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When Emma's first baby was one year old, she opened her phone to review her baby's photos and realized she had spent that year completely avoiding looking back at any images from the first three months of her baby's life. It was clear in that moment, she had experienced significant postpartum depression and delayed bonding with her baby, and the photos were a stark reminder of a truth she hadn't been ready to face. Six months later she ruptured her spleen, resulting in a post-traumatic stress response for which she sought out EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) Therapy. As she worked through her trauma, much of her first birth experience and PPD memories resurfaced.  Later, when she found out she was pregnant again and considered where to birth her next baby, she ran the gamut from a fully medicalized birth to free-birth (unassisted home birth) and landed on a hospital birth with a "unicorn OB." She chose to birth in a hospital because it "scared" her, and was a fear she felt she needed to overcome. Emma was GBS positive and established a "No IV, no antibiotics" birth policy and confidently declined. Her water broke just minutes before she welcomed her eleven pound baby safely into her arms. That's right: Eleven pounds.

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