On the show today we are joined by Vanessa Marin, who is a sex therapist specializing in helping women achieve orgasms. Through her work, in person and online, Vanessa has coached countless clients towards more fulfilling sex and a greater understanding of their bodies. In our conversation we cover Vanessa’s early desire to become a sex coach and the challenges that she faced on her journey towards her current status.

We then get into the nitty gritty of the big ‘O’, unpacking different types of desire, the dual control model, common myths on the subject and the helpful concept of curiosity. We also discuss sex toys, menopause, and some of the methods and resources that Vanessa offers.

Highlights

• How Vanessa found herself in the job of orgasm coach.
• The basis of Vanessa’s program for helping her clients.
• The strong bond between desire and orgasm.
• Differences between spontaneous and responsive desire.
• An explanation of the dual control model.
• Female orgasms are complex, how can we simplify it?
• Where to start focussing your efforts when learning how to orgasm.
• A few of the myths around female orgasm.
• The courses, steps and guides that Vanessa offers on her website
• Rethinking orgasm through the idea of curiosity.
• The use of sex toys in this endeavour.
• Menopause and orgasm and comparing different perspectives.
• A more realistic idea of a healthy sex life for couples.
• And much more!

Tweetables

“I always knew that female orgasm would be a hot topic in this area but I was definitely surprised by how many women were really desperately seeking some sort of solution.” — @VMTherapy [0:03:38.7]

“There’s a really powerful relationship between desire and orgasm and I think that a lot of women tend to neglect that relationship.” — @VMTherapy [0:07:50.3]

“I think it’s equally as important to think about what are the things that get in the way of me feeling desire.” — @VMTherapy [0:13:28.8]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode

Vanessa Marin — https://vmtherapy.com/

Brown University — https://www.brown.edu/

New York Times — https://www.nytimes.com/

Oprah — http://www.oprah.com/index.html

Real Simple — https://www.realsimple.com/

Finishing School — https://vmtherapy.com/how-to-orgasm/

Emily Nagoski  — http://www.emilynagoski.com/

Come As You Are — https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22609341-come-as-you-are