一席英语·脱口秀：老外来了

 主播：Flora（中国）+ Selah（美国）

 歌曲： I Count on Me

Today, we will discuss life lessons (人生道理) about interpersonal relationships (人际关系). 有哪些人际关系的道理是你现在才悟到的？

Almost every problem in the world can be traced back to relationships (世界上几乎每一个问题都可以追溯到人际关系). Whether it’s misunderstandings, conflicts, or even broader societal issues (更广泛的社会问题), it all often starts with how we connect with one another.

其实relationship这个词不光是指romantic relationship（恋爱关系），还包括friendships（朋友关系）, relationships with your family and co-workers（家庭关系和同事关系）等等。这些都是属于interpersonal relationships（人际关系）。

01. Always be sincere 永远保持真诚

Sincerity is the foundation of building a relationship (建立人际关系的基础). 你要向别人display your sincerity (展示你的真诚)，关键在于你是否真的真诚待人。Basically, sincere people really mean the things they say.

This means that when you care for someone, you really care and not just try to gain something from your relationship with them. You care about them as a human being, and want what’s best for them (你关心的是他们的人格，并希望他们得到最好的).

Flora thinks it's a quite valuable quality, especially nowadays when some people are no longer willing to remain honest and tell the truth in many situations. Sometimes they just create a persona (塑造一个人设) for themselves to be liked by others. But that's not who they really are.

Just show them your true self; those who like you will naturally be drawn to you. And it's also important to talk about your true feelings and thoughts, both positive and negative. But some may just feel ashamed to talk about these sometimes (但有些人有时会觉得羞于启齿).

They might have all sorts of concerns (担忧), like what others think of them. But it can really let each other know where your relationship is headed in the future (让彼此知道你们关系的走向). How you feel in a relationship matters, and it determines whether or not you want to stay in the relationship (决定了你是否想要留在这段关系中). 

Flora wasn't very good at expressing her feelings, but then she realized that doing so has so many benefits. 比如说简单的一句“今天和你玩得很开心”就会让对方收到一个正向的信号，这意味着你们的关系可能在向好的方向发展。

Similarly, alert the other person when you feel offended (感受到被冒犯) and tell them how you feel, which will prevent them from hurting you and your relationship further, even though they may not mean to (即使对方不是故意这样做的).

02. Communication is the key 沟通是关键

Being able to communicate effectively is an invaluable skill (很宝贵的技能). 世界上绝大部分问题是由人际关系引起的，而其中靠沟通能解决的问题其实是占很多的。You need to be able to communicate what you want, need, feel or think to someone else.

Otherwise there can be miscommunications (误解) that lead to walls being built in this relationship (在这段关系中造成隔阂). 有时候换位思考也达不到和解的时候，可能是别人不知道你的需求是什么。这时候能破冰的一点就是：You need to communicate what you want, need directly：Conform? Apology? Help? Or something.

Good communication can take time and practice especially as you learn the communication style of that person (尤其是当你了解了对方的沟通方式之后), but it is important.

不过大家可能还担心的一个点是："I want to express my needs directly, but what if he or she thinks I'm just being too sensitive or high-maintenance (太敏感或者让人耗神了)?" 但是，如果对方真的在乎你以及你们的关系的话，只要你的需求是合理的，他大概率应该是不会这么想的。

If someone actually tells you, 'You're just too sensitive,' and expresses that they can't accept your feelings, then congratulations—now you know that this relationship isn't right for you. Maybe they are just gaslighting (煤气灯操纵). 遇上这种人的话你要考虑一下你们的关系了。Maybe this relationship isn't right for you.

•gaslight vt. <非正式> PUA，心理操控使人产生自我怀疑

Part of learning to communicate is also learning to accept and respect differences (接受和尊重差异). Just because someone is different from you, does not mean they are bad or weird. They are just different.

It is important to know that someone sees something differently and learn how to accept it and accommodate (适应) it, just like you would want someone to do for you.

03. Interpersonal relationships must be maintained 人际关系是需要维持的

Especially in today's fast-paced lifestyle, it's easy for us to overlook the maintenance of our relationships (很容易忽视对关系的维持). Especially as an adult, they require investment (需要投入)- time and effort.

If you are not watering a seed, how do you expect it to grow into a flower? Even when it became a flower, you had to fertilize (施肥) it, water it, and even catch bugs sometimes.

04. Relationships without personal boundaries won't last long. 

没有边界感的关系是不会长久的。

You should put time and effort to invest, but at the same time, you have to heave boundaries to protect others and yourself. 有时候我们遇到一些和自己特别聊得来的人就容易忘记一些boundaries（边界）。

But it's these boundaries that can keep your relationship stable. That's why it's important to gradually learn their boundaries and demonstrate your own (了解他们的界限并展示自己的界限) when dealing with others. 这样双方就都会在一种很舒服的状态下沟通了。

Selah has some relationships that take more out of her and take away from her life, in which case she needs to set boundaries. Actually, boundaries have always existed within us; it's just that when they're constantly being crossed, we feel the need to make them clearer (只是当它们不断被跨越时，我们觉得有必要让它们更加清晰).

Another similar one is don't compromise your principles for them (不要在自己的原则上有所妥协). 大胆展示自己的原则，对方才会知道和你交谈的范围在哪，而不是疯狂踩雷。

05. Relationships: it’s good to consider quality over quantity 注重质量胜于数量

Our time and energy are limited. You cannot be best friends with everyone. When you feel that maintaining relationships has taken too much of your energy and time, maybe you should consider which ones are unnecessary.

When thinking about relationships, it’s good to consider quality over quantity. So sometimes you may need to have fewer friends to cultivate good and meaningful ones.

A bunch of acquaintances may not measure up to a true friend (一群泛泛之交可能比不过一个真正的朋友).

Thank you for joining us as we explored these insights together. We hope you feel inspired to cultivate deeper, more meaningful relationships (培养更深层次、更有意义的人际关系) in your life. Until next time, take care and keep fostering those connections!

请在评论区告诉我们：有哪些人际交往的道理是你后来才悟到的？

 主播：Flora（中国）+ Erin（美国）

 歌曲： I Count on Me

今天我们要聊一个非常有趣并且比较深刻的话题，关于一些看似流行但其实可以被视为toxic (有毒) 的建议。

Today, we’re unpacking some of these popular “toxic” suggestions and exploring a healthier, more realistic way (更健康、更现实的方法) to approach them. 

This isn’t to say all advice is bad (并不是说所有的建议都是不好的), but it’s crucial to recognize when advice doesn’t quite apply to your own situation. 

01. “Just be yourself.” 做你自己。

It sounds positive. 但是这句话省略了一个非常重要的premise（前提）that is you’re already self-aware and respectful of others (你建立了自我意识和对他人的尊重). The problem with this advice is that it implies any version of yourself is perfect (任何时候的你自己都是完美的) just as it is.

