In today's episode, we reconnect with Sarah and Lara of Dynamic Doulas, who last joined us in Episode 196: The Toughest Part of Being a Doula. Three years later, we tackle the conversation that is in fact the toughest part of being a doula: Supporting women through the loss of a baby at birth. 

Sarah and Lara return to talk to us about their recent experiences including when a baby dies or faces a severe adverse outcome. We move beyond business and birth plans and into the realities most childbirth education never mentions.

We talk about a stillbirth at 38 weeks, a shoulder dystocia at 42 weeks, an ambulance transfer during a home birth, and what happens to the doula’s mind and body afterward. We explore the ethical tension between educating clients toward physiological birth and supporting every decision they make, even when those decisions give the doula pause.

We also look at the limits of “evidence-based” care, why risk can never be reduced to zero, how to think about induction at 42 weeks, big babies, shoulder dystocia, and continuous fetal monitoring without slipping into fear or blind trust in the system. For pregnant women and birth workers alike, this conversation examines responsibility, intuition, and the space between over-medicalized birth and simplistic reassurance.

Sarah and Lara share how these losses changed their practice, how they now talk to clients about risk and responsibility, and what it truly means to “hold space” when the worst outcome occurs. We also talk about nervous system strain, how doulas know when they need a break from their work, and why no doula should have to process these experiences alone.

For women who are pregnant, this episode offers perspective on how rare events are understood by the people supporting you, and how to stay rooted in your own values, intuition, and sense of responsibility. For birth professionals, we discuss burnout, secondary trauma, why partnership matters so much in this work, and how a strong professional doula partnership can make the difference between quitting and continuing onward with new clients after witnessing a client's loss.

#196 | The Toughest Part of Being a Doula with the Dynamic Doulas of London, Ontario

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