Impulse buys — love them or regret them, we all have them. And this week, we’re putting our bank statements on the table and exposing our most unhinged purchases of the year so far.From breaking the bank on stationery to selling our kidneys for would-be family heirlooms, and convincing ourselves we’re definitely not just gonna use it once — you might wanna sit down for this very expensive show-and-tell.#youmightwannasitdownforthispodcast Follow The Takeaway Table!https://www.instagram.com/thetakeawaytable/ Join our Community Discord Server!https://discord.gg/thetakeawaytable

CHAPTERS

04:45 - Justifying a RM3.89K mall cop scooter

12:50 - The Anywhere 3s

14:20 - Strictly killing expensive Japanese trees

29:50 - What standup comics stand on

22:50 - Buying the Midori of new jeans

27:35 - Japanese denim maker hype

31:00 - God level RM900 stationary hauls

31:30 - We only bring dogshit water to S&S

34:30 - The Parker Pen

36:45 - Graeme’s Influencer starter pack

41:25 - The end game coffee maker

44:50 - Dropping RM13k on a coffee machine

45:25 - Mingyue & Sof’s home cafe

47:00 - End Game Items

48:24 - Strong Independent Corporate Girl Bag

52:00 - Buying a RM25K family heirloom

56:00 - Single-use happiness only buys

1:00:00 - Can’t make this one up it’s bad bad

1:07:50 - Buying a sandwich shop

This week, three married people stage a soft intervention on our proudly single friend — who’s fully ready to skip dating and check herself straight into an old folks home. We’re unpacking whether people actually wait to marry the right person, or just whoever’s conveniently there, and stirring the pot to find out if married folks secretly miss being single. And if someone hot and emotionally stable wanted to wife you up… would you still be anti-marriage?

It’s not a debate. It’s not a roast. It’s a gentle bullying session in the name of love — and if you’ve ever questioned your relationship status (or lack of one), you might wanna sit down for this.#youmightwannasitdownforthispodcast Follow The Takeaway Table!https://www.instagram.com/thetakeawaytable/ Join our Community Discord Server!https://discord.gg/thetakeawaytable―CHAPTERS

00:36 - Mingyue’s brown phlegm

01:25 - Sleep waking for a sandwich

03:00 - Meet Hampu!!

04:45 - Single and emotionally unavailable

09:30 - Is finding “The One” the end?

12:20 - END OF THE WORLD MARRIAGES

14:40 - Having no game no rizz no roster

18:18 - Do you miss being single?

20:00 - Single people are try-hards

23:00 - Marriage pacts with our friends

27:40 - Building a roster for each other

28:50 - Do hot and emotionally available men exist

30:30 - Red Flags is the reason we don’t trust love

33:00 - We’re making a green flags show

36:00 - She loves me for my allergy attacks

37:00 - Subjecting your wife as a homemaker

38:30 - Finding orphan boyfriends

39:40 - JUST DO OPEN RELATIONSHIPS

40:50 - Single by choice or no one’s choosing you?

41:40 - Forcing a dating show on the office

44:00 - Being in love vs. short-lived crush

45:50 - Not saying “I love you” back

48:50 - Dating for marriage

53:20 - Really hopings and many dreamings

56:40 - Happy single vs sad with someone

57:50 - PIMPING VIVIAN OUT!!!

This week, we’re calling out everyone still holding on to their highschool glory days.

Did we peak too early? Would we actually go back? Or are we just bitter because we were the weird ones in school? From shadowing the popular kids to the curse of being hot too young — we’re airing it all out. If any of this feels a little too real… you might wanna sit down for this.

In this very patriotic episode, we’re repping our home states and going head-to-head to settle once and for all: which Malaysian state reigns supreme? Is PJ just overpriced cafes and traffic? Does Sabah actually have things to do? Should Penang drivers even be allowed on the road?

Sai joins us for this very serious debate — featuring Hilux kids, fake humble PJ folks, and Penangites who think their ‘prawn mee’ is God’s gift. No state is safe.

Chapters

00:25 - We ghosted Sai for 6 years

03:25 - Why Penang people hate us

05:00 - Sai does standup????

06:12 - Which state is superior?

08:40 - Why Sabah only eat’s noodles

12:00 - There’s no pride in PJ

17:30 - Penang has name power

27:00 - Auto City is Desa Park City??

29:00 - Sai’s KL Story

31:48 - MRT x Pokemon Go launch

32:40 - PJ has main character syndrome

38:33 - PJ has nothing to offer

39:52 - Sabah do what one?

46:20 - The Superior BM Accent

50:00 - Is Mainland Fake Penang?

53:00 - Penang Princess???

55:40 - Penang drivers should be illegal

58:05 - Failing the Japan license 7 times

1:02:24 - Gardenia Shortage

1:07:00 - MUST HAVES in each state!

Follow Sai on Instagram at:

https://www.instagram.com/sai_cx/

This episode, Rizal, Kavin, and Prakash join us on the couch to prove just how out of touch we’ve become. From bedrotting to buying flowers at Pasar Seni, to why Gen Alpha takes 0.5x selfies and drafts each other’s breakup texts—we’re struggling to keep up. Also, the comedians spill the tea on their upcoming shows at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival!

