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Meghan Murray and her husband decided to have one more baby. She'd already experienced beautiful vaginal births with her first two boys and, like so many women, she mentally went through all the things she could do this time around to get things just right. In preparing for her dream birth, Meghan hired new midwives who practiced outside of a hospital setting and seemed perfectly aligned with her wishes. She remained fit, practiced Spinning Babies and learned relaxation techniques for a comfortable physiologic birth. She savored her pregnancy knowing it was her last, and excitedly planned her first water birth.

At 36 weeks, Meghan suddenly heard a pop and assumed her membranes had released. But instead of amniotic fluid, she saw blood -- and lots of it. As she and her husband left immediately for the hospital, Meghan knew a placental abruption had occurred.

Meghan is more than a year out from her birth, and talks to us about her journey of processing what happened. In particular, what it was like having a very traumatic birth her last time around, when her hopes and expectations were at their highest.

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