July 11, 2025

#194 Transformation and comfort do not live in the same house: rethinking comfort zones, familiarity, and change

26 minutes

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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

Transformation and comfort rarely go hand in hand, especially when it comes to overcoming compulsive hoarding.

In this episode, I talk honestly about why making real change means facing discomfort, based on a quote from Healing Justice London that “transformation and comfort do not live in the same house”.

I challenge us to identify the difference between familiarity and comfort, and share practical ways to push through those tough moments - because growth comes from getting a bit uncomfortable.

If you’re tired of mistaking chaos for comfort, this one’s for you.

“Transformation and comfort do not live in the same house” (Healing Justice London)

The universal truth behind the idea

The necessity of discomfort for real transformation

Discomfort Versus Comfort in the Hoarding Context

Familiarity as a source of “comfort” for those who hoard

Risks of equating familiarity with true comfort

The need for change and its inherent discomfort

Examples of positive outcomes after embracing discomfort

The Reality of Discomfort in Dehoarding

Emotional and physical challenges of dehoarding

Potential for overwhelming feelings and anxiety

Catastrophising and perfectionism surrounding decision-making

Emotional toll of letting go and possible identity implications

Acknowledgement that discomfort does not mean failure

Familiarity Versus Authentic Comfort

Distinction between feeling comfortable and something being familiar

The false sense of control and security provided by clutter

The actual consequences of living in a hoarded home:

Physical hazards (tripping, blocked access, risk in emergencies)

Social isolation and shame

Lack of practical comfort (e.g., not sleeping in one’s own bed)

The hidden, ongoing “slow burn” of stress and discomfort

Motivation and Community

Importance of recognising the true discomfort of living with hoarding

Community connections via the podcast and accountability Zoom sessions

Methods to share resources and reduce isolation

Reframing Discomfort as Growth

Viewing discomfort as a sign of progress rather than a warning

The parallel discomforts of both dehoarding and continuing to hoard

Making conscious choices between competing difficulties

Strategies for Managing Discomfort

Taking small, manageable steps to build resilience

Being gentle and compassionate with oneself during the process

Reaching out for support (friends, family, therapist, peer groups)

The use and benefit of accountability sessions

The Broader Benefits of Transformation

Improved physical space and wellbeing

Increased self-confidence and pride

Better relationships and decreased shame

Regaining practical functionality and freedom at home

Enhanced overall quality of life

Practical Suggestions and Further Resources

Trying a small, uncomfortable but positive task today

References to previous episodes for deeper exploration:

Sitting with discomfort and distress tolerance (Episode 49)

Building resilience (Episode 70 with Dr. Jan Eppingstall)

Links

Podcast ep 190: What if we forgive ourselves, but now we know better, we do better? Choosing compassion over shame in hoarding disorder

Podcast ep 49: Sitting with discomfort: distress tolerance and hoarding – How unconscious distress avoidance might be worsening your problems

Podcast ep 70: Resilience and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall of Stuffology

Enough, the Podcast

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