Have you ever felt like your emotions were wrong — or that your partner just couldn't connect with what you were feeling? In this episode, Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton share candidly about their decades-long marriages to neurodivergent partners and the years of confusion, shame, and unintentional hurt that came from not having a name for what was happening.

They break down alexithymia — one of the most overlooked challenges in neurodiverse relationships — along with interoception, emotional flooding, and the communication differences that left both partners feeling unseen. They also share a touching listener comment about what it looks like when understanding finally arrives.

If you've ever wondered why your partner seems to logicalize your emotions, dismiss your feelings, or simply not register your pain — this episode is for you.

Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton introduce their new podcast, “Navigating Neurodiverse Love and Life,” sharing their backgrounds and why they partnered to create a more personal, casual show about neurodiverse romantic relationships, families, and life as a neurodivergent person or parent. Mona, host of the Neurodiverse Love podcast since 2020, describes discovering her marriage was neurodiverse late in a 30-year relationship, her divorce in 2018, and her related projects, including conferences, a docuseries, conversation cards, coaching, and support groups. Jodi shares how understanding neurodivergence began with her 23-year-old daughter’s autism diagnosis, discovering that her own marriage was neurodiverse after 19 years and a divorce, her work coaching neurodiverse couples worldwide, and her upcoming book, The Misunderstood Mind. They invite viewers to send questions to shape future episodes and note the show will be published on both of their podcast platforms and YouTube channels.

00:00 Meet Mona and Jodi

00:35 New Podcast Launch

01:10 Send Questions In

01:28 Why We Teamed Up

02:30 Mona’s Story and Mission

04:55 Jodi’s Journey and New Book

08:37 Show Topics and Healing

11:53 Community and Networks

13:37 Family Patterns and Narcissism

18:47 Bodies Hormones and Health

22:39 Coaching vs Therapy

30:57 Wrap Up and Where to Find Us

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Navigating Neurodiverse Life and Love is a casual show about neurodiverse romantic relationships, families, and life as a neurodivergent person or parent, hosted by Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton, two leading voices in the area of neurodiverse life and love.

jodicarlton.com

Autism is not a childhood disease. It's not something we catch, acquire in childhood, or grow out of — and the science on this has been clear for decades. In this episode I'm responding directly to the current conversation about what autism is and isn't, and setting the record straight with research, personal experience, and 20+ years of working in this field.

I cover what autism actually looks like across the lifespan, what the DSM-5 levels mean in real terms, and why the push to find a "cure" fundamentally misunderstands what autism is. I also speak honestly to families who are struggling at the more profound end of the spectrum — because their experience is real and deserves to be part of this conversation too.

Autism is a lifelong, hereditary, natural variation of the human brain. And our world wouldn't be where it is without it.

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➔ Read the blog: Autism Isn’t a Childhood Disease—It’s Time We Embrace Neurodiversity at Every Age

Neurodivergence has been framed as something to fix for far too long—and that framing is doing real harm. In this bonus episode, I'm talking about the neurodiversity paradigm shift: moving away from a deficit-based model and toward understanding neurological differences as natural variations in the human brain, not personal failures.

I share the research, the language that's holding us back, and the personal moment that started my own journey: sitting in a workshop and realizing—with chills—that the speaker was describing my daughter.

When we stop trying to fix neurodiversity and start understanding it, everything changes: our relationships, our communities, and how we see ourselves.

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👉 Read the blog: A New Perspective on Neurodiversity: Understanding Differences Without Judgment

👉 Free assessments and resources

Neurodivergent parenting comes with a kind of exhaustion that's hard to explain—and even harder to admit. As an ADHD mom with an autistic daughter and an ADHD son, I've lived every stage of it: the sensory overwhelm and specialist appointments in the early years, IEP battles and school advocacy in the middle years, and the delicate push toward independence as your kids grow into adulthood.

If you've ever felt like you're running on empty, or wondered if any of this gets easier, this one is for you. Part personal story, part permission slip.

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👉 Read the blog: Hey Mama, I See You — Navigating The Exhaustion of Parenting a Neurodivergent Child

Autism microaggressions are everywhere. And most people delivering them have no idea they're causing harm.

"You don't look autistic."

These comments feel like compliments. For autistic individuals, their partners, and their families, they land like paper cuts—small, accumulating, and quietly damaging over time.

In this bonus episode, I unpack why these well-meaning comments are so harmful, how confirmation bias and outdated stereotypes lead even professionals to dismiss autistic people, and what masking is really costing the people we love. I also share something my daughter—diagnosed autistic at five, and told repeatedly that she doesn't look it—asked me to read on her behalf.

Autism doesn't have a look, but it does deserve to be seen. 💙

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➔ Read the blog: Autism Microaggressions: Why "You Don't Look Autistic" Does More Harm Than You Think

➔ Free assessments and resources

ADHD relationships don't come with a manual—but Part 2 of my conversation with Jana and Matt gets as close as anything I've recorded. We zoom in on what actually helps neurodiverse couples move from "you're doing it wrong" to clear, workable requests, and why old scripts keep running even after real growth.

Jana shares two practical accommodations that changed everything for them: adjusting seasoning so everyone can eat comfortably, and normalizing separate sleep spaces to protect deep rest. Matt explains why requests land so differently than criticism—and how problem-solving as a team builds connection, trust, and day-to-day ease.

Missed Part 1? Start there first 🎧

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Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community

ADHD / neurotypical relationships come with a specific kind of friction—and nervous system dysregulation is often at the center of it. In Part 1 of my conversation with Jana, an ADHD resilience coach, and her husband Matt, a neurotypical engineer, we unpack the "thinker/feeler" dynamic, the pursuer–retreater cycle, and what it looks like when dysregulation hijacks a hard conversation.

We get into the practical tools that helped them shift the pattern: active listening, pausing for your "best self," and one surprisingly effective strategy—recording tough conversations to spot misunderstandings and reset the narrative.

Ready for Part 2? Listen here.

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When emotions run high, meltdowns happen, and communication breaks down, what helps neurodiverse couples stay connected? In Part 2 of this conversation, Randall and Ashley share how they’ve learned to manage overload, communicate through shutdowns, and rebuild calm after conflict.

Ashley explains how Jodi’s “I’m okay” mantra helps her separate Randall’s emotions from her own, while Randall describes the tools that help him prevent meltdowns—like weighted blankets, routines, and clear recovery time. Together, they reveal how empathy, preparation, and boundaries create safer connection and a stronger marriage.

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/LR3i_mUUiPQ

Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships

Holidays, routines, and even dishwashers can test any couple—but for neurodiverse partners, those differences can feel magnified. In this episode, Jodi talks with Randall and Ashley about what they’ve learned since discovering Randall’s autism and how it’s changed their relationship for the better.

They share simple but powerful tools—like Jodi’s “2-or-10” scale for deciding what’s worth energy, and the “I’m okay” mantra that helps calm emotional overload. Together, they show how curiosity, communication, and empathy can make all the difference in a neurodiverse relationship.

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Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships