With You in the Weeds: Where Faith Meets Mental Health

Are you dealing with an unrepentant person? How would you know if you are? John, Shay, and Austin get to the root of an unrepentant heart and it's not a pretty picture. 

This episode will help you identify the signs of an unrepentant person such as denial and deflection, and explain why a hardened heart is so difficult to deal with.

They also speak personally as to why we resist repentance, and how an unrepentant heart lies at the root of hurtful relationships.

When you finish this episode you’ll be better equipped to identify an unrepentant person, as well as be on the lookout for signs of unrepentance in your own heart.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at [email protected] with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Do you have a toxic in-law situation on your hands? Many families experience stress, broken relationships and years of hurt feelings or misunderstandings. You may even dread family gatherings due to difficult in-laws. This common problem requires diligence in boundary-setting and clarifying roles and expectations, but where do you start?

Shay, Lynn and John talk about real life scenarios that address your in-law concerns and offer practical suggestions on how to separate from your parents in healthy ways, while still honoring them.

The key is to have a unified front when dealing with difficult in-laws, and this discussion will help you and your partner get on the same page so you can make effective changes towards healthy in-law relationships.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at [email protected] with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

How well do you get along with your in-laws? This is a touchy subject for many families, as friction or tension with in-law relationships is very common, but hard to navigate.

The root of in-law trouble can be traced back to a failure to “leave and cleave”, but this ancient biblical mandate is easier said than done.

Most people enter marriage thinking that their partner will always put them first, or that in-law relationships will improve over time, but it doesn’t take long for conflict or division to emerge.

Shay, Lynn and John have a lively conversation about what it actually means to leave your parents physically, emotionally, financially and psychologically, and identify the problems that occur when this fails to happen.

This episode will help you pay attention to the ways you have, or have not, been able to leave and cleave, and where it may be causing trouble in your in-law relationships.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at [email protected] with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Resources

Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage by Susan Forward

With many families, marriages and churches being fractured by narcissistic personalities, the With You in the Weeds team invites notable author and bible teacher, Pastor Erwin Lutzer, to address this difficult topic.

Lynn Roush, LPC and Pastor Lutzer have a very honest conversation about the damage done in relationships because of this hurtful personality style. 

They also address how to protect yourself from narcissistic abuse through practicing discernment, danger assessment, healthy detachment, healing from dissonance, and becoming a whole person, so you don't want to miss this discussion.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at [email protected] with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes. 

Resources

Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores by Diane Langberg

The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick

The First Will Be Last: A Biblical Perspective on Narcissism by DC Robertsson

Do you feel confused, manipulated or controlled in a relationship? Are you looking for spiritual and psychological insight into the complex and painful roots of narcissism?

Lynn Roush, LPC and Pastor Erwin Lutzer address the origins of narcissism from a psychological and biblical perspective that provide clarity and crucial information if you find yourself entangled with a difficult person in your life.

They discuss the 5 traits of a narcissistic personality, as well as the 5 stages of bonding in a relationship with a narcissistic person which are:

1. Decide on a target and declare love 

2. Devalue the person 

3. Deploy defense mechanisms

4. Create dissonance and confusion

5. Destroy the person’s sense of Self

Resources

Buy The Power of a Clear Conscience Book

Buy the Why Good People Do Bad Things Book

Our guest, Pastor Erwin Lutzer, is best known for his 37 years of pastoring the Moody Church in Chicago, and has authored over 50 books including "Why Good People Do Bad Things" and "The Power of a Clear Conscience". His preaching is heard around the world through his radio program, “Running to Win”.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at [email protected] with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

It’s easy to identify what kills a relationship, but much harder to know what ingredients you need to nurture a healthy relationship. John, Lynn, and Austin explain and discuss the 4 Relationship Builders:

1. Practice a gentle start up, instead of criticism.

2. Build a culture of appreciation, instead of contempt.

3. Take ownership of your part in a conflict, instead of getting defensive.

4. Stay engaged, instead of stonewalling.

These aren’t pie in the sky sentiments, but instead are solidly researched and biblically based practices that have proven to build relationships.

Listen in if you want to begin, and continue, the hard but worthwhile work of building your relationships. When you do, over time you’ll see the fruit of creating Jesus’ kingdom here on earth as he calls us to be kind and tender-hearted towards each other.

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling. These are bad enough on their own, but mix them together and you have a cocktail that will kill any relationship. 

This episode is simple: John, Lynn, and Austin give you a mirror to look in and ask yourself, “where are these killers showing up in my relationships?” Afterwards you’ll be able to name, identify, and describe them, which is the first step to change. 

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

If bitterness stops the clock of your life, then forgiveness starts it up again. But what is forgiveness, and what does this mean for you?

John, Shay and Austin discuss:

1. What forgiveness is NOT

2. What forgiveness IS

3. The hard realities of forgiveness

4. The costs and benefits of forgiveness

Entering a process of forgiveness is never easy, but this discussion will replace flimsy imitations of forgiveness with a picture of the real thing. Learning these principles will normalize how hard it is to forgive, while explaining how freeing it can be.

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

“Bitterness stops the clock of your life.”

Do you know a bitter person? If you do then you’ve seen and felt how they are stuck in their anger, resentment, and inability to move beyond hurts and slights from their past. 

This person couldn’t be you, could it?

Listen in as John, Austin, and Shay discuss:

- What bitterness is: Hardened, settled anger and resentment

- Where it shows up: In your relationships with others and with God

- The causes of bitterness: Hurtful relational circumstances AND powerful spiritual forces

- The problems it causes: Blinds, Baits, Burdens, Bleeds over, and Belittles God’s grace

If you feel stuck in bitterness and you want to restart the clock of your life, this is the episode for you.

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

If you want to manage a toxic relationship you’re going to need to break some rules, three in particular:

1. Wait for things to get better

2. Try to change the other person

3. Love people unconditionally

If you don’t break these rules then you won’t mature and grow in character, you’ll blame others for things that are your responsibility, you will stay reactive instead of proactive, or you’ll jump from one toxic relationship to another.

What you’ll need to do instead is face reality and enter into a growth process, work on changing yourself, and love with limits, boundaries, and consequences.

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.