• ASEPO, a Uruguayan organization that connects people with HIV to medical providers, testing, and medication
• Centro LGBTQ Uruguay, the community resource site Steven's group built for LGBTQ+ immigrants: centrolgbtquy.org
• Steven's TikTok, where he shares his experience of Uruguayan culture and cuisine: @stevensinfronteras

🎧 Listen Now

Find this episode and the full catalog at wheredogaysretire.com, covering destinations across Europe, Latin America, Asia, Africa, and more than forty US cities.

💬 Join the Conversation

Thinking about Montevideo and want to talk with people already living it? Steven's group welcomes questions from prospective immigrants at [email protected].

Are you an LGBTQ+ expat living in a destination you love? We would love to hear your story. The Where Do Gays Retire podcast is always looking for guests from affirming destinations around the world. Reach out to Mark at [email protected].

The information shared in this episode reflects the personal experiences of our guest and is for general informational purposes only. Costs, healthcare details, residency requirements, and tax rules described here reflect Steven's own experience at the time of recording and are not universal figures. Immigration policies, healthcare coverage, and tax regulations change frequently. Please consult qualified legal, medical, immigration, and financial professionals, or the appropriate Uruguayan consulate, before making any decisions about living or retiring abroad.

Retiring in Toulouse, France: Gay Life in the Pink City with Cameron Bray

In this episode, host Mark Goldstein sits down with Cameron Bray, an Australian-born, naturalized British citizen who has been living permanently in Toulouse, France for over ten years. Cameron arrived with a simple plan: stay three months, learn some French, and move on. That plan never quite worked out. He fell in love with the city, fell in love with a French partner, and never left. Now approaching 60, Cameron is a gay man who has built a full and thriving life in southwest France, founding his own international human resources consultancy and navigating French business life as a foreign entrepreneur. He hopes that by sharing his experience, he can inspire others to take that same leap.

Note on currency: as of June 21, 2026, 1 Euro equals approximately $1.15 USD. All figures in this episode are from Cameron's personal experience and reflect conditions at the time of recording.

What Is Toulouse

Toulouse is France's fourth largest metropolitan area and its fastest growing city, located in the southwest corner of the country near the Spanish border, roughly three hours northwest of Barcelona. Often called La Ville Rose, or the Pink City, the city earned its name from the distinctive long, thin red bricks used in its buildings throughout the region. In certain light, particularly at sunset, the bricks give the entire city a warm pink glow. The Garonne River runs through it. Views of the Pyrenees mountain range are visible from the city center.

Cameron describes Toulouse as a "Goldilocks city": not too big, not too small. At roughly 1.2 million people in the metro area, it has enough energy, ambience, and cultural life to feel vibrant, without the overwhelming scale of a major global city. It is also France's biggest university town outside of Paris, which gives it a youthful, buzzing street energy that Cameron says he still pinches himself about after a decade.

Why Cameron Chose It

Cameron did not plan to stay. He came on the recommendation of friends who had a small apartment there, with a flight to check out the Alliance Francaise language school. He had been made redundant as an HR director in Brighton, had recently come out of a long relationship, and had the financial cushion and the freedom to try something different. What was meant to be a three-month adventure became a permanent life. He describes the move as one driven by gut instinct rather than analysis, noting that over-thinking it might have sent him straight back to the airport.

LGBTQ+ Life

Toulouse and France more broadly have a deeply laissez-faire attitude toward sexuality. Cameron says he has never experienced discrimination, abuse, or felt unsafe walking the streets of Toulouse or anywhere else in France as a gay man, including in the countryside. France was one of the first countries to decriminalize homosexuality, and same-sex civil partnerships and marriages have been legal for over twenty years, with the same rights as heterosexual partnerships.

There is no defined gayborhood in Toulouse, and Cameron says that is very much a reflection of how accepted LGBTQ+ life is there: there is simply no need for one. Gay bars and venues exist, though Cameron notes, as in many cities around the world, the traditional scene has shifted with the rise of apps. Gay men and women live throughout the city and in the surrounding countryside. Cameron has friends, a gay couple, who live in a small rural village an hour and a half away and were welcomed by the mayor at the village festival with flowers and wine, the same as every other new resident.

Daily Life and Walkability

Toulouse is highly walkable, and Cameron describes his immediate neighborhood as a textbook example of what some urban planners now call the 15-minute city. His bakery is in the building. His butcher, fruit and vegetable shop, wine shop, pharmacy, supermarket, and tram stop are all within a few hundred yards. A fresh market takes place nearby daily.

Over the past decade, Toulouse has actively worked to remove cars from the historic city center, converting parking into bike lanes and creating shared pedestrian, cycling, and scooter spaces. The old city is a labyrinth of cobbled streets that was never really designed for cars in the first place. Cameron and his partner walk rather than drive and say they rarely take taxis anywhere within the city.

Food and Cafe Culture

Food culture in Toulouse is rural-based and deeply regional. The city is known for a few signature dishes: the saucisse de Toulouse, a thick, fatty sausage typically served with pureed potatoes; cassoulet, a hearty white bean stew with dark sausage and breadcrumbs that originated as farmhouse food; and anything involving duck, including confit and, yes, foie gras. Fresh markets are central to daily life, and most meals are cooked from scratch. Processed food is far less prevalent in supermarkets than in the US or Australia.

Cameron describes the French relationship with food as one of appreciation rather than consumption. Meals are structured: breakfast, then nothing, then lunch, then nothing, then dinner. Portion sizes are smaller. People eat slowly, talk about what they are eating, and treat wine and food as part of the conversation rather than just fuel. The result, Cameron observes with some bemusement, is that Toulouse is full of people eating rich food in large quantities and yet very few are obese.

The cafe culture in Toulouse is genuine. Coffee in the morning under plane trees, wine in the evening at a bar. The city is also France's largest university town outside of Paris, which means the streets stay lively, particularly on Thursday nights, which the locals call le petit weekend. Dinner tends to start around 7:30 to 8:00, preceded by a proper apero of charcuterie, cheese, bread, and wine that can last an hour or more on its own.

Language

Cameron arrived expecting Toulouse to be less English-friendly than Paris or Bordeaux. He was wrong. Because Airbus, the aviation company, is headquartered in Toulouse, and because American firms like Pratt and Whitney and Rockwell Collins have a major presence there as well, English is widely spoken throughout the city. The European Space Agency is also based there. Signs at the airport and many local businesses operate bilingually. Cameron says that when he first arrived and tried his schoolboy French, shopkeepers would often just switch straight to English.

That said, Cameron strongly recommends making a genuine effort with the language. The French appreciate the attempt, even if they complete the sentence for you. He adds that younger French people today are notably more fluent in English than the older generation, and that Toulouse in particular has an internationally-minded feel that makes it more accessible for non-French speakers than many French cities.

Costs and Housing

Cameron owns a one-bedroom apartment in Toulouse with views of the Garonne River and the Pyrenees, a terrace, a garage, and a cellar. He paid 190,000 euros (approximately $218,500 USD) for it three years ago. His annual electricity bill runs around 400 euros (approximately $460 USD) for two people, in part because of favorable sun exposure in winter. His internet, phone, and basic television package runs approximately 40 euros a month (approximately $46 USD). His mobile phone plan costs around 15 euros a month (approximately $17 USD).

Public transport within Toulouse is 2 euros per trip for the subway or bus, and free for seniors. Train travel across the region is one euro on the first Sunday of every month, a government initiative to help people with fewer means stay connected. All museums are free that same Sunday. Cameron describes France's socialist economic model as providing a genuine cushion: during the energy crisis triggered by the war in Ukraine, electricity prices in France rose only 4 percent while UK prices spiked 54 percent, because the French government owns its energy suppliers and capped price increases.

French property culture is notably different from the Anglo world. Property here is bought to live in, not to flip. Prices rise slowly. Cameron says the expectation of making a fast profit on real estate simply does not exist in France the way it does in the US or Australia, and he sees that as a feature rather than a bug.

Healthcare

France operates a universal healthcare system. If you are sick, you will be seen and treated regardless of your ability to pay. Cameron describes five hospital visits for conjunctivitis earlier this year: he walked in, was treated, and walked out each time without a bill. Emergency and life-critical care is covered entirely by the state. Some medications require a small co-pay; others are free.

