Hi everyone, it’s Dr. Caroline Lloyd here and in this week’s episode, I’m diving into a metaphor that came up in session recently: a child describing her mum’s depression as like living with a zombie. Not a Halloween monster, but that vacant, checked-out presence that feels terrifying when you're a child relying on your parent for safety and love.

In this solo episode, I’m reflecting on what happens when children grow up in households where a parent’s mental illness becomes the silent centre of the home. I talk about emotional survival, parentification, and the hidden costs of growing up too fast. It’s a deep one, but an important one.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

Children of depressed parents often develop a distorted sense of responsibility, suppressing their own emotions to protect the parent.

Becoming "the grown-up" too early can lead to adult issues like anxiety, boundary difficulties, people-pleasing, and sibling conflict.

Secrecy and shame around mental illness can isolate children and delay healing well into adulthood.

EMDR therapy can help reveal and reprocess these early childhood experiences in a safe, contained way.

Healing the inner child involves validating that their needs mattered then — and still do now.

Key Highlights:

A client’s powerful image of her mother with depression as a "zombie" opens up a deeper conversation about how kids experience parental mental illness.

Exploring the concept of children walking on emotional eggshells — not due to violence, but to avoid burdening an emotionally fragile parent.

How kids often suppress their own emotional needs to survive in unstable environments.

The pattern of parentification — where children become caregivers too early.

Long-term emotional toll on children who appear "capable" on the outside but carry heavy internal burdens.

Shame, secrecy, and fear surrounding parental mental illness — and how EMDR helps bring these "zombies" out of the cupboard safely and begin to heal.

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