主播：雄叔
地点：上海

跟着雄叔读， get 撩汉，撩妹大法：

I hate you. Wow, not really. I hate when you are not here with me.
我讨厌没有你的日子

Fuck Valentine’s Day, I love you every single day.
去他妈的情人节，老子每天都爱你

February 14 To Do List: You.
2月14日待办事项：你

I’m so glad you’re as weird as me. Poop.
我太开心了，因为你和我一样蛇精病, 我亲爱的狗屎蛋

You’re the one. I text when I’m drunk. That’s love.
你就是我的唯一, 唯一我喝醉的时候会发信息的, 这就是爱。

I love you more than this. You know what this is. This is an iPhone.
我爱你，比这还多, 这可是个iPhone

You are the reason I get up in the morning…
Just kidding….I have to pee.
每天叫醒我的不是梦想，是你
逗你的，叫醒我的是尿意

Loving you is like having diarrhea.
I just can’t hold it in!
爱你就像腹泻
根本停不下来

I knew I loved you.
When I farted, and you didn’t run away.
在这一刻我知道自己深爱你
因为我放屁的时候你竟然没有跑开

I’m still not sick of you.
和你在一起很久了，可我还没开始讨厌你

US.
Because everyone else sucks.
只能我们在一起
其他人都太糟心了

I’m thinking of you, but not in a creepy way.
I’ve only driven past your house like once. It’s not like I picture your face all the time or anything, Okay, so maybe I’ve been thinking of you in like a marginally creepy way.
Oh my god, why am I telling you this?
Never mind. I’m totally not thinking of you at all.
我一直在想你，但也没有特别想
我只开车绕你家了一圈，我也没有一直在想你的脸
好吧我承认自己也许想你想得有些过分
哦苍天大地我跟你说这个干嘛？！
没事没事，我一点都没有在想你

I’m willing to tolerate you forever.
我忍你，一辈子！

I hope your day is as nice as your butt.
我希望你今天过得很棒,
就像你的翘臀一样棒

I’d let you see my browser history.
我都可以让你看我的浏览记录,
你说我有多爱你

You treat me like a unicore even when I’m an ass.
有时候我是个蠢驴
但你还把我当做珍贵的独角兽
….

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主播，制作：雄叔|编辑: 永清
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