In this episode, we're in the third part of our five-part series on equanimity. In last episode, we faced the beginning of an emotional storm. Now, the storm is whipping up more, enough to incite that common hurricane called “why me”… also known as getting caught up in our story line. The problem here is that the stories we tell ourselves are rarely helpful or accurate. Or as therapist Lori Gottlieb puts it succinctly: "If there's anything I've learned as a therapist, it's that we are all unreliable narrators of our own lives." Thankfully, equanimity can still be our life boat at this phase of a storm. We'll talk about the strategies to use to quiet those stories and reclaim equanimity.

 

Key Takeaways:

• We often assume that our circumstances craft the stories we tell ourselves... but what is more often true is that the way we narrate our daily lives is what actually writes and cements our stories.
• The stories we tell ourselves are really powerful and can actually serve as obstacles for us. They are not permanent though, we just keep rehearsing them. We can write a different story.
• Mindfulness is tough when we're in the middle of an emotional storm and our story has already kicked in. We need to work with our mind, to practice awareness strategies and mindfulness before we launch into a story so that we can unleash its grip. 
• We need to take ownership of these stories with our wise mind, otherwise our unconscious, fearful thoughts will drive the story. 

 

Links and Sources Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)
• Joy Lab Podcast #48
• Joy Lab Podcast #12 (Five Pathways to Inner Calm) This episode is a broad overview of what we'll be talking about over the next 5 episodes. It's a really helpful summary!
• Lori Gottlieb's website: https://lorigottlieb.com/ 
• Joy Lab Podcast #34 (Meditation with Music: Heart-Opening Meditation). This is a good body awareness practice
• Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PDF, we'll link a video soon)
• Natural outdoor environment, neighbourhood social cohesion and mental health: Using multilevel structural equation modelling, streetscape and remote-sensing metrics (2020; green/blue spaces and mental health analyses)
• Understanding Emotions: Origins and Roles of the Amygdala (2021)
• Part 1—You can run but you can't hide: Intrusive thoughts on six continents (2014)
• Part 2. They scare because we care: The relationship between obsessive intrusive thoughts and appraisals and control strategies across 15 cities (2014)
• How changing your story can change your life (Lori Gottlieb Ted Talk)
• On knowing what you are not supposed to know and feeling what you are not supposed to feel. (1979; classic article)
• Anger in psychological disorders: Prevalence, presentation, etiology and prognostic implications (2016)
• Warm Lines Directory

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147888303