But personal growth is about identifying areas where we can improve, not just accepting everything at face value (从表面上看). Growth is about learning, progress and transformation (转变) and going beyond yourself. 片面地理解这句话可能会lead you astray (让你误入歧途)。

So, instead of using “be yourself” as a blanket excuse, think of it as “be the best version of yourself (做最好的自己).” Ask yourself, “Am I truly living up to my potential (发挥了我的潜力吗)? Is this really my best self?”

02. “Show them what they’re missing.” 做出点什么让他们看看。

This is the idea of proving others wrong by showing them you can succeed. 但是如果你的动力是建立在向别人证明自己的基础上，actually the mindset can become toxic.

If your motivation is solely to get validation (仅仅是为得到认可) or prove something to others, then your success isn’t really for you (你的成功不是真正为了自己), is it?

Live for yourself, guys. If you think their assertions (断言) are ridiculous and toxic, just stay away from them. Not all people are careful with their words (审慎发言), but you don't have to take responsibility for their mistakes.

一种更健康的说法是“Achieve your goals because they matter to you, not as a form of revenge or validation.” Let your accomplishments be something that fulfills you—not something that proves a point (而不是证明观点的东西).

03. “Why are you sad? You have everything to be happy about.” 明明有值得高兴的一切，为什么要难过呢？

Flora thinks, to a certain extent, the person who said it is demeaning other people's emotions (贬低别人的情绪). Because no one can fully empathize with someone else (完全感同身受), we never have the right to judge how they really feel.

It implies that external circumstances should control your emotions (意味着外部环境应该控制着你的情绪). 但是情绪并不是这样运作的。This kind of advice can make people feel ashamed of their sadness. But it’s just a natural emotion. So don’t ignore and disrespect your true feelings.

We should recognize that it’s okay to feel down even if things seem fine on the surface. Emotions aren’t something you can rationalize away (合理化)—they’re valid and deserve to be acknowledged (值得被承认).

Instead “Allow yourself to feel what you feel without judgment. Acknowledge it and give yourself the space to work through it.” Then your emotions feel taken care of. Sometimes you think that ignoring your emotions will save you more time, when in reality it will only accumulate more problems (积累更多的问题).

04. “Follow your passion.” 跟随你的激情。

Sounds good, right? But sometimes, this advice can actually be misleading (误导性的).

Flora has heard a lot of successful entrepreneurs say this. It’s often well-intentioned (出于好意的) but it always seems like the reason why people find this quote valid isn't because all those who follow passion can be successful, it's that those who follow passion and aren't successful don't have a voice (而是那些追随激情而不成功的人没有发言权).

并不是每个人的热情都与一个stable career（稳定的职业生涯）或他们的技能相一致，这可能会导致很多frustration（挫折）。

Pursuing your interests is great, but sometimes it’s more practical to look for a balance—finding a job that’s fulfilling but also realistic in terms of earning potential and job prospects (收入潜力和工作前景). 梦想和热忱是要有的，但也要建立在生活的基础之上。

“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.”

Maybe what you felt was against your heart is exactly what you love. There are some things that you don't appreciate until you do them. 有些领域是真正接触后才会感受到它的魅力。所以关键就在于你有没有真正踏实去做。

So, rather than blindly following passion, maybe the better advice would be to find purpose in what you do and keep space for personal growth outside of work too (也为工作之外的个人成长留空间).

You might find a mix of stability and interest that actually works better in the long run (把兴趣和稳定性相结合才是长远之计).

05. “Failure is not an option.” 没有失败这个选项。

没有失败这个选项，也就是只许成功不许失败了。听起来有一种破釜沉舟的决心。

It sounds so determined and tough (坚定而强硬), but if we’re honest, failure is almost always an option—and often the most available one.

Flora doesn't believe there should be anyone in the world who hasn't had a failure. Failure is something that is so common that if we don't allow ourselves to experience it, then it can be a huge blow (巨大的打击) to you when it does happen. 因为你假设自己能够成功但是却没有为失败做任何准备。

As Steven Crowder once said, failure is usually “the easiest and most readily available option.” Trying to pretend it doesn’t exist just isn’t realistic (试图假装它不存在是不现实的), and it doesn’t make you any more likely to succeed (这也不会让你更有可能成功).

A better way to look at it might be, “Failure is likely, but the odds of success increase when you try (失败很有可能，但如果你尝试，成功的几率会增加).”

Flora also has a favorite quote that is very similar to this one: the opposite of success is not failure, it's doing nothing (成功的反面不是失败，而是什么都不做). 总之也是鼓励大家不要惧怕失败，只要尝试就会有成功的可能。

Accepting failure as part of the process can actually be motivating. When you recognize that success often takes multiple tries (成功往往需要多次尝试), failure just becomes part of the learning curve, not some terrible end.

Knowing this will bring you closer to the truth, rather than being deceived by the lies you create (被自己的谎言欺骗). And that’s a mindset shift that helps. It turns failure into something manageable, rather than something you avoid at all costs (而不是一些你不惜一切代价避免的东西).

So, next time you hear popular advice, take a moment to consider how it applies to you. Just because advice sounds good doesn’t mean it’s always good.

Popular advice may be very eye-catching (引人注目的), but it may not always be right for you (不一定是适合你的).

That’s the key—make sure advice aligns with your values and goals. It’s okay to question (质疑) what you hear and even to reject advice if it doesn’t feel right for you.

树立自己良好的values（价值观）会让我们更有判断力，不会人云亦云、随波逐流。

Remember, the best guide for your life is your own informed perspective (你自己的知情视角). Thanks for joining today! Until next time, keep thinking, keep questioning. 

 主播：Maelle（法国）+Selah（美国）

 歌曲：I Count on Me

今天梅莉和Selah要聊一聊“what they miss about China”! 到国外后最想念中国的什么。

Selah has not been back to China since she moved to the US in 2019, so it has been a long time. Maelle has been back a few times, since her family still lives in China. China is considered Selah’s childhood home, so she has many fond memories and nostalgia (怀念).

Maelle在国外和她的中国朋友说她准备“回国”时，他们都会笑，因为Maelle虽然是外国人，但是她说的回国也是中国。China is truly home for Maelle.

What do they miss most after leaving China？

01. China's Cuisine & Convenient Lifestyle 中国的美食和便捷的生活方式

Selah misses food being delicious, fresh, and cheap. When Maelle really misses Asian food, she finds it quite hard to find good and reasonably priced places (价格合理的地方). 在国外找好的中餐厅真的不容易，而且价格会比中国贵。

In the US, food is often very processed (大量加工), and eating out can be very expensive. In France they have really good food. Maelle would not complain on that, but it can be quite expensive for sure, especially coming from China.

