Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

PATREON, I told you to put that down!

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WOW! say it again! WOW! Open your mouth so the whole dog can fit in the bathtub!

Today we discover which gender we are (it's really changing at every moment). Plus Bert Is Fat and Why Is Bert So Fat really took off! We have all the fat comments. 

Dental Updates, dating inflatable animals, Joey Diaz being a SAVAGE and more!

NO LOOSE DENIM ALLOW

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Morning news is the best. It opens the doors to grown up jokes about "Salad Tossing" (with real salads!) PLUS DJ Dad Mouth gets to muck around and have some fun!

If you're gonna talk that ISH before you arm-wrestle, make sure you, you know, WIN. 

Unbelievably, the girl who was defending Hitler on YouTube was kicked off for HATE speech. Weird that YouTube doesn't know that Hitler watches YouTube all day. 

This episode is completely non-binary so please use proper pronouns. It's not a preference, it's a REQUIREMENT. 

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Did Bunz touch the sacred spot with Tina only mere feet away? JEANS.

Which Braxton are you today? Is it the one that's DATING Birdman? WUUUUUT.

Tom's awesome jacket is way cooler than Tina's art teacher jacket. Have you seen it? No, seriously, have you?

The master of accents becomes even more masterful in this one. PLUS, was Hitler THAT bad? 

Would You Rather's, Fan Mail, Seagal, Butt hair and MORE!

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You see thing about pimpin, man. You want a happy ho. Happy ho's eat, sad ho's don't. If you want to keep your stable out there and earnin then keep your ho's happy. 

This is the only podcast that provides cool insight like that. Also, Top Dog did it again. Yup, you guessed it, his face meat hit the numbers on the phone when we spoke to him. Oh yeah, he sharted too. Great story.

All that and more. Just get your jeans on. 

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Whoa those are some awfully BIG WORDS you said there. This week we have some incredible mentions of the BIGGEST of big words. Someone even said it to the Prez!

Plus a foreign accent that seems DOUBTFUL and a DENTAL UPDATE that will have you brushing extra hard tonight. 

Seems like Mozart was a mommy, 20,000 years ago when he was alive and that's just somethin you gotta Respek. 

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