Happily Even After with Life Coach Jen

176: Healing Intimacy After Betrayal


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The journey through betrayal trauma requires navigating countless emotional landmines, but perhaps none more complex than rebuilding physical intimacy. What happens when your mind says yes but your body screams no? When desire conflicts with fear? When connection feels simultaneously necessary and dangerous?

Drawing from personal experience and professional expertise as a trauma-informed coach, I explore ten critical aspects of post-betrayal intimacy that most relationship advice overlooks. We dive deep into why some betrayed partners seek more physical connection while others freeze at the thought of touch, examining how our nervous systems register betrayal as a threat to survival. This biological understanding helps explain why reconnection requires more than just willpower or good intentions.

The conversation challenges common misconceptions about affairs, particularly the harmful notion that insufficient sex causes infidelity. Most affairs stem from emotional needs, entitlement, or escapism rather than physical dissatisfaction – understanding this reality helps both partners approach healing more effectively. We examine how blame-shifting around intimacy ("I wouldn't have cheated if we had more sex") manipulatively distorts issues of consent and safety, preventing genuine repair.

Rather than rushing toward sexual reconnection, I offer practical strategies for rebuilding intimacy gradually through sustained eye contact, meaningful conversation, and non-sexual touch. These seemingly small steps help recondition your nervous system to associate your partner with safety rather than threat. Most importantly, you'll learn why saying "not yet" can be an act of self-protection and relationship preservation, not rejection or punishment. Your healing journey deserves patience, understanding, and a pathway to intimacy built on genuine safety rather than obligation.

Ready to transform your relationship with yourself and others after betrayal? Follow me on social media @happilyevenaftercoach or sign up for my email list to continue this healing conversation together.

Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 45 min. clarity call via zoom.

Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions.

Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends.

My website is www.lifecoachjen.com



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Happily Even After with Life Coach JenBy Jennifer Townsend

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