Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

Why We Should All Want Our Friends to Have Robust Social Lives (Even If It’s Without Us)


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Cheer your friends on for hanging out with each other … even if it’s without you!

It might sound like counterintuitive friendship advice. But the truth is, when my friends have rich, full social lives, I actually benefit more than anyone. 

In this episode, I’m going to share some stories where I have either encouraged my friends to make other friends or actually cheered them on for hanging out without me. 

My friend who’s moved away and whose baby was in the NICU? I want her to have other mom friends! I want her to have friends who live CLOSE to her! Mostly, I want this for my friend’s well-being, but there are many benefits for me, too. 

When my friends have rich social lives, it also enriches my social capital and puts less pressure on me to be EVERYTHING for them – which honestly is a healthier situation for all of us.


In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • The friendship trio dynamic: why I’m not offended when the others hang out without me and the importance of one-on-one time even in a group
  • The value of friends having diverse social networks, including activity-specific friends, life stage friends, and work friends
  • Social capital and why having friends with a robust web of connections makes me feel more supported and connected, too
  • Benefits of encouraging friends to make other friends, including reducing pressure and providing more niche support


Resources & Links

Listen to Episode 12 about my roots framework.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!


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Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually TakesBy Alex Alexander

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