What kind of criminal breaks into your home… and cleans it?

When a man from Massachusetts leaves the house with his son, he returns to a scene of domestic disturbance. Floors scrubbed. Surfaces polished. Toys in his son’s room neatly rearranged, and intricate toilet paper roses left in the bathrooms. Nothing stolen. Nothing damaged. Just a mysteriously cleaned house, with no explanation why.

At first, this appears to be a hopeless case with no leads, no motive and zero suspects. But things take a sharp turn when an unlikely witness emerges. There's only one tiny problem... this witness isn’t human.

Undeterred, we attempt to make contact with the creature, embarking on a journey that is as bizarre as it is revealing. And if you thought we’d hit peak unhinged already… you have no idea what’s coming. 

Part Two drops 15th Jan.

Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmywedding

Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes.

Sound design by @juanthummler

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How good are we at solving crimes… statistically speaking?

After several months of operating the Unqualified Detective Agency, we finally attempt to answer the question no one asked but everyone fears: what is our actual crime-solving success rate?

A supposedly simple calculation quickly descends into bickering, selective memory, creative accounting, and a spirited debate over what should and definitely should not count as “solved”.

To restore order, we bring in a professional statistician to crunch the numbers properly. The result is a percentage so alarming it raises serious questions about competence, confidence, and whether maths should ever be trusted.

If you’ve ever wondered how not to measure success, this bonus episode is for you.

The next case opens on January 1st.

Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmywedding

Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes.

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On 14th December 2019, a child-sized decorative Santa vanished from The Strawberry Hall pub in Dublin.

But this wasn’t your average festive felony.

Within 24 hours, photos of the kidnapped Santa began appearing on a dedicated Instagram account, mocking the pub, and taunting Ireland.

And then came the twist no one was prepared for.
Santa wasn’t just stolen…
he was being held for ransom.
For €5,000, to be precise.

As the investigation deepens, the plot thickens with every clue. Was this the work of opportunistic thieves? A carefully orchestrated prank? Or most disturbingly - was this an inside job?

It’s beginning to look a lot like… evidence.

The next case opens on 1st Jan.

Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmywedding

Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes

Sound design by @juanthummler

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the tense finale of Rural Rectal Rampage, we finally meet the shadowy figure pulling the strings behind the entire scandal.

What begins as a simple confrontation unravels into something far more complex… an unexpected motive that forces everyone to rethink everything they thought they knew about the crime… and about themselves.

As we piece together the true intent behind the Rampage, we arrive at a dangerous crossroads:
is our duty simply to solve crimes…or has this investigation pushed us toward actually committing one?

The next case opens on December 18th. 

Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmywedding

Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes.

Sound design by @juanthummler

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A prime suspect suddenly blocks Karen from all form of communication, disappearing without a trace. Meanwhile, a reckless pyramid scheme involving teenagers spirals wildly out of control, taking the case to fresh levels of unprofessionalism.

Desperate for answers, Karen takes stalking to bold new heights, while Lauren conducts a final high pressure interrogation that could make or break the entire investigation.

Who truly set the Rural Rectal Rampage in motion, and what twisted mind wakes up one day and chooses this life?

Part 4 (the finale) is out now.

Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmywedding

Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes

Sound design by @juanthummler

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The investigation reaches new levels of desperation. 

We find ourselves loitering outside a school, attempting to brief two teenagers on an undercover mission. We consult a nurse about the medical implications of anal insertions. And out of nowhere, a mysterious stranger appears with divine intervention.

But nothing prepares us for the final question....is this scandal confined to Chipping Norton…or is it far bigger than we ever imagined?

Part three AND four drop December 4th.

Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmywedding

Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes.

Sound design by @juanthummler

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The quiet streets of Chipping Norton are no longer at peace. A phantom prankster - or perhaps an organised ring of pranksters - is targeting local stores and tagging innocent household items with stickers that say “for rectal use only.”

As the town’s elderly residents grow increasingly distraught, the pressure mounts on Detective LK and KW to put an end to the chaos. 

Part Two drops November 20th.

Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes.
Sound design by @juanthummler

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just as Detective LK and KW thought they were closing in on the truth, one shocking revelation blows the whole case wide open.

Confusion mounts, new leads emerge, and a tender goodbye is said to Joao, the four legged creature at the heart of the story.

Buckle up for the ride - the mystery of this canine's demise is far from over.

The next case opens on November 6th. 

Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes.
Sound design by @juanthummler

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Through a dark twist of fate a dead dog named Joao vanishes in the most unlikely theft imaginable.

What begins as a bizarre mistake spirals into a rollercoaster of chaos, deception, and the relentless hunt for answers. Each revelation pulls us deeper into shadows where nothing is as it seems.

Set against the glittering façade of Paris’s Champs-Élysées, one haunting question lingers: will justice for Joao ever be found?

Part two drops October 23rd.

Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes.
Sound design by @juanthummler

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Veronica’s Saturday morning began like any other, quiet and unremarkable. But by midday, her home had transformed from a place of comfort to a scene of unspeakable violation.

The dishwasher, once a symbol of cleanliness, was now a crime scene.

Who shat in Veronica's dishwasher and why? A simple yet extremely effective process of elimination proving that we are really good detectives, will uncover the shocking truth.

The next case opens on October 9th. 

Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.