Most residents supplement the public system with a mutuelle, a top-up private insurance that covers things like a private hospital room, dental, physiotherapy, and osteopathy. Cameron pays 60 euros a month (approximately $69 USD) for his mutuelle. He emphasizes this is not like American private health insurance: the mutuelle covers what the state does not, rather than replacing the state system entirely.

For new arrivals, getting into the French health system takes patience. Cameron waited nine months to receive his health card. Bureaucracy is a real hurdle, and the administration does not make the process intuitive. However, once you are in the system, it is reliable. A colonoscopy consultation for Cameron's partner, who has a family history of colon cancer, was booked about four months out, which Cameron considers reasonable for a non-urgent specialist appointment. He notes that dermatology has particularly long waits, while cancer care is exceptional: Toulouse is home to one of the largest cancer hospitals in France.

English-speaking doctors and dentists are available in Toulouse, and Cameron had a friend receive a prescription via a telehealth consultation, dispensed at the local pharmacy for roughly 20 euros, covered at French rates.

Visas and Residency

Non-EU citizens looking to retire to France will generally need a long-stay visa. The requirements include proof of self-funded income, typically around 1,400 to 1,500 euros per month (approximately $1,610 to $1,725 USD) from Social Security, pensions, IRA withdrawals, savings, or rental income; proof of health insurance to a minimum value of approximately 30,000 euros per year; and confirmation of accommodation. You must also demonstrate that you are not intending to work.

After three months in France, you can apply to enter the PUMA health system. As a foreign retiree, you will pay into it and receive approximately 70 percent of eligible costs reimbursed. Getting through the initial registration process takes time, typically around nine months, and involves considerable paperwork. Cameron describes it as a "French nightmare" you must get through in order to reach the French dream. Persistence matters more than perfection.

After five years, residents can apply for permanent residency, which is valid for ten years and renewable. Cameron recently renewed his, having first obtained it through Brexit protections as a British citizen. He notes that France now requires applicants for permanent residency to demonstrate French language skills at roughly a primary school level (approximately B2 on the CEFR scale), a relatively new requirement that reflects a broader European trend toward language integration standards.

Cameron also mentions that EU passport holders, including those who qualify through ancestry from an EU country, can move to France freely without a visa, much like moving between US states.

Arts, Culture, and Community

Toulouse has a dense cultural calendar. An opera house, multiple theaters, cinemas, a major music auditorium that draws international acts, and an annual organ festival in October that opens the city's historic churches to concerts ranging from classical to Queen. The Fete de la Musique on June 21st fills every street, cafe, and courtyard with live music through the night. The Musee des Augustins, a museum comparable in scope to a smaller Louvre, recently reopened after a four-year renovation. There is also a space museum tied to the European Space Agency and an aviation museum tied to Airbus.

Museums are free on the first Sunday of each month. Cameron says you could go out every night of the week in Toulouse and never repeat yourself.

Honest Trade-Offs

Toulouse is not Paris, and Cameron makes no apology for that. If you are looking for Hausmann-style grandeur, the Eiffel Tower, or Emily in Paris, this is the wrong city. But he argues that the version of France most people imagine from films and television is not what most French people actually live. Toulouse is warmer, looser, more relaxed, and more genuinely welcoming than its international reputation might suggest.

The French bureaucratic system is a significant challenge for new arrivals. Getting into the healthcare system, the driving license system, the tax system, and the residency system all require patience, persistence, and a very large paper trail. Cameron says the phrase "bureaucracy is a French word" is not a cliche but a lived reality, and new arrivals should plan for nine to twelve months of paperwork before things normalize.

Summers are hot, hovering around 40 degrees Celsius (approximately 104 Fahrenheit) during heat waves, and climate change is making those heat waves longer. Most of the older building stock in the city center does not have air conditioning, though the thick brick construction keeps interiors cool in most conditions.

Language is the other significant trade-off. While Toulouse is more English-friendly than expected, integration into French life requires some French. Cameron's advice: come in with respect for the culture, drop the expectation that things will work the way they do at home, and make the effort. The French will meet you more than halfway if you do.

Cameron's parting thought: "Come and try it. Come and visit. Follow your heart. France is the most visited country in the world for a reason. Get out of Paris. Get into the provincial cities, the little towns, the villages. Come with an open heart and mind and an empty stomach, and just go for it."

Resources Mentioned

Airbus, headquartered in Toulouse: airbus.com

European Space Agency, Toulouse: esa.int

Alliance Française language schools: alliancefrancaise.fr

Air Doctor (telehealth platform for travelers): airdoctor.com

Listen Now

Join the Conversation www.wheredogaysretire.com

Have you spent time in Toulouse or the south of France? Is France on your radar for retirement or relocation? We would love to hear from you in the Where Do Gays Retire Facebook community.

facebook.com/groups/GayRetirementPlaces

Have a question for Mark? Submit it at wheredogaysretire.com/contact

Warmly,

Mark Goldstein

Host, Where Do Gays Retire

Stay Connected: wheredogaysretire.com | [email protected]

The information in this episode reflects the guest's personal experience at the time of recording. Visa requirements, healthcare costs, and currency exchange rates are subject to change. Always consult qualified legal, financial, and immigration professionals before making any relocation decisions.

Is Lyon, France the Most Livable City in Europe for Gay Retirees? With Eric Way

In this episode, host Mark Goldstein sits down with Eric Way, a Tennessee-born engineer who arrived in Lyon, France, in 1989 as a university exchange student and never left. Now approaching his 38th year in the city, Eric lives downtown in a 19th-century apartment with his French architect husband and splits time between Lyon and a farmhouse they own in the French Alps. He brings a rare depth of perspective: nearly four decades as an American expat, a career in corporate diversity and inclusion, and a front-row seat to how Lyon has evolved as a livable, gay-friendly city.

This episode covers what it actually looks like to build a life in Lyon: the walkability, the world-ranked healthcare, the cost of living compared to Paris, the LGBTQ+ scene, the visa path, and the honest trade-offs.

What Is Lyon

Lyon is France's third-largest city, located in southeastern France at the confluence of the Rhône and Saône rivers, a geographic feature that gives the city two riverfront parks and a distinctive linear layout. It sits roughly two hours south of Paris by high-speed train and serves as a hub for reaching the French Alps, the Beaujolais wine region, Burgundy, the Riviera, and even Barcelona. The historic center, known as the Presqu'île (the peninsula), is a UNESCO World Heritage site dating back to the Renaissance and the Middle Ages. Lyon is widely considered the gastronomic capital of France.

Why Eric Chose Lyon

Eric arrived in 1989 on a one-year university exchange program and found something he did not expect: a city whose values matched his own. Coming from a fundamentalist Christian family in Tennessee and still in the process of coming out, he discovered in Lyon a culture of live-and-let-live tolerance that felt, in his words, freer than the United States. He stayed. A few years later, he met his husband. The rest, as he says, is history.

LGBTQ+ Life

Lyon has a visible but modest LGBTQ+ scene concentrated around the City Hall area on the Presqu'île. At the time of recording, there are two gay bars, a gay sauna, a sex club, and a bear bar reportedly opening within months. There is a city-sponsored LGBTQ+ center and an annual Pride march, though Eric notes that Lyon Pride has become more politically divided in recent years, with some organizers now refusing corporate participation. The broader city is deeply accepting. Eric and his husband have lived part-time in a 250-person Alpine village for years and describe being fully adopted by their elderly neighbors without a moment of discomfort. Among their friend group, gay and straight friendships naturally overlap, though, like many couples without children, their closest circle has become predominantly other gay couples over time.

Daily Life and Walkability

Eric's doctor is three blocks away. His pharmacy, organic grocery store, bank, bakery, butcher, and eye care are all within one to two blocks. Outdoor markets run on Wednesdays and Sundays in his neighborhood. The metro system is efficient and growing, with a tram network expanding even faster. A single ticket costs approximately 2.30 euros and covers one hour of travel. Monthly passes run around 100 euros. Seniors receive rail discounts starting at age 60, often allowing first-class travel at second-class prices.

Eric drives his older car into Lyon no more than 52 times per year under a city environmental permit system, which he now finds perfectly adequate since he is no longer working. Lyon's riverfront parks, pedestrian streets, and walkable neighborhoods make car ownership largely optional for daily life.

Costs and Housing

Lyon is typically half the price of Paris for both rent and property. Eric and his husband purchased their 800-square-foot, two-bedroom downtown apartment approximately 30 years ago for about $35,000. It is now worth roughly ten times that. Their monthly electricity bill runs approximately 70 to 80 euros every two months; gas adds about 45 euros on top of that. France applies a 20% VAT on most purchases, which is worth factoring into any cost-of-living comparison.

Healthcare

France's healthcare system consistently ranks first in the world for quality, accessibility, and cost. A standard doctor visit costs 30 euros; specialist visits range from 70 to over 100 euros. Foreign residents access coverage through PUMA, France's universal health coverage, which applies to legal residents regardless of employment status. Most residents also carry a Mutuelle, a supplementary top-up insurance policy that covers what the national system does not. Eric pays approximately 250 euros per month for a Mutuelle covering both himself and his husband.

Visas and Residency

The standard route for American retirees is a long-stay visitor visa, applied for through the French consulate in the United States before departure. Residents typically start with one-year renewals before eventually qualifying for a ten-year card. Eric notes that a recent change to French law has removed the citizenship pathway for non-working residents. Americans retiring to France on a visitor visa are unlikely to be eligible for naturalization under the current rules.

France does not officially recognize a digital nomad visa. Eric cautions anyone planning to work remotely in France to take legal advice before doing so, as working without proper authorization carries real risk.

Taxes

The US-France tax treaty is highly favorable for American retirees. If your income is US-sourced, France will generally not tax it, and you will continue paying US rates. Eric recommends working with both a US tax preparer and a French one, particularly for the first few years.

One specific flag: France does not recognize trusts. If you have a trust established in the United States, you need professional advice before moving to France, as it will be taxed very unfavorably and may fall outside the treaty's protections.

France also has a wealth tax on real estate holdings above approximately 1.2 million euros, and forced heirship laws that entitle children to a portion of your estate regardless of your wishes. Both are worth understanding before making the move.

Crime and Safety

Eric has lived in Lyon's city center for nearly four decades and describes feeling consistently safe. In that entire time, he recalls one incident in which he and his husband were briefly followed downtown and had to walk away quickly. France has a higher rate of property crime relative to the United States, but a significantly lower rate of violent crime and essentially no gun violence outside of hunting contexts. Responsible gun ownership is legally required: pistols for target shooting require a course and registration.

Arts, Culture, and Community

Lyon has the second-largest fine arts museum in France outside the Louvre, a national orchestra, a Jean Nouvel-designed opera house, the Maison de la Danse (an internationally renowned contemporary dance center with a biennial festival), and rotating modern art exhibitions in repurposed industrial spaces. The Festival of Lights each December transforms the city's buildings into a four-day sound-and-light spectacle. June 21 brings the Fête de la Musique, a nationwide outdoor concert event where every square in the city fills with live music from classical to rock to jazz.

What to Know Before You Go

French is essential. Eric is direct about this: people who arrive expecting to get by on a few phrases or believing fluency will come by osmosis are setting themselves up for frustration and social isolation. He recommends investing in one-on-one instruction before you arrive, not after. Jumpspeak is his suggested app for building conversational fluency.

The climate has four seasons: mild winters with rare snow, pleasant springs and autumns, and summers that are warming noticeably due to climate change. Eric manages without air conditioning through insulation techniques, though newer and renovated buildings increasingly have heat pumps that provide cooling as a byproduct.

Lyon rewards people who want to get out and explore. The city sits at the gateway to the Alps, Burgundy, Beaujolais, Provence, the Riviera, Switzerland, and Italy. Eric and his husband once went bungee jumping in the Alps, drove to Italy for pasta for dinner, and were home in Lyon that night. For those who prefer to stay closer to home, the outdoor markets, river walks, and restaurant scene are enough to fill a very good life.

Resources Mentioned

Presqu'ile: Lyon's central peninsula neighborhood between the Rhone and Saone rivers Perrache: The original Lyon train station, three minutes from Eric's apartment Fourviere: The hilltop with Lyon's famous basilica and Roman ruins Beaujolais vineyards: 30 minutes from Lyon; beautiful in autumn Albertville: Near Eric's Alpine farmhouse; site of the 1992 Winter Olympics Festival of Lights (Fete des Lumieres): Annual four-day light installation festival each December Fete de la Musique: June 21, nationwide outdoor music festival Maison de la Danse: Lyon's internationally recognized contemporary dance center PUMA: France's universal health coverage for residents Mutuelle: Supplementary insurance that tops up public healthcare coverage PACS: French civil partnership; same tax treatment as marriage, with one exception: survivor pension rights do not transfer unless married Jumpspeak: Language learning app recommended by Eric for conversational French

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The information shared in this episode reflects the personal experience of our guest and is not intended as legal, financial, or medical advice. Please consult qualified professionals before making any decisions about international relocation, visa applications, healthcare, or financial planning.

Retiring as a Single Lesbian in Setúbal, Portugal: Finding Community Beyond Lisbon

Guest: Jules de Mello | Host: Mark Goldstein

When Jules de Mello retired after a 27-year career as a federal criminal investigator, she went looking for a sunny, walkable place near the water where she could build a full life on her own terms. Lisbon was the plan, until the rents priced her out. Then she discovered Setúbal, a working port city on the cusp of its own renaissance, and never looked back.

In this conversation, Jules opens up about what it really takes to retire as a single lesbian abroad: finding her people, and often building community from scratch, navigating a country that is warmly accepting but culturally reserved, and weighing the honest trade-offs of starting over solo in a place where you do not yet speak the language. It is a warm, practical, and refreshingly candid look at one of Portugal's most underrated cities.

Meet Jules

Jules spent 27 years as a federal criminal investigator across several U.S. agencies before retiring in 2022. With Azorean roots on her great-grandfather's side, Portugal had always called to her. She first scouted the country in 2018, arrived permanently in Setúbal in April 2023, and soon became a self-described "connector," co-founding the Setúbal Pride meetup to bring locals, women, trans, and non-binary folks together in a community that had mostly orbited Lisbon before.

In this episode

• 00:00 Introduction: from federal investigator to Setúbal
• 04:02 The 2018 trip that planted the seed
• 06:48 Priced out of Lisbon
• 09:31 Renting vs. buying in Portugal
• 13:41 What Setúbal is really like
• 17:46 Climate and the seasons
• 24:00 Building queer community and founding Setúbal Pride
• 29:31 LGBTQ+ acceptance and local culture
• 33:53 Cost of living: rent and housing
• 44:55 Utilities, internet, and getting around
• 48:30 Food, markets, and the daily lunch special
• 55:16 Walkability and transportation
• 1:06:06 Healthcare: public, private, and Medicare
• 1:25:39 Dining, wine, and café culture
• 1:31:14 Visas and residency
• 1:39:18 Honest trade-offs and final advice

What you'll learn

Why Setúbal, and not Lisbon? A medium-sized port city of roughly 140,000 people, Setúbal sits on an estuary with the Arrábida Nature Reserve rising behind it. Jules compares the feel to standing at the water's edge in Seattle, looking back at the hills. Downtown is flat and walkable, the covered market is considered one of the best in Portugal, and you are a short drive or train ride from Lisbon without paying Lisbon prices.

What acceptance actually looks like. Portugal is legally progressive, with marriage equality and legal abortion that both predate the United States, but the culture is reserved and private. As Jules puts it, you can show up exactly as you are and be accepted, without anyone needing to label it or make a fuss. Older generations who lived under the dictatorship tend to be more guarded, while younger people simply do not think twice.

The reality of building community. Finding the LGBTQ+ community as a single woman took real effort. Jules and a friend started the Setúbal Pride meetup in early 2024, hosting tea dances, potlucks, film nights, and gatherings designed to be diverse and welcoming. Her honest take: lesbians and gay men often socialize differently, and the language and cultural barriers add another layer, so she had to become the initiator rather than wait for community to find her.

