In this episode Ariel talks about the value of providing feedback and some tips on how to do that.
Tips for Sharing Feedback:
Trust your intuition
If you get an intuitive insight to share feedback with someone, make sure you take the time to do this. It sends a message to your subconscious that your feelings and insights are valid, and that you have enough confidence, and care for yourself enough to share your feelings and insights with others. It builds a positive relationship with yourself.
Get permission first
Getting permission is key, so that people are receptive, and don't feel like their boundaries are being violated. If you launch into giving feedback without getting permission first, you look like a rude, bossy, controlling person, and a natural reaction of someone would be to be defensive or ignore you. When you don't get permission first, you often trigger peoples' parent/child archetypes, where you show up as a parent and they are a child. Naturally, people feel uncomfortable in this situation.
Bring compassion to your feedback
Before you speak, connect with your Heart Chakra in the centre of your chest. Imagine a pink light there that emanates from there through your entire body. Imagine you are connecting with a deep Source of loving compassion. And from this place of compassion, what would you say to this person? It probably would not be anything like, "You have too much stuff," or "I hated your class," or any kind of shaming or patronising comment. It would be something that would let them know your experience of what they are doing without being negative, but instead, indicating how they could grow.
Express gratitude when a person listens
It is so important to give thanks, in some way, that a person spent their valuable time listening to you. It reinforces to your subconscious that people do listen (which is an important lesson for all of us to learn and hear, and often different than what we were taught in childhood), WHILE sending the powerful and positive energy of gratitude to that person, which triggers a positive endorphin release. Generating a positive energy flow also encourages people to listen more to feedback in the future, and it also creates a positive bonding experience with that person.
Avoid having expectations of that person "doing" anything with your feedback
Let yourself have the satisfaction that you did share your feelings and insights and feel good about that. Let go of your egoic desire to have the person "get it" or take a specific action based on your feedback. We are all sentient beings making our own choices, and the other person may choose to ignore your feedback. Just let sharing it and having it be heard be enough. Then you don't cloud the positive energy exchange with your expectations and desires and that frees up a lot of energy to feel happy and free!
BEST MOMENTS
“Even though we live in an economy that’s based on feedback, when it comes to interpersonal interactions, many people are afraid to do this, especially people from younger generations.”
“Have you ever considered that sharing your insights could provide invaluable information for someone to learn, improve, heal or grow?”
“When people are receptive to feedback they don’t feel like their boundaries are being violated and that makes it more likely that information is going in and that they’re going to receive it.”
“There are times I’ve taken risks where I wanted to give feedback to someone because I thought it would affect their career. I was nervous about it but, I trusted my intuition that I needed to talk about it, I asked for permission, I spoke with compassion, and I thanked them for their time and it was life-changing for them because the compassion I used to give them the information translated into me giving them feedback that completely changed the way they did things which opened up a whole other realm for them in their career.”
ABOUT THE HOST
Ariel is a Licensed Massage Therapist, Registered Clinical Hypnotherapist, Reiki Master, Empath and Psychic who has been involved in holistic healing since 1988. She is also an educator, speaker, author and mentor for empaths, spiritual seekers and medical professionals. To reach Ariel, go to www.arielhubbard.com, where you will be able to contact her directly. Please let her know you heard her on the podcast and the assistance you need or question you have.
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