Besides food, Selah also misses public transportation. 在中国想去任何地方可以乘公共交通工具and it is very easy! You can take a bus, metro (地铁), taxi and so much more. 

It is so different in the states. 在美国公共交通不是特别的方便。In the US, everyone has to have their own car. 除了大城市like New York or Los Angeles, 其他地方必须得有自己的交通工具。It’s not so convenient.

This is something Maelle really misses about China, how quickly and convenient everything is. 梅莉觉得在中国生活真的很方便, like ordering food, and all the services such as滴滴, 达达, 代驾, and so much more. It is cheap, fast, easily accessible (容易获取) and makes life so much easier.

02. Chinese Healthy Lifestyle and Hospitality 中国人健康的生活方式和待客之道

Selah really misses the ability to walk everywhere. In the US, she mostly sits, either at her desk at work or in her car. Selah感觉中国人每天walk so much everywhere, this has to be so much healthier!

Maelle really misses going to the parks in the morning or at night in China and seeing the older people dancing and exercising. She always found it to be so wholesome (有益健康). This isn’t something she sees old people do in France. 在中国，梅莉经常会看到老人早上在公园里健身，晚上跳广场舞，真的很有意思，而且很健康！

Something Selah also misses is how welcoming Chinese people are towards foreigners. They always want to have a conversation with her. Maelle definitely misses the hospitality (热情好客) in China. 梅莉觉得中国人的待客之道非常好，她非常喜欢这一点。

When Selah lived in China, she would get many questions every time she left the house like, “你是哪里人？你怎么会说中文？你在这儿住了多久？你更喜欢美国还是中国？你喜欢吃饺子吗？”

Maelle would have very similar experiences. She always finds it so nice to be able to start a conversation and get to know people. They are very approachable (平易近人).

Selah said people in the US are kind and welcoming, but they can sometimes look intimidating or unapproachable (令人生畏或难以接近). It can be like that in France as well.

03. Interesting Traditions of Chinese Festivals 中国节日的有趣传统

China has many holidays, like 中秋节，端午节，春节 with many traditions. The US has holidays and traditions, but they have a shorter history. There are so many fun activities during the holidays, it is always so fun to participate.

Selah misses the red decorations (装饰品) around 春节 and the traditions like 红包 and 包饺子. 

Maelle totally agrees. And she thinks that how everyone gathers to set fireworks is so special!

Selah misses hearing fireworks for holidays. They are not allowed where she lives other than New Years and the 4thof July.

They are not allowed in France either. Maelle doesn’t see them often expect for special occasions (除了特殊场合). 在美国和法国，她们不是经常可以看到烟花，在中国尤其是过节的时候放烟花都是很热闹的时刻。

04. Changes and Constancy in Chinese Cities 中国城市的变与不变

Maelle really misses speaking Chinese everyday. Selah does not use it as much anymore.

Maelle also misses the dynamic pace of development (充满活力的发展步伐) in China. There is always something changing. Cities in China are always evolving, with new buildings, restaurants, and innovations popping up (突然出现). It is always exciting and you don’t know what might pop up next!

Lastly, the 24/7 availability (全天候服务). In France, everything is basically closed on Sundays, and shop hours are quite limited. Maelle really misses how in China, food delivery (外卖), shops, and restaurants are always open. It’s great for emergencies or spontaneous plans (紧急情况或临时计划)—there’s always something open (总有营业的地方)！

There are some places like that in the US, but it is mostly fast food and even then, they will usually close after midnight (在午夜后关门).

After the conversation today, they miss China even more! If you have any questions or comments feel free to comment below !

请在评论区告诉我们：你还想听梅莉和Selah聊什么话题呢？

 主播：Flora（中国）+ Erin（美国）

 歌曲：Double Trouble

我们今天来聊聊最近在全球重映的魔法题材系列电影——Harry Potter。

It has captured the hearts of millions worldwide (俘获了全世界数百万人的心). Even now, with the re-release (重映) of the films, fans—both old and new—are flocking to (涌向) cinemas to relive the magic (重温). 

前几天Flora订票的时候发现Harry Potter的放映厅位置爆满。You really had to scramble to get the best seats (抢最佳观影位置) for the movie!

It’s the same thing in the U.S. Erin knows a lot of people would seat in theaters for hours on end, watch like an entire marathon of the movies (很多人会在影院里一坐就是几个小时，就像看一整部马拉松式的电影一样). So Today, we’re breaking down the top reasons (首要原因) why Harry Potter remains so beloved.

01. The relatability of its characters 角色的亲和力

They’re real, flawed (有缺点的), and far from perfect. 让人觉得没有距离感。In fact, there are actually a lot of movies and TV shows that simplify (简化) the characters and their emotions.

We see them deal with everyday problems, especially as teens and young adults. They aren’t portrayed (被描绘) as overly mature (过度成熟)—they are as messy and unsure as we were at their age.

And it perfectly reflects the everyday challenges that we face as teenagers. From Harry’s insecurities (不安全感) to Hermione’s perfectionism (完美主义) and Ron’s feelings of inadequacy (不自信), these are issues we’ve all faced.

相信这些是大家经历过的事情，所以我们很容易resonate with them（与他们产生共鸣）。That authenticity (真实性) makes us connect with them on a personal level.

02. A magical world intertwined with reality 与现实交织的魔法世界

Another reason the series feels so magical is how the wizarding world (魔法世界) is intertwined (交织) with our own. It’s not some completely distant, far-off place. Instead, the magical world runs parallel to our reality (与现实平行).

This makes a lot of kids believe in Hogwarts (霍格沃茨) even more. 所以很多孩子到了11岁的时候会期待收到来自Hogwarts的录取通知。

It seems like magic could actually be hidden around the corner. You can almost imagine bumping into (撞见) a wizard in Diagon Alley (对角巷) or stumbling onto (偶然发现) Platform 9¾ (9¾站台) at King’s Cross (国王十字). That connection makes it feel closer and more real.

03. Distinctive school divisions 独特的学院划分

In fact, Hogwarts itself is another huge draw (巨大的吸引力). 他们没有按照教授的内容去划分学院，而是按照学生的traits and characteristics（特征和特性）。It is unlike traditional magical schools at all.

Gryffindors (格兰芬多) are known for their bravery, Ravenclaws (拉文克劳) for their intelligence, Hufflepuffs (赫奇帕奇) for their loyalty, and Slytherins (斯莱特林) for their ambition. It’s not just about learning magic—it’s about belonging to a group that reflects who you are.

找到一个属于你的群体会帮你建立a sense of belonging（一种归属感）。Wherever in Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff or Slytherin, you will all find a place where you belong.

Fans love imagining which house they’d be sorted into (被分到哪个学院). It’s more than (不仅仅是) just a school; it’s a home where your values and traits are recognized and celebrated (这是一个让你的价值观和特质得到认可和庆祝的家). Anywhere on the internet that mentions Harry Potter, you see people discussing what house they are.