Follow Rizal on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rizalvangeyzel/Follow Kavin on Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/kavinjay/Follow Prakash on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/prakashdanielcomedy/Follow The Takeaway Table!https://www.instagram.com/thetakeawaytable/ Join our Community Discord Server!https://discord.gg/thetakeawaytableCHAPTERS00:16 - The 3 Pillars of The Community 04:00 - Should interns haggle for payment?06:00 - Having Alpha Kids06:40 - Applying To Chinese School 12:37 - Things Young People Do That We Don’t Get16:47 - Taking 0.5x Pictures19:40 - Drafting breakup texts in the groupchat21:40 - Kavin doesn’t know Google Docs22:10 - Hanging gundams on your bags 25:20 - Celebrating 10 Dayseversaries29:24 - Buying Pasar Seni Flowers32:25 - Bedrotting & Brainrotting 37:10 - The Coachella of Comedy 41:27 - The WHAT Show???43:00 - How Rizal Went To Jail 44:40 - Unsolicited Advice from Kavin Jay45:40 - Lobster Boy Prakash 46:30 - Whitewashing Our Jokes50:20 - Local Comedians Going international 51:56 - Creative ways to pass flyers 55:00 - The comedy show on steroids

We’re officially letting go of our hater pasts and entering our healing era! In this episode, we’re getting out of the city, touching some grass, and figuring out what berhealing actually means.

From our go-to ways to unwind to the things that (barely) keep us sane, we’re diving deep into how we rest, recover, and recharge.

Special thanks to MameeChef, Norreen, and Ceddy for joining us on what’s basically our mini mukbang.

#MameeChef #KenikmatanSebenar #SetiapMeenitBerhealing

Follow Norreen on Instagram at:

https://www.instagram.com/norreen143/

Follow Ceddy on Instagram at:

https://www.instagram.com/ceddyornot/#youmightwannasitdownforthispodcast Follow The Takeaway Table!https://www.instagram.com/thetakeawaytable/ Join our Community Discord Server!https://discord.gg/thetakeawaytable

CHAPTERS

00:18 - WE ARE SAT

03:40 - Berhealing and touching grass

05:34 - Norreen is taking stunt classes??

10:40 - Staying present for our pets

16:40 - Minghan’s Live Cooking Demo

17:25 - We’re kinda sick of holidays

19:50 - Mukbang intermission

23:00 - People who heal from travels are liars

24:20 - Healing is to be an old man

27:30 - Healing is playing Marvel Rivals

36:10 - Healing is lowkey road raging

39:15 - Rendang Narrations

44:30 - Missing mamak sessions as adults

52:00 - Fixing burnout through friendship

56:25 - Finding our community

58:10 - Focusing on yourself!!!

01:01:40 - Outro!

What’s one embarrassing moment you’ll never live down?

In this episode, we’re digging up our most humiliating, sleep-ruining moments—the kind that still make us cringe years later. Brace yourself for secondhand embarrassment so intense, you’ll HAVE TO stay seated for this one.

Is it bad to change yourself for your partner? Settle in cause we’re getting deep in this one. This episode, we’re diving into what it means to be “open”, finding yourself while dating, and whether how our romantic relationships have shaped us for the better... or worse.

Chapters00:21 - Sorry about our lemongs01:10 - Introducing new friends!06:15 - What it means to be “Open”11:38 - Testing the waters or being serious?20:00 - The mansplaining issue 23:00 - Dating to “find yourself” 28:00 - Are Casual Relationships Beneficial?30:30 - Our Non-negotiable33:30 - Changing for a relationship 40:45 - Relationship regrets54:35 - Is it okay to ghost? 56:50 - Making your partner your personality 01:03:00 - Our Ideal Types 1:11:28 - Why we DON’T recommend our friends

This episode, we’re joined by our freshly debuted movie star Hindra!We dive into what’s really on a guy’s mind in his 30s—feeling forever old, debunking expectations, and revealing our guilty pleasure buys that keep the midlife crisis at bay.Catch Simple Manusan in cinemas from 20 February!CHAPTERS:00:00 - Intro00:30 - MOVIE STAR Hindra is back!02:00 - About Simple Manusan 03:30 - Impress Hindra for tickets06:00 - I don’t know about me I’m 3308:10 - Minghan has been an uncle his whole life 10:49 - The litmus test of becoming 3010:44 - Hindra has been 30 since 2118:00 - Reaching NET ZERO in your 20s19:35 - When your knees start shaking before your hips 20:30 - Things to do before you turn 3024:30 - Travelling in your 30s 25:37 - Maybe single people are dirty27:45 - Assumptions for your 30s 32:25 - You should settle down by now 36:45 - Why are you taking money you don’t have 38:30 - Matching our inner freaks41:34 - Trust guys who paint Gundams 43:40 - Guy guilty pleasures48:30 - Purchases that anger our wives 51:30 - Buying a magnesium alloy mouse 54:00 - Buying street cred 57:35 - Shopee King Graeme 1:02:35 - Would you have stayed single?1:04:30 - Hindra got slapped 8 times 1:07:00 - OutroFollow Hindra on Instagram at:https://www.instagram.com/mamajammapuma/

Follow The Takeaway Table!https://www.instagram.com/thetakeawaytable/

Happy Chinese New Year! In this episode, we're getting rowdy with Jenhan to expose our most controversial opinions for the new year - from setting an age limit to angpaos, to renting a girlfriend for reunion dinners. You might wanna sit down for this hot take debate.

00:00 - Intro

00:20 - Explaining the wardrobe malfunction 

04:00 - Being bananas 

04:45 - CNY special menus are overhyped?

11:47 - CNY ’25 is too close to Christmas 

12:30 - Jenhan’s Beef with translations

15:09 - Festive short films are cancelled

15:23 - S-Tier to ASS Tier CNY Influencer MVs

27:40 - Unmarried people don’t deserve angpaos 

32:40 - You actually care about relatives or just want money 

34:20 - Traveling to avoid relatives 

36:46 - Lion dances at home is flexing 

38:48 - 20 minute firework shows 

40:30 - Lion dance that have LED lights 

41:20 - Stop visiting your GF/BF’s house 

42:25 - Rent a boyfriend

47:00 - Non chinese food tastes better during CNY

48:00 - Why does lemon sounds weird in cantonese 

52:35 - Outro