Turns out, the male fertility experience is more than just "going into a room"—though let's be real, those rooms are dire. Journalist Simon Collins breaks down what blokes actually need to know about IVF: how to support your partner, why educating yourself matters more than your sample quality, and why making fertility your entire personality helps absolutely no one. From earning the nickname "The Bull" (yes, really) to navigating donation rooms stocked with vintage gay porn and Soviet-era contraband, Simon proves that laughter is survival. Featuring: wanking disaster stories, the art of not being useless during treatment, and how one legendary sample created "twiblings" three years apart. Your partner's doing the hard yards, here's how not to cock it up.