The need for validation is normal. But, like most things in life, it’s really all about balance. Listen, some degree of attention and validation seeking makes perfect sense to me. From an evolutionary standpoint, it makes sense that we’d seek out external validation because it helps us to feel more secure in social settings and I dunno if you know this, but humans are inherently social creatures and rejection is deeply uncomfortable while positive reinforcement feels pretty ding-dang incredible.

The problem is, constantly hunting for approval is not a sustainable way to live. When validation comes from external sources, self-esteem becomes contingent on others’ opinions, making it vulnerable to fluctuations based on approval or criticism. 

RESOURCES:

https://hbr.org/2023/12/overcoming-your-need-for-constant-validation-at-work

https://psychcentral.com/health/steps-to-stop-seeking-approval-from-others

https://www.reddit.com/r/DecidingToBeBetter/comments/14kmiwv/how_do_i_stop_seeking_validation_from_everyone/ 

https://www.impossiblepsychservices.com.sg/our-resources/articles/2024/01/19/common-signs-of-validation-seeking-behaviour-in-relationships 

https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-drives-our-need-for-approval 

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