Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating

Tracy, as Chump Lady, has made quite a study of overcoming oppressive jerks. In this recorded pep talk, she expands on a recent blog post she wrote on how to eat the shit sandwich of injustice and keep on going. 

A woman writes to say she swapped her cheating husband for a Roomba. Her new appliance vacuums, never gaslights her, and comes back to its home port every night. We asked: What did you replace your cheater with? We've got upgrades of every kind. And cats. A lot of cats. 

Listeners discuss how they discovered their partners were cheating. From putting spy apps on a phone, to the idiot who forgot the Ring camera was recording, to the cheater who inadvertently alerted the private investigator to what car his Schmoopie drives. Sarah and Tracy react to the cheater hijinks and how cheaters underestimate their chumps.

Tracy talks with writer and actress Nell Hudson about her eight-year relationship with a man who had a double life -- which she discovered on their anniversary. What he excused as another woman's infatuation with him, turned out to be an entire history of serial cheating with multiple partners. Tracy and Nell discuss the cultural narratives around infidelity, why we don't call it abuse, and what it means to be a feminist and a chump. 

In this episode, Sarah and Tracy react to a letter from a woman who lives in the same small town as her ex and the affair partner -- her former friend. Worse, she has to interact with this person at her job. What's the answer? Move away or learn how to coexist? We also hear from two listeners, one with a red flag story on lying, and a mighty single dad who's crushing the sane parenting gig.

The furtive bathroom visits with the cell phone, strange moods, and bizzare accusations that you're cheating -- in this episode we look at all the red flags that you're with a cheater. Hindsight is 20/20, but when you look back, what were the signs? 

In this episode, we discuss the intersection of pregnancy and infidelity. The mistresses who got pregnant. The chumps who got cheated on while pregnant, or going through fertility treatments. The guy chumps who had to paternity test their kids. The "OMG I think I'm pregnant" Hail Mary play by mistresses to win the pick me dance. How children of affairs navigate the complicated stories of their parents. DNA surprises, half-siblings. We get into all the messiness of FWs who reproduce. 

When you lost a cheater, who else did you lose in the breakup? People often think infidelity is just a private matter between a couple, and not a larger conspiracy, as it often turns out to be. In the end, you may lose “friends” who were affair partners, those who knew and didn’t tell you, and the Switzerland folks who don’t want to take sides. Listeners share their stories of who they lost, who they culled, and who they don't miss. 

A woman writes in to Tracy and Sarah after suspecting that her best friend has been cheating with her now ex-husband. This friend has been cagey, unsupportive, and just admitted that she's been a cheater before. The letter writer wants to confront her friend about her behavior, but should she? Would it be better to ghost her instead? Or let it blow over? 

With the recent buzz about Chump Nation in the New Yorker and the Cut, Tracy takes on the haters. Consider it a teaching opportunity. Here's three common infidelity tropes and how to defang them: Bothsiderism (What did you do to make them cheat?); Infidelity is complex (You're a black and white thinker); and Quit Playing the Victim (You're too bitter and emotional).