Walkability with caveats. Downtown is flat, and you can reach the butcher, the market, the pharmacy, and your doctor on foot, supported by a strong local bus system. But the cobblestone calçadas are uneven and tough on anyone with mobility challenges, so comfortable, flat walking shoes are not optional.

Healthcare, honestly explained. Once you live in Portugal, you are covered under the public system, and many residents also carry private insurance. The two systems run in parallel and do not really talk to each other. Trauma and emergencies are routed through the public hospital, while private insurance speeds up elective procedures that would otherwise mean long public waitlists. Almost every physician speaks English, though front-desk staff and nurses often do not, so a translation app becomes part of every appointment.

A practical snapshot

These are the figures Jules shared from her own experience around the time of recording. Treat them as a starting point, not a quote: costs shift with the market, and euro amounts convert to dollars at the current exchange rate.

• Rent (1 to 2 bedrooms): roughly 700 to 1,200 euros per month, rising toward 1,900 for newer units with modern amenities like a garage and air conditioning. Many traditional apartments come without appliances or a dryer (clothes dry on the line).
• Internet, phone, and TV bundle: around 50 euros per month for high-speed fiber.
• Electricity: can climb to about 200 euros in the hottest summer month if you run air conditioning heavily. Electricity and gasoline are both expensive; gas runs roughly 2 euros per liter, which Jules estimates at nearly 10 dollars per gallon.
• The daily lunch special (prato do dia): about 12 to 13 euros for several courses, often including bread, olives, a main, dessert, coffee, and wine.
• Private health insurance: roughly 100 euros per month under age 60, climbing to around 200 in your sixties. Only one private insurer in Portugal will enroll people over 70, though existing policyholders are generally kept on.

Jules came on the D7 visa, sometimes called the retiree or passive-income visa. Her path: initial approval valid for 2 years, followed by a 3-year renewal, with the option to apply for permanent residency after 5 years of legal residence. She applied through the VFS vendor that handles Portuguese consular appointments in the U.S., interviewed in Washington, D.C., and saw approval in about 60 days, though timelines vary widely by consulate and can stretch to many months if documents expire mid-process.

Important accuracy note on citizenship. Jules mentions that the path to Portuguese citizenship was extended from 5 to 10 years. We confirmed this: Portugal's Parliament approved a revised Nationality Law on April 1, 2026, and the President signed it on May 3, 2026, raising the residency requirement for naturalization to ten years for most non-EU nationals and seven years for EU and Portuguese-speaking (CPLP) nationals, with the residency clock now counting from the issuance of your first residence permit. Some details, including the exact effective date upon official publication and how the change applies to people already in the pipeline, were still being settled at the time of recording, and a constitutional challenge had been filed. This is a fast-moving and consequential area, so if citizenship is part of your plan, please confirm the current rules with a qualified Portuguese immigration attorney before making decisions. Permanent residency after five years is a separate process from citizenship.

Jules on the honest trade-off

The hardest thing she gave up was the ease of finding community. Back home, queer life came with built-in hiking groups, dinner clubs, and shows to attend together. In Setúbal, she had to build that herself, and she has, becoming the bridge-builder her Portuguese choir mates now thank for getting everyone out the door. Her advice for anyone considering the move: visit beyond the vacation version, stay in a real neighborhood, do your own grocery run, and feel what daily life is honestly like before you commit. And, in the spirit of a friend who lives by it, say yes to every invitation.

Listen and connect

Listen to the full conversation wherever you get your podcasts, and explore more LGBTQ+ retirement destinations at wheredogaysretire.com.

Have a question about retiring abroad or a destination you'd like us to cover? Reach out through the website and join the conversation in our Facebook community. https://www.facebook.com/groups/GayRetirementPlaces

"This was a wonderful, beautiful place to land. And I like sharing it with other people, because it's that good." — Jules de Mello

🎙️ Where Do Gays Retire Podcast

Transgender in Mexico: Living Authentically Abroad

Guest: Stephanie Byers |Host: Mark Goldstein

What does it actually feel like to walk down the street as a trans woman in a small Mexican lakeside town, and have nobody give you a second glance? That's the reality Stephanie Byers describes in this deeply moving and eye-opening episode. Stephanie, a former Kansas state legislator, GLSEN National Educator of the Year, and the first transgender Native American ever elected to a U.S. state legislature, and her wife Lori now call Ajijic, Mexico, home. And she says it's the freest she has ever felt.

Whether you're trans, LGBTQ+, or simply curious about what life looks like on the shores of Lake Chapala, this episode is for you. Stephanie holds nothing back, from the paperwork to the pharmacies to the cost of a knee replacement to the neighbor who shows up with a walker before you even get home from the hospital.

Stephanie Byers is a 63-year-old trans woman, Native American, educator, activist, and trailblazer. Here are a few highlights from her remarkable life:

• Spent 32 years teaching band and orchestra, including 29 years in Wichita, Kansas, and 28 of those at a single high school.
• Began living authentically in 2014, describing it not as a transition but as simply allowing the world to finally see who she had always been.
• Named the GLSEN National Educator of the Year in 2018. Her students celebrated by replacing toilet paper in 100-year-old oak trees with rainbow streamers.
• Spoke on the steps of the U.S. Supreme Court during the landmark Bostock v. Clayton County hearings, the case that redefined "on the basis of sex" to include sexual orientation and gender identity.
• In 2020, became the first transgender Native American ever elected to a U.S. state legislature, serving in the Kansas House of Representatives.
• After her legislative term, she and her wife, Lori, moved to San Antonio, Texas, to care for Lori's aging parents.
• In March 2025, Stephanie and Lori moved to Riberas del Pilar on the shores of Lake Chapala, just outside Ajijic, Mexico.

Stephanie describes the Ajijic expat community as overwhelmingly liberal and affirming, with a thriving LGBTQ+ presence:

• The transgender expat community is actively growing. Stephanie knows multiple trans women, trans men, and non-binary people living in the area.
• The local attitude is best described as live and let live. Walking down the street, Stephanie is simply "a woman" to the people she passes.
• Occasional misgendering happens, but Stephanie attributes it almost entirely to language translation rather than intention. Spanish uses "su" for he, she, and it, so nuance can get lost.
• The expat community is notably protective of its LGBTQ+ members. When uncomfortable moments arise, people show up.
• A Queer Women of Lake Chapala group and a Queer Men of Lake Chapala group both meet weekly.
• Westboro Baptist Church has protested Stephanie three times in her life. None of that energy exists here.
• Stephanie wears her beaded trans pride earrings made in the style of Southeast Native American nations, and no one notices. "They just match my shirt."

One of the most practical topics in this episode, and one of the most reassuring:

• Gender-affirming medications are available over the counter at local pharmacies, no prescription required. Stephanie walked in, asked for estradiol 2mg tablets, and walked out with them.
• Progesterone is available through a mail-order pharmacy with no prescription.
• Costs are lower than paying out of pocket in the U.S., and significantly less than what many U.S. insurance plans now charge, if they cover transgender medications at all.
• Stephanie has not yet needed to see a physician for trans-related care, but trans women she knows locally report no issues accessing care.
• Specialist physicians in Guadalajara focus specifically on transgender healthcare.
• Most doctors speak English. Staff may not, but translation apps fill the gap.
• Lori's total knee replacement at a private hospital in Guadalajara, including the physician, hospital, and everything else, cost $12,000. The same procedure in the U.S. would easily exceed $100,000.

• Stephanie applied for her temporary residency visa at the Mexican consulate in Houston (appointments in San Antonio were unavailable for months). She brought bank statements, pension letters, and proof of income.
• Once approved at the consulate, you complete the process in Mexico at an immigration office through a process called a canje (C-A-N-J-E), often with help from a local facilitator.
• Stephanie and Lori are now in the third year of their three-year temporary residency (residente temporal), having completed their first year.
• After a total of five years, permanent residency (permanente) becomes available.
• For trans women: Stephanie's U.S. passport already reflects her female identity, which made the process smooth. She notes that the situation may be more complex for someone whose documentation was recently changed back.
• U.S.-plated vehicles can be driven in Mexico under a temporary import permit. For permanent residency, the vehicle must be imported and plated in Mexico, so many expats sell their U.S. vehicles before that point.
• Residency financial requirements changed after Stephanie applied. Working with a consulate or immigration attorney is strongly recommended.
• Appointment availability varies widely by consulate. Stephanie applied at multiple consulates simultaneously, including Houston, New Orleans, and Oklahoma City.