Flora did a Personality Test-Which Hogwarts House Are You in (你在哪个霍格沃茨的学院里)?

Basically, you need to do some multiple choice questions (多选题) where you'll get points for each option, and at the end you'll need to add up the points. 一个分数区间会对应一个霍格沃茨学院。

大家如果对这个测试感兴趣也可以去搜一下：Which Hogwarts House Are You in? If you're interested in MBTI 16 personality, you must be very much the same with this one.

04. The stunning visuals 令人惊叹不已的视觉效果

Like Gloucester Cathedral (格洛斯特大教堂——位于英格兰南部的格洛斯特郡) and Alnwick Castle(阿尼克城堡——位于英格兰东北部的诺森伯兰郡), it makes them even more special.

These places are not just CGI (computer-generated imagery)—they have history, depth, and character. This makes them more relatable and appealing. 

05. Memorable quotes 令人难忘的名言

It’s like magic brought to life (魔法被赋予了生命). Harry Potter最powerful（强大）也是最伟大的地方就在于它教会我们的life lessons（人生教训），it’s about love, friendship, and loyalty（爱、友谊和忠诚）。These values that transcend gender, race, and age.

和我们大多数人一样，他们一开始只是nobodies（无名小卒）。Over the course of the series (在这个系列中), they grow, face incredible challenges, and mature in ways we can all admire. 也许这才是我们普通人崇拜的英雄。

It’s a story of resilience (坚韧) and growth. No matter who you are or where you start, you can become something greater through courage, friendship, and perseverance. They're all precious treasures in life.

Finally, the series is packed with memorable quotes(充满了令人难忘的名言) that stick with (继续跟着) you long after you’ve closed the book or left the theater.

Like Dumbledore (邓布利多)’s wisdom: “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live (人不要依赖梦想而忘记生活).”

Or “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light (即便在最黑暗的时候，也可以找到幸福，只要你记得开灯).”

“We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are (每个人内心都有光明与阴暗的一面，重要的是我们如何选择，那才是真正的我们).”

These lines aren’t just magical—they’re reminders of how we can approach life (对待生活). 它们讲述了the struggles we all face and the choices we make。

That’s why we love Harry Potter so much. It’s the characters we relate to, the magical world that feels so close, the life lessons that guide us, and the quotes that stay with us forever.

Whether you’re watching the re-release in theaters or picking up the books for the hundredth time, Harry Potter’s magic never fades (哈利·波特的魔法永不褪色). 他会一直提醒我们：friendship, bravery, and staying true to ourselves（友谊、勇气和忠于自己），这三样东西是何其宝贵。

06. Online reviews of the Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone movie

接下来是来自Rotten Tomatoes“烂番茄网站”的一些影评。

（1）《哈利·波特》系列电影是少有的违背 “原著总是更好 ”这一观点的系列电影。

（2）看到孩子们自己动手、智胜同龄人和成年人、战胜强敌，总是令人激动不已。

（3）......第一部电影还算不错（decent-enough），很好地建立了罗琳笔下令人印象深刻的细腻世界和人物形象。

If you love Harry Potter as much as we do, share your favorite reason with us. Thanks for joining us today. Until next time, keep the magic alive (让魔法永存)!

请在评论区告诉我们：你觉得《哈利·波特》系列电影怎么样？

 主播：Flora（中国）+ Erin（美国）

 歌曲：Out There

我们来聊一个在不同文化背景下都能引起人们共鸣的一个话题—anxiety（焦虑）。

Anxiety is something most of us experience regularly. Whether it's work, school, relationships, or the day-to-day stress of life, anxiety tends to creep in (悄悄蔓延). 真的是生活的方方面面都有可能滋生焦虑。

关于处理anxiety，大家有想过：不去fight it（和它做对抗），而是和它make peace（和平相处）吗？Today, we’ll talk about how to accept and manage anxiety in a healthier way (今天，我们将讨论如何以一种更健康的方式来接受和管理焦虑).

01. Sources and Manifestation of Anxiety 焦虑的来源和表现

Anxiety can come from all kinds of sources. Relationships, work, school, and just navigating (驾驭) life can all contribute. It’s not uncommon to feel like we’re constantly juggling too much at once (我们经常会觉得自己要同时处理太多事情).

But anxiety isn’t just about what's going on around us; it affects us in various ways. We might feel physical symptoms (身体上的症状)—like a racing heart (心跳加速) or tension (紧张)—or find ourselves stuck in cycles of worry (陷入了一个无限担忧的循环中).

And that brings us to the heart of today’s discussion: how can we effectively manage anxiety (如何有效地管理焦虑)?

We’ll explore techniques like cognitive restructuring (认知重组), journaling (写日记), and brainstorming solutions (头脑风暴解决方案) to help manage those overwhelming feelings.

02. The Right Mindset 正确的心态

It’s important to recognize that these sources are part of being human, not something we need to completely eliminate (需要完全消除). But, how we react to them makes a huge difference.

Flora can relate to that on a personal level. There was a time when she tried to tackle her anxiety head-on, thinking that if she just fought it hard enough, it would go away. But then she realized that the more she resisted her anxiety, the stronger it seemed to become. 

Eventually, she learned to acknowledge her feelings instead of battling them (承认自己的感受而不是压抑). She thinks this is a very important mindset for us to have when dealing with anxiety.

03. How to Manage Anxiety Effectively？如何有效管理焦虑？

(1) Cognitive Restructuring (认知重组)

To manage anxiety, one key approach is challenging our thoughts. 其实很多时候我们的认知或者想法和事实是有很大差距的。With a little bit of reasoning (稍做推理), you may find that the truth is actually far from what you thought.

进行认知重组的时候可以问自己一些问题：Is my worry logical（我的担心是符合逻辑的吗）? What’s the evidence behind it（这背后有证据吗）? 总之就是不要让你的emotion（情绪）占据自己的大脑。

You might find that a lot of what you’re anxious about is unlikely to happen, or that you’re exaggerating the problem in your mind (你夸大了心中的问题).

(2) Journaling (写日记)

Writing things down helps make the problem feel more concrete and manageable (更加具体和易于管理). When you put your thoughts on paper, it’s easier to break them down and find a solution.

当你有焦虑却不表达的时候，那它就成为了一种abstract feeling (抽象的感受)，会让你觉得it's difficult to manage，这样的话只会加深焦虑。那么这时候通过journaling把它具象化，就会打破你对这种未知抽象的恐惧。

(3) Brainstorming Solutions (头脑风暴解决方案)

When faced with a problem, listing out as many solutions as you can (尽可能多地列出解决方法) is a helpful way to ease anxiety (缓解焦虑). It reduces that feeling of uncertainty and helps you regain a sense of control (找回掌控感).

