Honeydew Me

234. Q+A : "Help! I've Never Had An Orgasm..."


Listen Later

In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience. 


The Question: “I’m 23 years old and have never had an orgasm. I have a wonderful boyfriend, whom I very much enjoy having sex with, but cannot finish, and have not been able to with the other people I’ve slept with. I also masturbate relatively frequently, and have tried a few different toys, and manual stimulation as well. I recently talked to my friend about this, who suggested watching porn to see if this helped, but I really just couldn’t get into it. I have a pretty active brain, and sometimes will struggle to be fully in the moment. Even when I’m turned on, and enjoying it, I don’t know if I’m able to be fully present. Am I broken? I know you usually say that everyone is different, but I often find sex and masturbation feels “nice” with smaller pockets of pleasure. My boyfriend is great, and priorities making me feel good with going down on me, encouraging me to use toys when we’re together etc, but I still can’t. Is it possible that I just am not capable of orgasming? I’d really appreciate your opinions and advice."

What We Cover in This Episode:

  • Not having an orgasm doesn’t mean you’re broken. We break down the orgasm trap and explain how pressure can make it harder to cum.
  • The biggest orgasm blockers. Stress, shame, “shoulds,” and a wandering mind are some of the most common things that get in the way.
  • How to get out of your head during sex. Grounding tools and easy practices to bring your brain back into your body.
  • Pleasure beyond your usual go-to's. Why focusing only on our go-to's (like penetration) can stall your pleasure and what else to explore instead.
  • Fun ways to shake up your routine. From massage to toys to new locations, we share fresh ideas to make intimacy exciting again.
  • How to talk to your partner about orgasm struggles. Scripts and conversation tips that make asking for support feel sexy instead of stressful.
  • Why small wins matter more than the big O. Celebrating little pockets of pleasure helps you build confidence and move closer to orgasm.
  • When to call in the pros. Pelvic floor PTs, sex therapists, and sex-positive doctors can help work through deeper blocks.

    Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!

    ⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    ...more
    View all episodesView all episodes
    Download on the App Store

    Honeydew MeBy Emma Norman & Cass Anderson

    • 4.8
    • 4.8
    • 4.8
    • 4.8
    • 4.8

    4.8

    515 ratings


    More shows like Honeydew Me

    View all
    Sex With Emily by Dr. Emily Morse

    Sex With Emily

    6,769 Listeners

    Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy by Cloud10

    Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

    1,976 Listeners

    Sexology by Dr. Nazanin Moali, Ph.D, Psychology of Sex | Couple Therapy | Sex Education

    Sexology

    428 Listeners

    The Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice by Sean Jameson

    The Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice

    870 Listeners

    Shameless Sex by Amy Baldwin and April Lampert| Pleasure Podcasts

    Shameless Sex

    3,026 Listeners

    The Curious Girl Diaries by thecuriousgirldiaries.com

    The Curious Girl Diaries

    611 Listeners

    How C*m by Remy Kassimir

    How C*m

    2,127 Listeners

    Come Curious by Florence Bark & Reed | QCODE

    Come Curious

    380 Listeners

    Orgasmic Enlightenment with Kim Anami by Kim Anami

    Orgasmic Enlightenment with Kim Anami

    1,467 Listeners

    Sex and Psychology Podcast by Dr. Justin Lehmiller

    Sex and Psychology Podcast

    291 Listeners

    That's Orgasmic with Sexologist Emily Duncan by Emily Duncan

    That's Orgasmic with Sexologist Emily Duncan

    108 Listeners

    The Horny Housewife by Jordyn Hakes | Pleasure Podcasts

    The Horny Housewife

    1,519 Listeners

    Talk Sex with Annette by Talk Sex with Annette

    Talk Sex with Annette

    65 Listeners

    Luvbites by Dr. Tara by Luvbites by Dr. Tara

    Luvbites by Dr. Tara

    148 Listeners

    Girls Gone Deep by Elle and Vee

    Girls Gone Deep

    246 Listeners