"Topical like a salve." Mawwage is what bwings us together, as evidenced by this week's tribute to our mom and dad, Ovi and Nicke, on the occasion of their 1000th game together. Lotta talk about long-term relationships in this one, actually: the Caps and crafting, Eva and the Detroit Red Wings, Robin Lehner and snakes, us and the trade deadline. May as well renew our vows. This episode was recorded on March 9, 2022.

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Timecodes: (02:27) One Of Us | (10:04) #ALLCAPS | (31:40) Elsewhere in the NHL | (50:38) Gone Shoppin’, Girl!

"Be sedate WITH sheer panels." The success (knock wood) of some of this season's replacement NHL coaches seems to suggest that leading teams from a place of love and respect...works? Kelly, Rave, and Eva discuss this shocking possibility, plus Joe Snively's ascendancy, Jack Eichel's return, celebratory Finns, and, of course, always: boybands. This episode was recorded on February 22, 2022.

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Timecodes: (03:16) Teamstrology | (13:11) #ALLCAPS | (24:54) Elsewhere in the NHL | (46:58) Olympics update | (1:01:14) Band of Buddies

"Local short king makes good." If the recent performance of the Washington Capitals is any indication, we’re fully in our clown slip era, so Rave, Eva, and Kelly are leaning in with the help of some of our greatest hits: AI-generated Valentine’s greetings, a stern admonishment that we know Brad Marchand will ignore, and big questions about the Calgary Flames’ trade activities. This episode was recorded on February 15, 2022.

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Timecodes: (03:05) Chin Up Princess Or The Clown Slips
| (13:18) #ALLCAPS | (43:25) Elsewhere in the NHL | (54:55) Love Bot

"Over-produced yet under-interesting." What a weekend! The NHL’s alleged “all stars” gathered in Vegas for embarrassing sketch comedy and some approximation of beer-league hockey and in the process gave Eva, Kelly, and Rave MUCH to discuss. This episode was recorded on February 8, 2022.

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Timecodes: (02:20) 'Jaws' Theme Intensifies | (08:12) All Star Weekend | (41:15) #ALLCAPS | (45:11) Elsewhere in the NHL/Olympics | (54:00) Feel'd Day

"Flopping loose provolone all around." Kelly, Eva, and Rave kick off the year of the tiger with hearts full of feelings over Braden Holtby and brains full of next-level ideas to improve the All Star Game, the Arizona Coyotes organization, and the Washington Capitals' collective understanding of grade school math. Put us in charge immediately. This episode was recorded on February 3, 2022.

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Timecodes: (03:42) Lunar New Year | (10:01) #ALLCAPS | (46:44) Elsewhere in the NHL | (1:10:40) All Star! [Shrek]

"The audacity. The PAW-dacity." Which teams are at the top of the NHL right now? Seriously, we're asking, because between allegations of shapelessness and the darkness of McNugget McMinutes, lots of 'em seem to be Going Through It. Join Rave, Kelly, and Eva for their usual searing analysis, plus talk of sexy goals, puppy pals, eldritch bitches, and more. This episode was recorded on January 25, 2022.

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Timecodes: (01:54) How To Say "Cat" In Russian | (15:24) #ALLCAPS | (48:05) Elsewhere in the NHL

"I know what you did last anytime." The Avs are trying not to laugh, the Caps are trying not to win, and Eva, Rave, and Kelly are trying to figure out if certain NHL teams can make it out of implausible life-or-death scenarios unscathed. Also for consideration: Leon the unprofessional, Prong the inspiring, and Brad the Lambo (we guess?!). This episode was recorded on January 19, 2022.

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Timecodes: (03:52) Achieve! Sport! | (09:21) #ALLCAPS | (36:22) Elsewhere in the NHL | (1:05:48) They Shouldn't Be Alive

"Rachael Leigh Cook-ing it through life." The Bootleggers referred to in this episode's title have nothing to do with the hockey team currently playing in the Windy City and everything to do with this episode's prevailing theme, which we'd classify as "Luxury without effort." Other topics that Kelly, Eva, and Rave dissect: four hilarious Caps losses, J'accuse in the spotlight, dragging Andre hours, Evander Kane to Edmonton?!, and the sorry state of the NHL's "commitment" to diversity. This episode was recorded on January 11, 2022.

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Timecodes: (04:41) How To... | (09:17) #ALLCAPS | (25:39) Elsewhere in the NHL | (44:38) Tape Out Hate, you dicks | (56:58) Creation Zone

"On the basis of 'feels like it.'" Ready to get going? Better be, because it's 2022 now, allegedly, and Rave, Eva, Kelly, and the NHL are hitting the ice at a slow glide. This week: Ovi ascendency, neck heroism, Avs horniness, Summer Olympics sadness, and both the dad AND home generator of the year. Boner. This episode was recorded on January 5, 2022.

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Timecodes: (05:42) The Grid | (13:40) #ALLCAPS | (36:29) Elsewhere in the NHL | (53:36) Red Flag Emoji

"You're gonna lube this." While we enjoy a lil holiday break, we hope you enjoy this formerly Patreon-exclusive bonus segment. Continuing a journey we first began in Episode #131, Rave leads Kelly and Eva further into the abyss of the 2021 Goop Gift Guide, featuring bathroom soap dispenser noises, a dog named Popcorn, Ellen Pompeo's sleepytime routine, and much (too much!) more. This segment was recorded on November 23, 2021.

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