Sign up to save your podcasts
Or
Share 222. Why You Should Stop Pushing Through During Sex: Learning to Say No Without Apologizing
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Or
222. Why You Should Stop Pushing Through During Sex: Learning to Say No Without Apologizing
If you’ve ever had sex you didn’t really want to have— to avoid awkwardness, not hurt your partner's feelings or just get it over with—this episode is for you. We’re joined by Claire Perelman, a Queer, Jewish, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist based in the Bay Area who specializes in working with queer, poly, and kink communities.
Claire breaks down what it really means to “push through” during sex, why so many of us do it (even when we know we don’t want to), and how to start honoring your boundaries without guilt, shutdown, or shame.
We cover:
What “pushing through” actually means and why it’s so common. We define what it looks like to override your body’s signals during sex and why so many women and femmes have been conditioned to tolerate discomfort in the name of connection.
How to stop saying yes when your body is screaming no. Claire offers practical tools for tuning into your physical cues, catching freeze responses, and recognizing when you’re dissociating mid-sex.
Why “not wanting sex” isn’t a problem to fix. Spoiler: Your desire isn’t broken. We explore how shame, performance pressure, and people-pleasing distort our understanding of healthy sexual agency.
How to say no without apologizing or over-explaining. From scripts to mindset shifts, Claire gives you real-life ways to assert your boundaries without guilt.
The nervous system’s role in sexual shutdown. We talk about what happens biologically when you freeze or dissociate and how to gently regulate your nervous system so you can feel safe again.
When sex feels painful or uncomfortable (and you just go with it anyway). Claire gets real about the internalized messages that normalize discomfort and how to unlearn them especially if you’ve ever endured pain just to avoid awkwardness.
How to rebuild intimacy after breaking your own boundaries. If you’ve pushed through in the past, you’re not alone. Claire walks us through how to reconnect with yourself and rebuild trust in your own “no.”
Why pleasure requires choice—not obligation. True intimacy comes from wanting to be there. We unpack how to create space for real, enthusiastic consent in your sex life.
Connect with Claire:
Subscribe to our Patreon HERE to watch this episode and access exclusive content!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
View all episodes
By Emma Norman & Cass Anderson
4.8
516516 ratings
If you’ve ever had sex you didn’t really want to have— to avoid awkwardness, not hurt your partner's feelings or just get it over with—this episode is for you. We’re joined by Claire Perelman, a Queer, Jewish, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist based in the Bay Area who specializes in working with queer, poly, and kink communities.
Claire breaks down what it really means to “push through” during sex, why so many of us do it (even when we know we don’t want to), and how to start honoring your boundaries without guilt, shutdown, or shame.
We cover:
What “pushing through” actually means and why it’s so common. We define what it looks like to override your body’s signals during sex and why so many women and femmes have been conditioned to tolerate discomfort in the name of connection.
How to stop saying yes when your body is screaming no. Claire offers practical tools for tuning into your physical cues, catching freeze responses, and recognizing when you’re dissociating mid-sex.
Why “not wanting sex” isn’t a problem to fix. Spoiler: Your desire isn’t broken. We explore how shame, performance pressure, and people-pleasing distort our understanding of healthy sexual agency.
How to say no without apologizing or over-explaining. From scripts to mindset shifts, Claire gives you real-life ways to assert your boundaries without guilt.
The nervous system’s role in sexual shutdown. We talk about what happens biologically when you freeze or dissociate and how to gently regulate your nervous system so you can feel safe again.
When sex feels painful or uncomfortable (and you just go with it anyway). Claire gets real about the internalized messages that normalize discomfort and how to unlearn them especially if you’ve ever endured pain just to avoid awkwardness.
How to rebuild intimacy after breaking your own boundaries. If you’ve pushed through in the past, you’re not alone. Claire walks us through how to reconnect with yourself and rebuild trust in your own “no.”
Why pleasure requires choice—not obligation. True intimacy comes from wanting to be there. We unpack how to create space for real, enthusiastic consent in your sex life.
Connect with Claire:
Subscribe to our Patreon HERE to watch this episode and access exclusive content!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
More shows like Honeydew Me
View all
Sex With Emily
6,728 Listeners
Brave Love Great Sex – Couples Therapy Podcast
1,959 Listeners
Strictly Anonymous Confessions
1,539 Listeners
Sexology
427 Listeners
The Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice
857 Listeners
Shameless Sex
3,011 Listeners
Come Curious
391 Listeners
Sex Stories
1,031 Listeners
The Curious Girl Diaries
613 Listeners
Sex and Psychology Podcast
307 Listeners
The Horny Housewife
1,551 Listeners
Talk Sex with Annette
69 Listeners
That's Orgasmic with Sexologist Emily Duncan
112 Listeners
Luvbites by Dr. Tara
144 Listeners
Girls Gone Deep
255 Listeners