Becoming: HER with Nikki Spoelstra

110. Pushing Boundaries with Candice Horbacz


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You all know that Nikki pushes boundaries when it comes to conversations on The Know. In this episode with Candice Horbacz, pushing boundaries is exactly what they do. Nikki and Candice talk about creating an anti-fragile marriage, differences in sexuality, the impact of porn on relationships, motherhood, the divine feminine, entrepreneurship, and so much more. 


Candice is the type of woman who can not be pigeonholed, especially in her career. She is a former adult entertainer, a Web3 entrepreneur, an organizer of spiritual retreats centered around psychedelics and wellness, a mother of two boys, a wife, and the podcast host of Chatting with Candice. Candice aims to inspire others, spark curiosity, and think independently. She does this as we dive into different perspectives on relationships, creating healthy and exciting sex lives, love languages, marriage, consensual non-monogamy, and sexuality. Let’s go!



In this episode…

  • Struggling with sexuality 
  • Growing up around strict religion
  • Shame around being a sexually empowered woman
  • Creating an authentic and fulfilling relationship
  • Candice’s relationship with her husband
  • Roles and responsibilities of marriage 
  • Having a healthy and exciting sex life 
  • Love languages 
  • The impact of porn on a relationship 
  • Monitoring your kids’ social interactions 
  • Creating a safe space for kids
  • Consensual non-monogamy  
  • Web3 communities 



Timestamps

0:00- 2:00 | Introduction 

2:00- 6:20 | How Candice grew up 

6:20- 12:30 | Shame around being a sexually empowered woman

12:30- 17:30 | Candice’s relationship with her husband 

17:30- 23:10 | Creating an anti-fragile relationship

23:10- 29:30 | Having a healthy and exciting sex life 

29:30- 33:50 | The impact of porn on a relationship 

33:50- 38:40 | Protecting our kids  

38:40- 43:20 | Consensual non-monogamy 

43:20- 48:50 | About Web3 



Quotes:


“From a very young age, I was met with shame and the ideas of original sin.”


“I strongly believe that we come into this world as pure, love, goodness, and divinity.”


“I met my husband as soon as I started webcamming. He was with me for my whole career in adult entertainment. I know that will blow some people’s minds.” 


“This idea that once you become a mom, you should be severed from pleasure and sexuality. I think this is the most crippling thing we can do to women. It is a loss of identity.” 


“Relationships, in my opinion, do not have one set of rules. Every relationship in itself makes its own rules.” - Nikki Spo


“We give ourselves so many conditions to be loved, so how are we supposed to express unconditional love to someone else?” 


“Parents need to create a safe space, so their kids feel like they can come to them no matter what they do.” 


“When you go into these uncomfortable spaces, like being in a non-monogamous relationship, you must have a deep knowledge of who you are, who your partner is, and what you both want for the future.”  



Connect with Candice 

@Candicehorbacz

https://www.chattingwithcandice.com/about/ 


Connect with Nikki 

www.nikkispo.com 

@nikkisappspo / @theknowwithnikkispo


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