• Stephanie and Lori live in Riberas del Pilar, an unincorporated lakeside community between San Antonio Tlaquepaque and Chapala Centro, about 150 yards from Lake Chapala.
• The area is within walking distance of a pharmacy, grocery stores (including Poncho's, an American-style market), restaurants, and an optometrist.
• Streets are cobblestone and can be uneven. Sidewalks exist but vary in height. Caution is advised, especially on hills.
• East-west travel is fairly flat. Everything slopes toward the lake.
• Public buses run throughout the area. Bicycles are common.
• Ajijic is a Pueblo Mágico, the Mexican government's designation for towns of significant cultural and historical value.
• The Lake Chapala area stretches from Jocotepec in the west to Chapala Centro in the east, with Ajijic and several smaller communities in between.
• Roughly 30,000 expats from approximately 40 countries live in the area. The majority are American or Canadian.

• Stephanie estimates their overall cost of living is about one-third of what it was in San Antonio, Texas.
• Their three-bedroom, one-story home with a small yard and gated parking for two cars rents for $1,200 per month.
• Annual water bill: approximately 15,000 pesos, or roughly $750 for the year.
• Monthly propane (used for cooking and hot water): approximately $30.
• Electric bill during peak summer with air conditioning: approximately $175 per month.
• American brand groceries cost more. Local and Mexican-made products are significantly cheaper.
• Fresh tortillas are inexpensive and everywhere. Local produce is abundant.
• Exchange rate at time of recording: approximately 17.4 pesos to 1 U.S. dollar.
• Some places are cash only. Tap-to-pay exists, but connectivity can be inconsistent.
• Gas is sold by the liter and is attendant-pumped. Tipping the attendant is customary.
• No Mexican income tax if your income is sourced outside Mexico. U.S. filers continue to file only U.S. taxes.

• The arts community is extraordinary. Stephanie served as assistant music director and played trombone in the pit for a community theater production of Something Rotten.
• There is a symphony orchestra, multiple choral programs (auditioned but inclusive), and several theater groups.
• Lori is an active member of Artists of Lake Chapala, which holds markets, shows, and studio visits.
• The community includes retired photographers from the New York fashion industry, as well as composers, choreographers, and musicians with major-label experience.
• A chain of locally owned French bakeries operates in the area, with a master chef from France.
• There is a Walmart and a Soriana (a Mexican grocery chain similar to Walmart) for everyday shopping.
• The community spirit is remarkable. When Lori came home from knee replacement surgery, a walker had been dropped off, and food was waiting.
• Stephanie describes it as the illusion of a 1950s small town, except it's real and it's inclusive.

• If your U.S. documentation reflects your correct identity, the immigration process should be straightforward.
• The adjective "trans" tends to drop away in daily life. Most local Mexicans simply address Stephanie as a woman.
• Tap water is not safe to drink. Most residents use filtered water delivery (a 20-liter garafon costs about 28 pesos, roughly $1.60).
• Ice at restaurants is generally made from filtered water and has been fine in Stephanie's experience.
• Fountain drinks, fast food, and certain American grocery staples are either unavailable locally or require a trip to Guadalajara.
• Cooking at altitude (approximately 5,000 feet) requires adjustments. Many expats follow Colorado State University's high-altitude recipes.
• Driving requires patience. Many streets are narrow cobblestone and effectively one-way due to parked cars.
• Language barrier is manageable. Most professionals speak English, and translation apps handle the rest.
• Bring patience for bureaucracy. Immigration appointments can be hard to get, and requirements can shift.

Find this episode wherever you listen to podcasts:

• wheredogaysretire.com
• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• iHeartRadio
• Amazon Music
• YouTube

Do you have questions for Stephanie about life as a trans woman in Ajijic or the Lake Chapala area? She has generously offered to respond. Reach out to Mark at [email protected] and he will pass your questions along.

Are you an LGBTQ+ expat living in a destination you love? We'd love to hear your story. The Where Do Gays Retire podcast is always looking for guests from affirming destinations around the world.

"I wish that she would learn to live her life out of love and not fear."

— Stephanie Byers

Living the Slow Life: Retiring in Cuenca, Ecuador with William Hutter

What if the secret to a fulfilling retirement was simply slowing down? William Hutter didn't plan to fall in love with Cuenca, Ecuador. He went to visit his husband's hometown and kept crying every time he had to leave. Eventually, he stopped leaving.

In this episode, William shares what life is really like in one of South America's most livable cities for LGBTQ+ expats. A therapist and educator by training, William brings both personal warmth and honest reflection to everything from the $235-a-year private health insurance to the night watchmen who bicycle through his neighborhood blowing a whistle. This is one of the most grounded, real-world conversations we've had on the show.

What We Cover:

* How William ended up in Cuenca and why it felt like home from the very first visit

* The city's geography, elevation, and why "eternal spring" is more than just a marketing phrase

* Cost of living in 2024, including what's changed as more expats have arrived

* Housing options, from renting in the city center to buying a two-bedroom condo for under $180,000

* The healthcare system, including $235-a-year private insurance that covers dental and vision, no questions asked about pre-existing conditions

* LGBTQ+ life, visibility, and safety, including holding hands in public and a brand new Pride parade

* Visa and residency options for retirees, with a look at the investment visa, marital visa, and path to citizenship

* Walkability, the 35-cent tram, and why Uber doesn't exist in Cuenca

* Food culture, from fresh markets and guinea pig to the best pistachio ice cream you'll ever have

* The honest trade-offs, including inconsistent sidewalks, occasional brownouts, and the need for flexibility

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction to William Hutter and his unexpected path to Cuenca

02:13 - Why William cried every time he had to leave

04:02 - What most people get wrong about Cuenca

05:00 - Three words that describe Cuenca: relational, walkable, grounded

06:00 - Who thrives in Cuenca and who struggles

09:33 - Geography, elevation, and surrounding landscape

10:23 - Climate, green spaces, and year-round spring

12:19 - Humidity, weather patterns, and proximity to the coast

15:30 - Cost of living and how expat growth is changing prices

17:15 - Rental and purchase prices, city center vs. outside

19:18 - What a retired couple actually needs to live comfortably

22:05 - Utilities, internet, and no heating or air conditioning

25:16 - Housing market dynamics and neighborhood differences

26:02 - Language, Spanish proficiency, and William's honest advice

31:23 - Walkability, the tram, buses, and getting around without a car

35:33 - Terrain and sidewalk realities for seniors with mobility concerns

37:19 - Taxis, ride-share alternatives, and the cost of getting around

39:10 - LGBTQ+ community, visibility, and safety as a same-sex couple

45:21 - Pride events, gay bars, and expat community meetups

46:35 - Visa options, residency, and the path to Ecuadorian citizenship

48:44 - Taxes, private insurance, and the public healthcare system

51:46 - $235-a-year health coverage and pre-existing conditions

53:53 - Medications, same-day appointments, and what healthcare really costs

56:07 - Crime, gun laws, and neighborhood safety

59:19 - Night watchmen, safe streets, and walking home after dark

61:02 - Arts, culture, museums, and why Cuenca is Ecuador's arts capital

65:46 - Food culture, fresh markets, guinea pig, and dining costs

71:14 - Cafe culture, ice cream, and coffee without free refills

74:09 - Restaurant culture, tipping, and international cuisine

78:29 - How Cuenca compares to Mexico and Portugal

79:28 - One sentence: why retire in Cuenca?

Resources mentioned in this episode:

* Montanita, Ecuador, recommended by Brian Longstreth

* Duolingo for Spanish practice

* San Sebastian neighborhood in Cuenca, recommended for expat-friendly cafes and restaurants

* Ecuador expat communities on Facebook

The information shared in this episode reflects the personal experience of our guest and is not intended as legal, financial, or medical advice. Please consult qualified professionals before making any decisions about international relocation, visa applications, healthcare, or financial planning.

WHERE DO GAYS RETIRE PODCAST

Show Notes

The Frying Pan Is Now the Fire —

Where Do We Go From Here?

