Combative Calm

Why Putting Yourself Last Is Wrecking You


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This episode is for the muthafcka who carries everything, says yes out of reflex, and calls it being "good".

We’re talking about the martyr complex, not as a personality trait, but as a nervous system habit that got wired through relief, compliance, and survival. When you repeatedly put yourself last, and nothing blows up, your body learns a dangerous lesson. 
Self-abandonment equals safety.

I break down the neuroscience of how this pattern forms, why insight doesn’t stop it, and how affirmations actually work when the issue lives in the nervous system, not your mindset. These aren’t pretty, inspirational affirmations. They’re interruptions designed to create new pathways and teach your body that you can choose yourself and survive.

If you’re exhausted, resentful, tense, and tired of lighting yourself on fire for everyone else, this episode will land hard and make sense in your body.

This is not about becoming selfish.
It’s about stopping a habit that’s costing you your health.

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Combative CalmBy Sarai Speer

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