That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

#187 What if we focused less on self-care and more on self-nurture to progress our hoarding recovery?

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    • Self-care gets a lot of airtime these days, but I’ve started rethinking what it actually means, especially when you’re struggling with hoarding disorder. In this episode, I talk about why marketed, consumer-driven “self-care” just adds more pressure, and why nurturing yourself with compassion, connection, and practical routines is far more effective. Plus, I share some genuinely helpful, low-cost ways to support yourself without adding to the clutter - or your to-do list.

    • Self-Care in Modern Times
    • Evolution of the meaning of “self-care”:
    • The older, practical definition (basic hygiene, nourishment)
    • Current consumer-driven, extravagant interpretations
    • Critique of modern self-care commercialisation
    • Challenges of Hoarding and Mental Health Struggles
    • Emotional toll of hoarding disorder
    • Stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, grief
    • The exhausting process of trying to “fix” things
    • Daily stressors of living in a hoard
    • Feelings of failure, constant reminders, adrenaline spikes from unexpected visitors, tripping over items
    • The Real Purpose of Self-Care
    • Balancing negative emotions (stress, grief, trauma) with activities that nurture the soul
    • Evaluating popular self-care advice
    • The problem with universal, commercialised recommendations
    • Importance of individualised, inward-looking approaches
    • Introducing the Concept of "Self-Nurture"
    • How self-nurture differs from self-care
    • Greater compassion, sustainability, and personalisation
    • Emphasis on looking inwards for individual needs
    • Practical examples of self-nurturing activities
    • The Pitfalls of Commercialised Self-Care
    • The “shoulds” culture and guilt surrounding unmet self-care standards
    • Surface-level versus meaningful acts of care
    • How marketed solutions often do not address real needs
    • Guilt and shame when unable to practice recommended self-care (especially for those who hoard)
    • Consumer Culture and Self-Care
    • Self-care as a commodified experience: Encouragement to buy unnecessary products
    • How this affects people who hoard
    • Risk of exacerbating clutter by acquiring more as “self-care”
    • Focus on external fixes rather than internal wellbeing
    • The Benefits of Self-Nurture
    • Self-nurture as inexpensive or free
    • Focus on activities rather than acquisitions
    • Finding joy or restoration in simple practices (e.g., using what you have, accessing the library, running without specialised gear)
    • Compassionate Self-Nurture in Practice
    • Asking internal questions about core needs (physical, emotional, psychological)
    • Treating oneself as one would treat a person they love
    • Emphasis on gentle, non-critical, incremental progress
    • Drinking water for wellbeing rather than obligation
    • Time in nature, connecting with friends, creativity, self-acceptance
    • Building Emotional Security and Gentleness
    • Establishing emotional security as a core need
    • Managing self-criticism and reaching out for connection despite anxiety
    • Celebration of small wins and progress
    • Validating and acknowledging difficult feelings with compassion
    • Evaluating and Choosing Nurturing Activities
    • Key questions to ask: “Will this nurture me emotionally, psychologically, or physically?”
    • Differentiating between genuine needs and justifying unnecessary purchases
    • Avoidance of reinforcing negative patterns through acquisition
    • Developing a Personal Toolbox for Self-Nurture
    • Gathering and customising strategies that work
    • Routines and coping mechanisms
    • Taking stock of helpful techniques, personalising approaches
    • Recognising and valuing unique sources of restoration
    • Top Tip
    • DIY, low-cost tip for cleaning the dishwasher with household items
    • Encouragement to take any step, however small, towards self-nurture

      • Links

      • The "feeling your feelings" episode
      • Episodes talking about the inner critic: with Steve Chapman; about the song that changed everything for me; and about making mistakes
      • Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form
      • Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding
      • Become a Dehoarding Darling
      • Submit a topic for the podcast to cover
      • Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions
      • Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast
      • Twitter: @ThatHoarder
      • Mastodon: @[email protected]
      • TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast
      • Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder
      • Pinterest: That Hoarder
      • YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder
      • Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit
      • Help out: Support this project
      • Sponsor the podcast
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