这个其实是可以刻意练习的。You might feel a bit lost at first, but once you open your mind (打开思路), you'll find that there are at least three solutions to your problem (一个问题至少有三种解决方法). It also calms your mind and helps it think of something else.

04. Classification of Anxiety (焦虑的分类)

(1) Acute Anxiety (急性焦虑)

Sometimes, we have acute anxiety, which comes on suddenly, like before a big presentation (一场大型演讲之前). 此外，在日常生活中大家轮流发言交流自己的想法的时候也有可能产生acute anxiety。So what can we do about this?

在这种情况出现时，deep breathing（深呼吸）or distracting yourself for a short period（短暂地分散一下注意力）都是比较有效的。

如果大家想要直接从源头上减少acute anxiety的话，Flora的建议是：Create more opportunities for yourself to deal with acute anxiety (多给自己创造一些能去应对急性焦虑的机会). 次数累积到一定程度之后，你可能就会惊喜地发现你没有之前那么紧张和焦虑了。

In fact, this method could take a lot of courage in the beginning. But when you actually take that step, you'll realize it's not that hard. It is like exposure therapy (暴露疗法). The more you do it, the less scary it is. 

(2) Chronic Anxiety (慢性焦虑)

Chronic anxiety is probably more likely to bother us, and we often have a hard time dealing with it. If it’s chronic anxiety, where the feelings build up over time (随着时间的推移而积累), it’s important to approach it differently.

First, adjust your mindset (调整心态). 千万不要试着去suppress or avoid the anxiety（压抑或者回避焦虑），这只会适得其反。

其实anxiety是大脑对我们的一种保护。When we feel anxious, it's our brain reminding us to react ahead of time to unknown dangers (提醒我们提前对未知的危险做出反应) so we can better protect ourselves.

Whether we are humans or other animals, when faced with a threat we either choose to run or fight. Either choice requires our bodies to function at maximum capacity (都需要我们的身体发挥最大功能) to protect us from harm.

自古以来都是这样的。产生焦虑并不是错误，而且是我们身体的一种protective mechanism（保护机制）。

After realizing this, you can consistently do things that boost your mood (持续地做一些能改善情绪的事情). It could be exercising, connecting with loved ones, or taking breaks during stressful moments.

By balancing out life’s negatives with positive actions, you’ll prevent anxiety from becoming overwhelming. 当你生活中积极的事比重变大之后，心情自然也会变好了。

At the end of the day, anxiety is part of life, but it doesn’t have to control us. The key is learning how to approach it with the right mindset (关键是学习如何以正确的心态来处理它), accept it for what it is, and find practical (实用的) ways to manage it.

So next time you feel anxious, remember: you don’t need to fight it. Instead, try to make peace with it (尝试和它和解), understand where it’s coming from, and use the tools we talked about today to take back control. And remember, it's perfectly okay to seek support (寻求帮助), whether from friends, family, or professionals. 

We hope today’s episode helps you feel more empowered to face anxiety head-on and find balance in your life.

欢迎在评论区告诉我们：你都有哪些管理焦虑的方法呢？

 主播：翩翩（中国）+Selah（美国）

 歌曲：Like I Loved You

最近外网有个话题被热议：

什么东西极大地改善了你的心理状态？（What massively improved your mental health?）

01 运动 Exercising

运动真是让人又爱又恨。It sucks at how well it works.

然而，心情低落的时候，运动是最不想做的事（when you are depressed, exercising is the last thing you feel like doing.）

但又是真有效果。所以说it sucks at how well it works.

坚持锻炼带来的精神状态改善是其他任何方法都比不上的。Nothing else has much of a positive effect on your mental health as regular exercise.

Many people think having pets helped their mental health. 因为life can be lonely, 宠物可以给到陪伴。It makes life a little easier. 让孤独的日子能好过一点。

“其实我有一个心理体验，就是在低谷期时，可以选择将一部分心力拿出来，去照料植物、动物，或者教学生、帮助别人，在这种过程中，会得到一部分自我救赎。”

This might be why having pets can improve mental health.

因为外面有大自然。Yes! Nature！

Nature can work wonders for your mental health. 就像梭罗在《瓦尔登湖》所体验的那样，大自然是内心的避难所。

When you realize that so much is alive and around us, it makes you stop and think how small we really are. 天地有大美而不言，身处其中，会时常有这种humbling moments。

前天在一席，翩翩还跟同事开玩笑，说人什么时候会意识到自己有脚？When do people become aware that they have feet?

答案是：脚疼的时候。(When your feet hurt！) 同理，人在痛苦的时候更能意识到“自我”的存在。当人处在大自然中，“自我”会瞬间变渺小，那么人与自我的巨大矛盾也就会平息很多。

就是要重新评估一下，什么引发了你的心理危机。

Is it a person in your life? Is it a living situation? 是接触的人？还是生活环境？

现在流行一个词叫做toxic，有毒的。

外媒上的网友建议，首先要远离那种不友好、不公正、人际关系复杂，得不到肯定的工作环境，这种就是有毒的工作环境（a toxic work environment）。

So leave a toxic work environment. 远离有毒的人（Remove toxic people）。

这位外国网友说：

It’s amazing how much your mental health can improve just by removing toxic people from my life. Toxic people bring nothing but negativity to your life.

睡觉，是被严重低估的精神改善大法！这位国外网友简直是嘴替，他说：我要是十几岁就知道这事儿就好了 （If only I’d realized this in my teens）。

睡眠太重要了。It has a great impact on your day, productivity and mood. 最终影响的是mental health。 长期睡眠不足一定会让人产生精神危机。所以好好睡足觉。

但话又说回来了，很多东西又绝对会影响睡眠，比如说 spending too much time on screens or social media （玩太久的电子产品和社交媒体）。

这位外国网友说：我停用社交媒体，改成读纸质书，今年1月份以来我已经读完6本书了，这让我感觉自己棒棒哒。（Putting a stop to my social media use and replacing that time with reading books. I have completed 6 books since the beginning of January. It makes me feel really good about myself.）

大家觉得，什么东西极大地改善了你的心理状态呢？

Selah是：周围环境干净整洁，东西各归各位（keeping everything in its place）。 

翩翩是：读书、写作、喝茶、以及教课。

你们呢？So what massively improved your mental health, our dear followers?

请大家留言分享：什么东西极大地改善了你的心理状态？说不定你的经验方法能够帮助到很多人。

 主播：Flora（中国）+Selah（美国）

 歌曲：fuzzy wuzzy

今天我们要谈的是：哪些话醍醐灌顶，永久改变了你对生活、对事物的看法？We both have some quotes (名言) that really impacted (影响) our lives and perspectives (观点).

01. “You might be the sweetest peach on the tree, but some people just don't like peaches.”

“你可能是树上最甜的桃子，但是有些人就是不喜欢桃子。” It is a very sweet quote that is also very deep. It reminds Flora of a story:

有一个人很喜欢吃橘子，但是他的父亲不喜欢。No matter how much he tried to tell his father about the benefits of oranges: rich in vitamin C (富含维生素C), or to buy the best variety of oranges (买最好品种的橘子), he just didn't like them. 最后他父亲说了一句话：“再好的橘子我也不喜欢吃，我根本就不喜欢橘子的味道。”

It doesn’t matter if it is the best orange. He wasn’t going to like it. 被每个人喜欢当然是大家都希望发生的。But it's impossible. You may be the sweetest peach or orange, but some people just don't like it, and it's not your fault.

It is impossible to make everyone happy all the time. Some people, you will just never win over to your side (你永远也无法把他们争取到你这边来)!

The quote actually helped Flora get over (克服) her desire to be liked by everyone. She realized she can’t please everyone, and that’s perfectly okay. Instead, she started focusing on becoming someone she herself actually likes. 不要成为别人眼中的你，要成为你眼中的自己。

02. “You cannot control the way someone else reacts.”

“别人的反应并不是你能控制的。” You can only control yourself and how you react to something, not other people.

Don't expect people to always react the way you want them to (不要期待别人总是按照你所希望的那样做出反应). If someone reacts poorly, that is out of your control (那是你无法控制的). But you can reflect and see if you can communicate better next time.

Maybe the only thing we can control in this world is ourselves. 虽然我们不能控制别人的reaction（反应），但是我们可以反思一下下次有没有更好的交流方式。That's what we can and really should do, rather than blaming ourselves.

This is good in any situation and is helpful in friendships, relationships, with your family or in the workplace.

03. “Courage doesn't always roar.”

“勇气并不总是轰轰烈烈的。” Sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "l will try again tomorrow." Getting back up is the most courageous thing you can do (重新站起来是你能做的最勇敢的事情).

很多时候我们会觉得像电影中的主人公与死神交手的瞬间才算是有“courage（勇气）”，但殊不知生活中大多数的courage都是无声且沉默的，也许那只是一天结束后的暗下决心：“明天再试一次。” 其实内心经历了波涛汹涌之后，你早已成为了生活的勇士。

04. People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

“人们会忘记你说过的话，人们会忘记你做过的事，但人们永远不会忘记你给他们带来的感受。”

We think that what matters is what we do for people the success we achieve (我们取得的成功) and the status we have (拥有的地位). But often it is more about how we relate to and treat other people (我们如何与他人相处和对待他人).

Flora thought the only way she can get people to remember her and want to be friends with her is to make some contribution or achievement (做出一些贡献或成就). But at the end of the day she figured out what really attracts them is our character, the way we treat people (待人的方式).

This is especially true when working with kids. Often kids do not remember their teachers or activities they did, but they do remember how they felt at school.

因为Flora和Selah平时工作都会和一些孩子相处，所以她们有相似的感受。So if you're a teacher or a parent or anyone who has to spend time with kids on a regular basis (需要经常与孩子们相处的人), the way you treat them really matters to them.

05. “You can't blame a blind person for being blind… you just don’t let them drive your car.”

“不要责怪有视力障碍的人看不见，不让他们开你的车就行了。”

It points out that we need to be wise on how to protect ourselves and not just trust anyone to do anything for us. 有时候一些人造成一些事情并不是他们的本意，也许他们就是没有办法理解这些，但是这并不妨碍你采取措施保护自己。

You can be kind to everyone, that is your choice. But at the same time, protect yourself.

06. “When we hit our lowest points is when we are open to the greatest change.”

“当我们达到最低点时，我们就会愿意接受最大的变化。”

Flora would have a strange curiosity when she is at that point in her life: let's see if it can get any worse (这个情况还会更糟吗)? 可能因为那个时候已经没有那么多包袱了。有时候拥有的越多越怕失去。但是当你本身就赤手空拳的时候反而更愿意接受一些改变，承担一些风险。

When Selah looks back on her life, she has grown the most (成长得最多) or made the most positive changes when life was hard (生活艰难的时候). 这个低谷会让你pause（暂停）并reevaluate（重新评估）一下现在的生活。So, take this opportunity to make some positive changes!

There we have it—six powerful quotes. Each of these quotes invites us to reflect on how we see ourselves (思考我们如何看待自己) and how we connect with others (如何与他人沟通).

We’d love to hear from you. 哪些话醍醐灌顶，改变了你对生活的看法？哪些话最能引起你的共鸣呢？Share the quotes and your thoughts in the comments below! Remember, your insights might just inspire someone else (你的见解可能会激励别人), so don't hesitate to share!

我们期待在评论区看到你的分享！

 主播：Wendi（中国）+Selah（美国）

 歌曲：Que Sera Sera

今天，我们要讲一个让人振奋精神的话题——resilience（复原力）。

01. 什么是复原力？

Resilience is the process of adapting well (很好地适应) in the face of adversity(困境), trauma(创伤), tragedy(痛苦), threats or significant sources of stress.

The key is that people adapt and change as needed to face these things.

Resilience不仅强调忍耐，更重要的是adapt and change（能够根据情况及时调整和适应），是一种随遇而安的能力。

事情本身不会变得简单，但是我们可以通过不同的responding（应对方式）调整我们的心态。

Highly resilient people are flexible(灵活的), adapt to new circumstances quickly(能迅速适应新环境), and thrive in constant change(在不断的变化中蓬勃发展). Resilience is important because it allows us to grow and learn from hardship(困难), as well as get through it well.

It allows us to live our lives more calmly and peacefully. Like the saying goes, the only constant in the world is change (世界上唯一不变的东西是变化). Since we cannot avoid it, it’s better if we can adapt to it (接受它).

如果复原力比较低的话，当周围事物和人haven’t met your expectations（没有达到你的期望）时，you will easily be annoyed。You will have a worse reaction to change, not be able to handle hardship (应对困难), and be impacted (冲击) by things for a long time.

02. 提升“复原力”的方法

#1 Practice meditation. 练习冥想

冥想时，找一个你觉得舒服的地方，可以是你的房间，也可以是室外的某个地方，只要你能感受到平静、安全和自在就可以。When you are in a state of tranquility（宁静的状态）, your whole mind will be clear and strong. 在冥想中，你会进入心流的状态。It calms your body and soul enough to see through problems and reflect. 冥想能让你看清楚、想明白很多事情，也是一个自省的机会。

It helps you to reset the brain (重启大脑) and find new perspectives (新的视角) towards challenges instead of sweating the small stuff (纠结小事).

