Why won’t my partner communicate with me

It’s one of the most common questions I hear in the therapy room and it’s usually coming from someone who feels shut out, unheard or like they’re carrying the emotional load on their own.

In this episode of This Complex Life, I’ll share what’s often really going on when communication feels blocked, when you keep fighting or arguing. Because most of the time, it’s not about a lack of words. It’s about emotional safety, overwhelm and patterns that quietly shut conversations down.

I talk about emotional flooding, the communication patterns that make things worse instead of better, and how the way conversations start can set them up to fail before they even begin. I also explore how what we learned about conflict growing up still shapes how we show up in our relationships today.

You’ll also hear practical questions you can ask that invite reflection instead of defensiveness, and small shifts that can help you feel more connected without escalating into another fight.

In this episode, we explore

1. Why communication problems are rarely just about talking
2. Emotional flooding and shutdown and why it feels impossible to stay present
3. The Gottman Four Horsemen and how they show up in everyday conversations
4. How criticism, defensiveness and stonewalling block connection
5. Why timing and tone matter more than being right
6. How family of origin shapes your comfort with conflict
7. Questions that help you understand each other instead of escalating

If you’ve ever thought we just don’t communicate anymore, this episode is for you.

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Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset