I am often asked what the difference is between people pleasing and being kind. It's a great question because often the behavior will look exactly the same. The difference lies in our motives behind the behaviors. Are we engaging from a place of fear and trying to control the other person's feelings or behaviors in some way, or are we engaging from a place of love and choosing to show up the way we want to? When we can learn to tune into our own motivations, we can clean up our engagements with others and reduce the people pleasing behaviors that destroy our relationships with others and ourselves.