Hosted by Mark Goldstein| Solo Episode |April 2026

Sequel to: "Out of the Frying Pan Into the Fire" (July 2025)

When Mark recorded "Out of the Frying Pan Into the Fire" last July, he was mostly thinking about political instability in other countries. He wasn't quite expecting the frying pan itself to turn up the heat this dramatically right here at home.

In this solo follow-up episode, Mark takes a calm, clear-eyed look at where things actually stand in the United States right now for LGBTQ+ retirees — and more importantly, what your real options are. This is not a political commentary. It is not about panic. It is exactly what this podcast has always been: practical, honest information to help you make informed decisions about where to spend your golden years, openly, safely, and fabulously.

In This Episode

• What NSPM-7 actually says — and what it doesn't say — about our community
• Why listener numbers are growing, and what that tells us about where our community is right now
• The case for staying: U.S. states with the strongest constitutional and legal protections
• The case for going: why more LGBTQ+ retirees are seriously looking abroad
• The honest complications of international living — Medicare, visas, family distance
• Five questions to help you figure out where you stand
• Mark's personal story — Fort Collins, Peter, and the 1982 Málaga plane crash
• Resources to stay informed and take action

U.S. States With Strong LGBTQ+ Legal Protections — Featured in This Episode

Mark highlights states where same-sex marriage rights are protected at the state constitutional level or through strong statutory protections — states where your rights would remain intact even if the federal picture changes.

Constitutional protection states:

• New York — equal protection enshrined in state constitution (2024); marriage equality since 2011
• California — right to marry enshrined as a fundamental right in state constitution (2024)
• Colorado — constitutional ban removed by voters (2024) + inclusive statutory definition enacted (2025)
• New Mexico — state Supreme Court ruled marriage equality required under state constitution (2013); codified by unanimous legislative vote (2019)
• Nevada — marriage equality positively enshrined in state constitution (2020) — no episode yet, but worth watching!

Strong statutory protection states are also mentioned:

• Massachusetts — first state to legalize same-sex marriage (2004); no ban
• Vermont — civil unions pioneer (2000); no ban
• Rhode Island, Washington State, New Jersey, Maryland, Illinois, Oregon — all with no dormant bans

International Destinations Mentioned in This Episode

• Spain — Torremolinos, Sitges, Malaga, Costa del Sol
• Portugal — Algarve, Cascais
• Mexico — Ajijic, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico City, Queretaro
• France, Netherlands, Costa Rica

For our full archive of international destination episodes, see the Episode Resource Guide linked in the show notes for this episode.

LGBTQ+ Retirement Communities Mentioned

• Living Out — Palm Springs, California | livingout.com
• Fountain Grove Lodge — Santa Rosa, California

Referenced Episode

"Out of the Frying Pan Into the Fire — Why the Political Climate Matters for LGBTQ+ Retirees"

Originally aired July 2, 2025. Available in the podcast archive at wheredogaysretire.com.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

U.S. Legal & Advocacy:

• ACLU — aclu.org
• Lambda Legal — lambdalegal.org
• Freedom for All Americans — freedomforallamericans.org
• Movement Advancement Project (state-by-state tracker) — lgbtmap.org

International Research:

• ILGA World — global LGBTQ+ rights by country — ilga.org
• International Living — Global Retirement Index — internationalliving.com
• Social Security abroad — ssa.gov/international

Episode Resource Guide

Download the companion Episode Resource Guide for this episode — a curated list of our top international destination episodes and our top U.S. protective state episodes, organized and ranked by downloads.

Available at wheredogaysretire.com/fryingpan2

Connect With Mark & the Community

• Facebook: Where Do Gays Retire — facebook.com/groups/wheredogaysretire
• Facebook: Gay Men 60 and Better (27,700+ members) — facebook.com/groups/gaymen60andbetter
• Email Mark — [email protected]
• Schedule a call with Mark — savvycal.com/Markscalendar
• Full episode archive — wheredogaysretire.com

Support the Podcast

If you enjoy the Where Do Gays Retire podcast, please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs it. You can also support the show by buying Mark a coffee at wheredogaysretire.com — each $5 coffee helps keep the podcast going.

"Retirement is not just about warm weather.

It is about living openly, safely, and fabulously,

wherever in the world that may be for you."

— Mark Goldstein, Where Do Gays Retire

Episode Resource Guide: Where to Retire — International & U.S. Destinations

Companion resource to: "The Frying Pan Is Now the Fire — Where Do We Go From Here?"

Whether you are thinking about staying in the United States or exploring a life abroad, this guide brings together the most-listened-to episodes from the Where Do Gays Retire podcast archive. U.S. episodes are curated to include only states where LGBTQ+ legal protections are strong and where same-sex marriage would remain protected even in the absence of a federal ruling. All episodes are available wherever you listen to podcasts, or at wheredogaysretire.com.

These are the international episodes your fellow listeners have returned to most. Spain leads by a wide margin, appearing seven times in the top fifteen.

1. Exploring Retirement in Spain: Valencia vs. Malaga for LGBTQ Expats with Dave Piccolo, Jesus Bartoli and Steve Aronberg
2. Ajijic, Mexico: A Vibrant LGBTQ+ Haven Revisited with Steve Cross and Harold Watts
3. Sitges vs. Torremolinos, Spain With Richard Jasicki and Leo Boni
4. Malta, with Eric Tenin and Michael Salone
5. Retire in Style: Why Nice, France is the Ultimate LGBTQ Destination With Jameson Farn
6. Two Countries, One Community: LGBTQ+ Retirement Insights from Spain and Portugal with Bruce Joffe and Russ Warren
7. Athens, Greece with Steve Gantzos and Ken Cook
8. Nerja, Spain: A Mediterranean Hideaway with Richard Carnaby
9. Amsterdam, The Netherlands with Jeremy Bierbach
10. Oloron Sainte-Marie, France with Mykle Flatley
11. Don't Just Visit — Live! Americans Moving To Spain with Christopher Hughey
12. Madrid, Spain with Renato Padilla
13. From the Heart of Gran Canaria — Raquel Rojas on LGBTQ+ Life and Island Living
14. Embracing Retirement: Waldron McGinnis's Journey to Courtown, Ireland
15. Weather, Wine, and Wonder: Retirement Life in Madeira With Paul Corning and Kevin McKay

Key destinations in the archive: Spain (Valencia, Malaga, Sitges, Torremolinos, Nerja, Madrid, Gran Canaria) • Mexico (Ajijic, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico City, Oaxaca, San Miguel de Allende) • France (Nice, Oloron Sainte-Marie, Paris, Dordogne) • Portugal (Lisbon, Cascais, Algarve, Braga, Tavira, Porto, Ericeira, Madeira) • Greece, Netherlands, Malta, Ireland, Germany, Argentina, Colombia, Costa Rica, Thailand, Ecuador, Uruguay

These episodes cover states where same-sex marriage rights are protected at the constitutional level or through strong statutory protections — states where your rights would remain intact even if the federal picture changes.

⭐ Note: Nevada has the strongest constitutional protection of any state — marriage equality is positively enshrined in its state constitution. A Nevada episode is not yet in the archive!