#2 Get out in nature. 走进自然

Immersing yourself in nature helps reset your body and clear your mind, just like meditation does. 大自然里的能量是非常高的，所以有的人也会在大自然中做冥想。It provides a good perspective (它提供了一个很好的视角).

#3 Surround yourself with positive and high spirits. 多接触高能量的人或者事物

People often say that you are what you eat, you are who you spend time with, and you are what you surround yourself with. 近朱者赤近墨者黑，多接触高能量的人也能让自己变得更积极。

#4 Move your body. 运动

运动也是一种提高resilience的方法，但更重要的是要做你喜欢的运动。运动过后，your mind will be very quiet and peaceful.

#5 Take time to learn more things. 保持学习

不断地学习，汲取新知识也可以有效提高复原力。Resilience comes from expanding knowledge and skills, either by watching videos, listening to podcasts or reading books. The key is to make a daily habit of continually learning (关键是养成日常不断学习的习惯). 学习新知识不仅能让头脑更清醒，而且会让你有不同的视角去看待事情。

#6 Work from a to-do list. 列日程计划

Resilience comes from seeing positive outcomes(积极结果) from your work. At an early stage, what’s critical to driving success is doing the right work. By creating a priority list (优先级列表) and ruthlessly working from there, you’ll be able to gain momentum(动力) — and build trust in yourself and your process — to overcome obstacles (克服障碍).

#7 Work on becoming immune to rejection. 努力做到对拒绝免疫

To become immune to rejection（对拒绝免疫）就是要能够坦然接受别人的拒绝。

在你听到一声yes之前，you’re going to hear a lot of “no”s。Letting all that rejection slide off your back will help you keep moving forward when times get tough.

总之，你要practice cognitive restructuring（练习认知重构）。It can change the way you think about potentially negative situations (潜在的负面情况) by helping you better understand your feelings of fear or discomfort. The ability to reframe your failures (重新定义失败) as important lessons is what makes a truly resilient leader. 改变面对消极情况的情绪，换一个看待视角，任何事情都会有积极的一面。

Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving (生活本身不会变得更容易或更宽容), but we get stronger and more resilient (而我们可以变得更强大，更有复原力). It just requires us being proactive (积极主动的) on how we want to do this.

困境本身不会变得容易，但我们可以发挥自己的主观能动性，努力提升自己的复原力，提高能量，或者转换视角去更加积极地面对。

主播：Maelle（法国）+Selah（美国）

歌曲：Colorful

今天的节目是一个special edition（特别版），由Maelle和Selah两位外国主播来聊一下她们在中国成长的经历。

其实她们经常会聊这样的话题，因为她俩都有相似的经历，特别是她们都上过中国学校！So it is indeed really fun to talk about it. Many foreigners in China have had this experience.

（图中间的小女孩为Selah）

They both attended a Chinese school. Maelle started from kindergarten all the way to 5th grade (从幼儿园一直到五年级). Selah attended Chinese kindergarten and then attended primary school (小学) for 1st, 2nd and 3rd grade (从幼儿园一直到三年级).

（梅莉和她的双胞胎妹妹）

01. Unique experiences

Selah said “the first time I felt different is when I realized that I was the only one in the whole school that looked like me (全校没有一个人长得像我一样), and kids used to call me a 芭比娃娃.” (Because Selah has blond hair.)

（小时候的Selah）

“The Chinese teacher would also ask me to help her teach English class for her and even asked me to grade the tests when I was only in 2nd grade (甚至让我在二年级的时候就给考试打分)! I also had a TV station come to school once and interview me (接受电视采访).”

Maelle totally got that: “For me, I think I never really saw myself as different from the other kids, other than physically obviously (除了身体上的明显差别).”

“But I realized when it came to things that holidays and all. Christmas was a big deal for my family. If it happened to be in the middle of the week we would often skip school to celebrate as a family (如果它碰巧是在周中，我们经常会不去学校，然后全家庆祝圣诞节).” “当时我们中国学校的同学都不怎么会特别庆祝这个节日，但是过年的时候当然就不一样了！”

02. Interesting stories on campus 校园趣事

(1) Distinctive appearance 与众不同的外貌

Selah问梅莉：“你还记得第一次上学的时候发生了什么吗？”

Maelle: “The first time I was in Chinese school I do not remember because I was very young, but I remember some of my classmates would touch my hair because it was different, or even ask me to give them a strand of hair because they thought it was gold (有一些同学甚至会问我要一根头发，因为他们以为是金子) haha!”

（梅莉和她的双胞胎妹妹）

Selah: “Me too! They actually did that exact same thing to me, and they would use my hair as bookmarks (书签)… but they would lose it so I would always have to get new ones for them (给他们一根新的), haha! Especially for other little girls, they would touch my eyelashes (眼睫毛) too, and say that it looked like a horse!”

（小时候的Selah）

Maelle agreed: “Since I have a high nose, everyone loved to touch my nose!”

Selah: “I also have a lot of freckles (雀斑) on my face, and they would ask to touch it or whether I was sick with a disease (问是不是我生病了).”

（童年时的Selah）

(2) Cultural differences文化差异

Maelle thinks one of the most memorable parts of school in China was some cultural differences she encountered (她遇到的文化差异).

“我们小时候掉牙的时候会把掉的牙齿放在枕头下面，然后会得到钱，当然那是爸爸妈妈给我们的，但是我们不知道。我们以为是tooth fairy（牙仙子：传说中如果儿童把脱落的牙齿放在枕下，牙仙子会在他们睡着时把牙齿取走，留下硬币）。”

“So we would tell our Chinese classmates to do the same!” “但是因为在中国没有这个传统，所以很多家长没有这个做法。她们有朋友会尝试但不会告诉他们的爸爸妈妈，所以他们不会得到钱，就会觉得很奇怪。”

“They would come back to school and tell us about it and we would think it was very weird as well (我们也会觉得很奇怪). But now it’s just really funny to think about it because there clearly was a cultural difference there haha!”

Selah: “This is the same for Christmas, as we did Santa and Christmas gifts (我们做了圣诞老人和圣诞礼物), but other Chinese kids did not celebrate this. I had to learn that just because something was normal for me, does not mean it was for them (对我来说习以为常的事，并不意味着对他们也是)!”

Maelle: “Exactly, I had the same thing happen to me and it was really confusing as a child (作为一个孩子会很困惑).

(3) “We're all the same (其实我们都一样).”

Selah: “ But because I attended Chinese school for many years, I thought this was normal and did not really think about the fact that I was different (并没有真正觉得我与众不同). I was just another kid (我只是另一个孩子)!”

Maelle thinks that it is such a special and super cool experience.

Selah: “I learned everything with the other Chinese children though, like 古诗 and regular (常规的) 语文课 so my teachers loved hearing me 背古诗 because it was so different for them.”