———

CONSTITUTIONAL PROTECTION STATES

California — Right to marry enshrined as a fundamental right in the state constitution (2024)

• Inside Living Out: The LGBTQ Community That Feels Like Family — With Loren Ostrow
• Finding Your Gay Retirement Paradise: Fountain Grove Lodge with Chuck Finch & Ed Cambron
• Palm Springs, CA with Robyn Meltzer and Susan Brennan
• Cathedral City, California With Keith Coleman
• Sacramento, California with Greg Wine
• San Diego With Stephen Keiley

New Mexico — State constitution requires marriage equality (Griego v. Oliver, 2013); codified by unanimous legislative vote (2019)

• Albuquerque, New Mexico with Pamm Meyers
• Choosing Your Desert Oasis: Albuquerque, NM vs. Tucson, AZ for LGBTQ+ Retirees with Pamm Meyers and Jeff Schuchart
• Las Cruces, New Mexico with Michael Stracener
• Santa Fe, New Mexico With Perry MacKrill

New York — Equal protection enshrined in state constitution (2024); marriage equality since 2011

• Ithaca, New York with Kurt Becker
• Syracuse, New York With Scott Hier

Colorado — Constitutional ban removed by voters (2024); inclusive statutory definition enacted (2025)

• Fort Collins Snapshot: A Vibrant Life for LGBTQ+ Retirees — City Snapshot Series with Mark Goldstein
• Finding Home in Fort Collins: LGBTQ+ Retirement with Patty and Pat

Hawaii — Constitutional ban removed by voters (2024)

• Hilo, Hawaii with Richard Ostreicher and Bob Sleasman

———

STRONG STATUTORY PROTECTION STATES

No dormant ban — strong protections through legislation or court ruling

Washington State

• Discover Why Vancouver, WA is a Top Retirement Spot for LGBTQ+ Community — With Gary Beagle
• Seattle, Washington with Steven Chapman

Rhode Island

• Tim McCormick's Guide to Living Your Best Life in Providence, Rhode Island

New Jersey

• Asbury Park, New Jersey With Brent Winborn
• Lambertville, NJ and New Hope PA with Mark McNease

Maryland / DC

• Salisbury, Maryland with Mark DeLancey
• National Capital Region — DC, Maryland, Virginia with Jim Hansen

Illinois

• Chicago, Illinois With Marc Goldberg

Massachusetts — First state to legalize same-sex marriage (2004)

• Provincetown, Massachusetts With Elizabeth G. Brooke
• Falmouth, Massachusetts With Tom von Zabern

Vermont — Civil unions pioneer (2000)

• Brattleboro, Vermont With Scott Heller

Oregon

• Portland, Oregon with Paul Iarrobino

1. Living the Dream: Inside Friendship Village's LGBTQ-Friendly Community With Joe Connelly and Terry Pochert
2. Is Marriage Equality in Peril? Evan Wolfson Explains
3. Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire — Why the Political Climate Matters for LGBTQ+ Retirees
4. The Great Walkability Debate — Can You Retire Without a Car?
5. Where to Find Your Retirement Joy: 10 Questions to Ask! with Mark Goldstein & Michael AI

U.S. Legal & Advocacy

• ACLU — aclu.org
• Lambda Legal — lambdalegal.org
• Freedom for All Americans — freedomforallamericans.org
• Movement Advancement Project (state-by-state tracker) — mapresearch.org

International Research

• ILGA World (global LGBTQ+ rights by country) — ilga.org
• International Living (Global Retirement Index) — internationalliving.com
• Social Security abroad — ssa.gov/international

Connect With Mark & the Community

• Facebook: Where Do Gays Retire
• Facebook: Gay Men 60 and Better (27,700+ members)
• Email: [email protected]
• Schedule a call: savvycal.com/Markscalendar
• Full episode archive: wheredogaysretire.com

"Retirement is not just about warm weather. It is about living openly, safely, and fabulously, wherever in the world that may be for you."

— Mark Goldstein, Where Do Gays Retire

🎙️ Where Do Gays Retire Podcast

wheredogaysretire.com

Gay Retirement in Querétaro, Mexico: Real Costs, Healthcare, Visas & LGBTQ+ Life

Featuring Bryan Hutson & Juan Gomar •Hosted by Mark Goldstein

Most people think of Puerto Vallarta or San Miguel de Allende when they imagine retiring in Mexico. Bryan Hutson and Juan Gomar — the gay couple behind boutique candle brand Casa Beige — chose something different: Querétaro, a modern, walkable, affordable city in Mexico's highlands that almost no one in the LGBTQ+ retirement conversation is talking about yet.

In this episode, they share what it's really like to live there — real costs, healthcare experiences, how they got their residency, and what the gay community is actually like on the ground.

🎯 What You'll Learn

• Why Querétaro beats tourist towns on price — and why that matters for expats
• What a doctor visit, specialist, and prescriptions actually cost out of pocket
• How Bryan and Juan got their 4-year residency through a COVID-era regularization program — and why you should still hire a facilitator
• The rental screening process (poliza juridica) that surprises most Americans
• What the LGBTQ+ scene looks like: community centers, gay bars, Pride parades, and social life
• How important Spanish really is — and what happens if you only speak English
• The senior discount card (60+) that gets you free museum entry and medical discounts across Mexico
• Why Querétaro is a great fit for some people — and a poor fit for others

🌺 About the Guests

Bryan Hutson has over 40 years of experience in horticulture, retail leadership, landscape design, and nonprofit arts. Juan Gomar is an accomplished floral and event designer originally from Guatemala, known for bold, expressive work with high-end clients in Dallas. Together, they founded Casa Beige, a boutique soy candle and lifestyle brand inspired by Mexican culture and memory, now based in the hills of Tejada outside Querétaro's city center.

💡 Key Takeaways

• Querétaro is driven by business and manufacturing investment — not tourism. That keeps prices real.
• Grocery run for two with meat and fish: roughly 2,000–3,000 pesos ($125–$190 USD)
• Internet: ~$50–60/month. Trash pickup: free, daily except Sundays.
• Specialist visit in the public system: as low as 100 pesos (~$6). Private specialist with tests and medication: around $60.
• Most common medications — including blood pressure meds — are available over the counter.
• Uber to the city center: about $2–3. Buses: 10 pesos (50 cents).
• The gay community is active and welcoming — even in a city known for being Catholic and conservative.
• Their single strongest advice: hire a local facilitator for residency. Do not try to navigate it alone.

🎧 Listen & Watch

Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major platforms. Visit wheredogaysretire.com to listen and explore every destination episode

💬 Stay Connected

• Email: [email protected]
• Website: wheredogaysretire.com
• Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/wheregaysretire

If this episode helped you, please share it with someone thinking about retiring abroad. It really does make a difference.

The information shared in this episode reflects the personal experiences of our guests and is for general informational purposes only. Visa rules, healthcare policies, and costs change frequently. Please consult qualified legal, medical, immigration, and financial professionals before making any decisions about retiring or living abroad.

🎙️ Where Do Gays Retire Podcast Episode: Cologne, Germany — The Gay Capital of Europe That No One Talks About Guest: Bryson Kelpe

Have you ever considered Cologne, Germany, as a place to retire or live abroad? Most people haven't — and after this episode, you just might add it to your list. This week I sat down with Bryson Kelpe, an American expat therapist who left Tennessee behind in 2019 and built a full, rich life in Germany's gay capital. Bryson brings a unique perspective — not just as someone who lives there, but as a therapist who works daily with expats navigating the real challenges and joys of life in Germany.

Cologne is a city of about one million people situated in northwest Germany on the Rhine River, close to the borders of Belgium, the Netherlands, and Luxembourg. It's famous for its stunning UNESCO World Heritage cathedral, its legendary Carnival season, and its warm, welcoming culture, which sets it apart from other German cities. Bryson describes it simply as a "gay village on the Rhine."

After honeymooning in Germany in 2016, Bryson and his husband kept coming back — scouting both Berlin and Cologne before his husband's work gave them the opening to make the move permanent in 2019. What kept them? The people. The community. The connectivity to the rest of Europe. And yes, the fact that Switzerland was just too expensive.

Cologne is widely considered Germany's gay capital — and it earns that title year-round, not just during Pride. Highlights include:

• A vibrant gay bar scene centered around Schaafenstrasse — home to Cologne's famous Bermuda Triangle*
• Gay sport clubs, bear clubs, rugby teams, and men's choruses
• The Rainbow Symphony and gay carnival clubs
• Cologne Pride — still rooted as a political protest, with two full weeks of events
• Cologne Bear Pride every November at the start of the Christmas markets
• Four same-sex couples holding hands on a 20-minute walk — just a regular Tuesday

Cologne is highly walkable, and car-free living is entirely realistic. Public transportation is excellent, and car-sharing apps like Flinkster and Miles make day trips easy without owning a vehicle. Weekly outdoor markets, international cuisine, and a thriving cafe culture make everyday life comfortable and enjoyable. Sundays, however, grocery stores are closed — so plan ahead!

Cologne is considered moderate by European standards. Some real numbers from Bryson:

• Groceries: ~60 euros per week for two
• Farm fresh eggs: 2.50 euros for a pack of ten
• Espresso: 1.50 euros at a local cafe
• Furnished one-bedroom apartment: 1,200–2,000 euros/month
• Comfortable retired couple budget: 2,500–3,000 euros/month (excluding insurance)
• Average dinner out: 20–30 euros

Germany has both a public and private healthcare system. Public insurance is available to those working in Germany who earn below a certain income threshold — you pay part, your employer pays part. With public insurance, you simply use your chip card at the doctor's or pharmacy. Private insurance requires paying up front and getting reimbursed. Many foreign retirees opt for private international health insurance, at least initially, until they establish residency and determine their eligibility for the public system. Emergency care is dramatically more affordable than in the US — Bryson's ER visit, including an X-ray on a weekend, came to just 128 euros.

Note: Healthcare eligibility and costs vary based on your employment status, visa type, and residency situation. Consult a qualified advisor before making decisions.

Germany does not have a formal retirement visa, but there are several pathways for American retirees:

• Residence Permit for Financially Independent Individuals — The most direct route for retirees. Prove you can financially support yourself through pensions, Social Security, savings, or investments, and that you have comprehensive health insurance. This falls under Section 7 of the German Residence Act and is the most realistic option for most retired Americans.
• Language School Visa — Valid for up to 12 months while enrolled in an intensive language course. Can be a good first step to get established in Germany.
• Family Reunification Visa — If you have a spouse, partner, or close family member who is a legal resident or citizen of Germany, this is a viable pathway.
• Settlement Permit (Permanent Residency) — Available after five years of legal residency in Germany.

The US and Germany also have a Social Security totalization agreement, which can benefit Americans who have worked in both countries.

Note: German immigration rules can change and vary by local immigration office. Always consult a qualified German immigration attorney before making decisions.

What you gain: Walkability, connectivity to all of Europe, affordable food and healthcare, a rich LGBTQ+ community, safety, and a culture that will push you out of your comfort zone in the best way.

What you give up: American-style convenience and instant gratification. Banking, bureaucracy, and apartment hunting all require patience. And learning German — while not strictly required — will meaningfully deepen your experience and friendships.

Find this episode wherever you get your podcasts, or visit www.wheredogaysretire.com

Would YOU retire in Cologne? Drop a comment, send me a DM, or email me at [email protected] — I'd love to hear your thoughts.

"I live in Cologne for the people and the community you'll make here." — Bryson Kelpe

Warmly, Mark Goldstein 🎙️ Host, Where Do Gays Retire

🌐 www.wheredogaysretire.com ✉️ [email protected] 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/wheredogaysretire 📸 Instagram: @wheredogaysretire ☕ Enjoyed the show? Buy me a coffee!

The Cologne Bermuda Triangle refers to the cluster of gay bars, clubs, and restaurants concentrated around the Schaafenstrasse neighborhood — so called because once you enter, you may never find your way out! It's the heart of Cologne's LGBTQ+ nightlife and one of the most well-known gay entertainment districts in all of Germany.

This episode is intended for informational purposes only. Immigration, tax, and healthcare rules change frequently and vary by individual circumstance. Always consult qualified legal, tax, and financial professionals before making major life decisions.

Discover the nuances of life in Vienna through Nikolett Kustos's experiences as a Hungarian-born photographer and resident. From cultural differences to practical cost-of-living insights, this episode offers a comprehensive view of what makes Vienna a unique and appealing place to live.

• Nikolett’s journey from Hungary to Vienna and her reasons for staying
• The cultural similarities and differences between Austria and Hungary
• Vienna’s social attitude and community dynamics
• Climate, geography, and proximity to neighboring countries
• Cost of living: housing, utilities, transportation, and groceries
• Walkability and public transportation system
• The vibrant LGBTQ community and safety in Vienna
• Residency, visa options, and bureaucratic processes
• Language considerations and expat integration
• Healthcare system quality and access
• Crime levels and safety perceptions
• Austrian cuisine and culinary scene
• Coffee culture and social habits
• Trade-offs of living in Vienna compared to the US
• Why Vienna is an ideal place for retirement
• Austria’s tax environment: no wealth tax, no inheritance or estate taxes

00:00 - Introduction to Nikolett and her background

02:00 - Reasons for moving to Vienna and cultural similarities with Hungary

05:15 - Vienna’s social attitude and community feel

07:30 - Climate, geography, and travel opportunities around Austria

10:00 - Cost of housing: old vs. new buildings

13:00 - Cost of utilities and telecommunications

15:00 - Transportation costs, public transit, and walkability

19:00 - Safety and crime rates in Vienna

21:45 - Food culture: traditional and international cuisine

25:30 - Coffeehouse scene and social habits

29:00 - Expat community and language in Vienna

33:50 - LGBTQ visibility, pride, and community safety

36:45 - Residency options, visa processes, and bureaucracy

43:00 - Healthcare system and quality of medical services

50:00 - Taxes, income tax, and international tax liabilities

55:30 - Austria’s healthcare coverage and private insurance

60:00 - Crime, safety, and gun laws

65:00 - Suitability for different demographics and lifestyle preferences

75:00 - Trade-offs: what might not appeal to everyone

78:30 - Why Vienna is a great retirement destination

• Vienna Tourism Board
• Austrian Tourist Office
• ÖGK (Austrian Social Insurance)
• Vienna Public Transport (Wiener Linien)
• Book: “Living and Investing in Vienna” — Amazon search
• Austrian Embassy to the US
• Foreigners and Expats in Vienna and Austria (Facebook Group)

• LinkedIn — Nikolett Kustos

Austria has no wealth tax and no inheritance, estate, or gift taxes. The inheritance and gift tax was abolished back in 2008. A few nuances worth knowing:

• Real estate transfers — While there’s no inheritance tax per se, real estate received through inheritance or gift is subject to a transfer tax, and a land registration fee of 1.1% of market value is also owed by the heir.
• Gift reporting obligations — Even though gifts aren’t taxed, gifts of cash, shares, and similar assets must be declared to the tax authorities if they exceed €50,000 in the case of relatives, or €15,000 in the case of third parties. Failure to report can result in fines.
• Could this change? — There’s been some political discussion about reintroducing these taxes, though it is considered rather unlikely under the current government.

Residents are defined as individuals who have legally resided in Austria for 6 months or more and are entitled to healthcare under the state social insurance system. However, access to the public ÖGK system depends heavily on employment status:

• If you’re employed, you’re automatically enrolled through your employer the moment you start working.
• If you’re retired and not working, individuals living permanently in Austria who are not covered by the state health system may get coverage by paying monthly fees, similar to coverage from a private insurance company, with a six-month waiting period.
• If you’re self-employed or a freelancer, you can register with a separate body called the SVS, though these individuals need to pay 20% of the cost of treatment, and healthcare will not be completely free.

The visa requirement wrinkle

Persons from third countries (non-EU) will only get a residence permit for staying more than six months if they can first provide proof of having health insurance covering “all risks.” So you essentially need private insurance before you can even get the visa — and then you can transition to the public system once you’re established as a resident.

Monthly costs

• Contributions to the public ÖGK amount to approximately 7.65% of gross income, split between the employee and the employer.
• For those self-insuring voluntarily (not employed), student self-insurance at the ÖGK costs around €63 per month.
• Private plans for expats run roughly €30–€100 per month, depending on age and coverage.

Bottom line for listeners:

An American retiree moving to Austria would likely need to start with private health insurance to obtain their visa, then, after establishing legal residency, could potentially transition to the public system — but it’s worth consulting an immigration specialist given the complexity.

Each section offers practical insights for prospective expats and retirees considering Vienna as their new home

Please always consult a professional tax and immigration attorney before making a move.

A note on long-term residency for non-EU citizens: Retiring to Austria as a US citizen is possible but genuinely difficult. The primary pathway is the Settlement Permit (Gainful Employment Excepted), which requires sufficient passive income, comprehensive health insurance, proof of accommodation, and basic German language skills. The catch is that only approximately 300 of these permits are issued nationwide each year, quota places are assigned on a first-come, first-served basis at the start of each calendar year, and immigration attorneys note that securing a spot is rarely possible without legal support. If you are serious about Austria, start the process early in the year and budget for professional immigration help.