（童年时的Selah）

这些对于梅莉来说是a core memory（一段核心记忆）！She remembers learning pinyin, and the Chinese characters with all of her Chinese friends at school. “很小的时候我们就和我们的中国同学一起学拼音，怎么写字，不同的偏旁等等。这真的很有趣。当时我特别地喜欢语文课，小时候我没有怎么去想我是外国人，像Selah说的一样我们都是小孩。”

Selah: “In fact, the teachers always used to laugh, because I would eat more food than all the other kids at lunch (我午餐要比其他孩子吃得多). 我小时候非常喜欢吃鸡爪 and would eat it off my friends' plates (还会吃我朋友们盘子里的). My teachers thought it was so funny! That is hilarious (太搞笑了)!”

（正在啃鸡爪的Selah）

Selah: “I have so many fun stories. All of my younger brothers and sisters also attended Chinese school. I remember that they used to threaten the other kids that (他们还这样吓唬其他孩子) ‘你如果不听老师的话老师就把你送到老外家!’ I don’t even know why it’s a threat (我都不知道为什么这也能吓唬他们). Haha it's so funny!”

This makes me think about the analogy of the egg (鸡蛋的类比)。 我们都是鸡蛋，里面是黄色的，外面是白色的 (Yellow on the inside and white on the outside)。

主播：Wendi（中国）+Selah（美国）

歌曲：Birds of A Feather

今天的节目我们来聊一聊time management（时间管理），尤其是“四象限法则”。This is such an important skill today when we often have to multitask.

·multitask v. 多任务工作

01. Four Quadrants Work Method 四象限工作法

The Four Quadrant Method, also known as the Eisenhower Matrix (艾森豪威尔矩阵) or the Time Management Matrix (时间管理矩阵), is a popular tool for prioritizing tasks based on their urgency and importance (紧急性和重要性).

So, it is a tool for time management. 它的基本原则就是根据任务的轻重缓急来决定处理的先后顺序。It was popularized by Stephen Rechards Covey (史蒂芬·柯维) in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (《高效人士的七个习惯》). 这个四象限工作法则就是在这本书里被带火了。

It was created by Dwight David Eisenhower (德怀特·戴维·艾森豪威尔). 根据urgency and importance这两个维度，任务被分成了四种类型。Its key benefits are that it clarifies priorities (明确优先级), helps with decision-making (决策制定), and improves focus on important tasks.

02. The four categories

(1) Quadrant I: Urgent and Important 象限1——紧急且重要

These tasks require immediate attention and are critical to achieving your goals. They often include crises (危机), pressing deadlines (紧迫的最后期限), and emergency issues (紧急问题).

(2) Quadrant II: Not Urgent but Important 象限2——不紧急但重要

象限2的这些任务一般对我们的long-term success（长期发展）很重要，比如personal growth（个人成长），building relationships（建立人际关系），and long-term planning（长期规划）。

Examples: strategic planning (战略规划), relationship-building, self-care, exercise, learning, and professional development (专业发展).

(3) Quadrant III: Urgent but Not Important 象限3——紧急但不重要

These tasks demand immediate attention but do not contribute significantly to (对......有重大贡献) your long-term goals. They are often interruptions or distractions (干扰或者导致我们分心的事情).

Examples: some emails, phone calls, meetings, and minor issues (不重要的问题) that feel pressing but aren't crucial.

(4) Quadrant IV: Not Urgent and Not Important 象限4——不紧急且不重要

These tasks often leading to time-wasting activities. They can be a source of procrastination (拖延症的根源).

Examples: mindless web browsing (漫无目的地刷手机), excessive social media use (过度使用社交媒体), watching TV, or engaging in trivial activities (从事琐碎的活动).

03. How do we use it?

(1) Categorize Tasks (任务分类): List all your tasks and place them into one of the four quadrants based on their urgency and importance (把你目前的任务按照紧急性和重要性这两个维度放到这四个象限中).

(2) Prioritize Quadrant II (重点关注象限2): Focus on activities in Quadrant II to achieve long-term success (获取长期成功) and reduce the time spent in Quadrant I. 也就是说在完成这些紧急且重要的事的时候要提高效率，不要占用太多时间。

(3) Minimize Quadrant III (缩减象限3): Try to delegate or limit the time spent on tasks in Quadrant III.

(4) Avoid Quadrant IV (取消象限4): Eliminate or minimize (取消或缩减) activities in Quadrant IV to use your time more effectively.

Overall, this method of prioritizing your tasks based on the four quadrants sounds really workable (可行的). 但实际上第一步可能相当困难，因为你必须要figure out which task is truly important to you (弄清楚哪项任务对你来说是真正重要的).

That is why it takes time to evaluate (评估) what is important and why things might need to be done in a certain order (为什么事情可能需要按照一定的顺序来做). Does it affect other people? What will happen if it isn’t done immediately? 所以在用这个方法之前最重要的是要先分清楚任务的重要性。

04. Are there any other methods?

(1) Using a shared calendar (共享日历): this is especially helpful when coordinating with a spouse or family members to balance multiple schedules (当与配偶或家庭成员协调平衡多个日程安排时).

Selah uses this with her Fiancé (未婚夫). 她在iPhone上有一个共享的日历（我们也可以用谷歌日历）。When one of them has an event, they put it in. It saves so much effort and miscommunications (省去很多精力和误解). 在手机上和家人或者朋友建一个共享日历，既方便又能起到一个互相督促的作用。

(2) Timeboxing (时间盒): It involves setting a fixed amount of time (设置一个固定的时间) for a specific task or activity. The difference is that you stop working when the time is up, regardless of whether the task is completed (当时间结束时，无论任务是否完成，你都将停止工作).

这样就不会导致上一个事情的进程耽误之后的事情。But, to be honest, as somewhat of a perfectionist (完美主义者), this can be a bit annoying (有点恼人), not being able to get something 100% done.

But you have to zoom out (从大局看) and realize that this can be essential within the grand scheme of things (这在宏大的计划中是必不可少的).

Wendi doesn’t really have a method for time management. What she did was to simply list out all the deadlines on her calendar (在日历上简单列出所有事情的截止日期), and then break down these tasks into smaller ones (把这些任务分成更小的任务) and put them on her to-do-list (待办事项清单) every day.

05. Benefits of good time management 良好的时间管理的好处

Once you are good at time management, it not only reduces stress, but helps you spend time on the most important things, and not waste time and energy on things that do not matter! It makes life more fulfilling and efficient (使生活更充实和高效). It also makes sure you don’t forget important things.

For Wendi, managing tasks can really help her to relieve anxiety (减轻压力), because most of time our anxiety comes from not having control over the uncertainties in the future (因为大多数时候，我们的焦虑来自于无法控制未来的不确定性). So being more organized (更有条理) allows her to deal with these tasks one step at a time (一步一步处理这些工作) and know when or how she will finish them.